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I'm Right. You're Wrong. Now What? Paperback – April 1, 2004
| JacLynn Morris (Author) Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author |
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This book can help you solve two kinds of couples' problems: the kind your partner will help you with and the kind your partner won't. I'm Right. You're Wrong. Now What? shows how one person―all by him or herself―can begin to calmly address and resolve a dispute whether the other person will cooperate or not!
Experienced counselors JacLynn Morris and Dr. Paul L. Fair reveal their tested conflict-resolution strategy―an approach that can help you enlist the cooperation of your partner―to resolve the issues that many couples face: interfering in-laws, financial pressures, religious differences, selfish behaviors, lack of intimacy, jealousy, addictions, inconsistent parenting styles, even gut-wrenchers such as infidelity or illness.
Even if your partner is unwilling to budge, using the approach laid out in this book will:
- allow you to get crystal clear about what you want
- prepare you to make a specific, clear and blame-free request of your partner
- give you a solid back-up plan to use in the event that your partner is unwilling to grant your request
- Print length256 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherSourcebooks
- Publication dateApril 1, 2004
- Dimensions6 x 0.64 x 8 inches
- ISBN-109781402201790
- ISBN-13978-1402201790
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From the Publisher
"Like a magician smoothing out a complicated knot with the tips of his fingers, the authors of this book teach a reader how to untangle the unhappiest snarls. With their guidance, you gain the unexpected new angle, the slightly kinder wording; a marriage's dead-end is revealed to have been an optical illusion, the bitter argument with the partner dissolves in laughter. It's not sleight-of-hand so much as a lightness of touch, assertiveness without blame, positive action without hostility. Love needn't be a tug-of-war between winners and losers, but rather a gentle balancing act among equals."--Melissa Fay Greene, author of Praying for Sheetrock, The Temple Bombing and Last Man Out
About the Author
JacLynn Morris, M.Ed., is a writer, child abuse prevention advocate and public speaker. A graduate of Boston University, over the past thirty years, JacLynn has worked with families in crisis, parents of children with hemophilia and adult survivors of child abuse. Articles she has written have appeared in magazines including Moment Magazine, Writing from the Heart and Personal Journaling. I'm Right. You're Wrong. Now What? is the second book she has co-authored with Dr. Paul L. Fair.
JacLynn has appeared at Canyon Ranch in Tucson, AZ; on radio talk shows throughout North America; and as the keynote speaker for numerous groups and professional associations. She lives in Atlanta with her husband of twenty-five years, Bruce H. Morris. They have two grown children.
You may learn more about JacLynn's work, read an interview, check upcoming appearances and book signings and correspond with her at: www. jaclynnmorris.com.
Product details
- ASIN : 1402201796
- Publisher : Sourcebooks; 1st edition (April 1, 2004)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 256 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9781402201790
- ISBN-13 : 978-1402201790
- Item Weight : 14 ounces
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.64 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #3,600,951 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3,835 in Conflict Management
- #4,239 in Family Conflict Resolution
- #8,917 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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1. What are my negative feelings?
2. What's the fairest way to describe the problem?
3. Why do I want to work things out?
4. How would I like things between us to be?
5. How can I actually get that?
6. And if that doesn't work, what else can I do?
The authors use this approach with dozens of individuals who are in relationships and are having issues with each other related to everything from raising the kids, to ex-spouses, to sex, to money. In fact there are 16 chapters essentially showing how this approach works in a variety of situations.
I have no doubt that this does work. Rather than solving the issue however, these questions and this approach are really about how to compromise with the other person in the relationship, take ownership for "my" side of the problem, and improve communication clarity and understanding. My only concern with this book is that it is like reading a screenplay versus watching the film, or reading the sheet music versus hearing the symphony. Both are accurate depictions of the same reality, yet one fails to really capture the deeper passion and emotions as clearly as the other. The authors work hard at never making any moral decisions, and assume all situations can be simply resolved through this approach. The book is a logic first, logic last and only logic approach. Life is much richer than that though, and improved communication and compromise gets one only so far when there are deeper issues.
If this book is viewed as simply a useful tool for helping open doors to those tough issues we often procrastinate on or are reluctant to address for fear of conflict, then I highly recommend it. The process of getting our thoughts out in a rational way is always helpful in better understanding what lies at the heart of these issues.
I think there comes a time in a relationship when the insurmountable problems of daily life compels us forward into a stale mate of souls. Two people living together moving in different directions emotionally, spiritually or even philosophically can confront the unavoidable day of "I'm Right. You're Wrong. Now What?"
If you are at the point where you have started to fight for what you truly feel is your right, your destiny, your sanity - then this book might shed some light on the solutions to this overwhelming problem.
JackLynn Morris asks six questions to assist the reader in selecting their particular conflict. Are you upset about finances, not getting enough sex, having trouble even discussing problems, dealing with difficult in-laws or thinking about a divorce? She also deals with religious differences, serious health problems and interactions with an ex-spouse. During each discussion, six questions guide you to the answers you need to solve the problems. Case studies and solutions are very helpful and give ideas for your own situation.
In this way, you can quickly access the information you need right now. You may only need one or two chapters, or you might want to read the entire book. I think there are few problems as terrible as feeling that your partner doesn't want to stay in the relationship, or at least acts that way to gain control. If you can't trust your partner or even talk to them, then I think in that case a separation may be in order, but for problems that are more of an annoyance or eternally cause conflict, this book has many solutions. There is a section on infidelity and that takes staying to a whole new level.
If you still love your partner, I believe anything is possible. If you read this book soon enough, it could prevent the destruction of your relationship and prevent a divorce or dissolution of a relationship that you value highly. Quite a few of the solutions are very effective, I've tried them. I know that to stay married over 10 years is to fight against statistics and I think staying married and being happily married are two different worlds. This book might help you escape from the dark side.
~The Rebecca Review
Trying to stay sane AND married :)
