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The Road Back to Me: Healing and Recovering From Co-dependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self Esteem. Paperback – April 9, 2012
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This book brings to the surface all the emotions a child is forced to deny when their home has been corrupted by the consequences of alcoholism, narcissism, perfectionism and abuse of parental power. The author has done an inspiring job at expressing the emotions as well as the perceptions a child experiences when a home is infused with denial. Poignant in her delivery, all of us adult children of alcoholics will feel as if she has written this story for our benefit as much as for hers.
This book is written through the eyes of a child who has been born to people who cannot 'see' her. The author recalls with amazing detail the thoughts and emotions she experienced while living in a home that was infused with guilt and shame. Lisa A. Romano has done an outstanding job at helping we recovering adult children of alcoholics remember, own, and heal the emotions our caretakers programmed us to believe we had no right to feel. Bravo to Romano.
I really enjoyed this book espeically the childhood and teenager parts. They connected in very deep way with my own experience and it was very very well written. Lisa was very articulate about her struggles with her mother, her self esteem and her awkward friendship attempts. Although my own Asian abusive parents had other disturbing issues and reason for thier cruel behavior but that did not stop Lisa's stories from hitting home with me. Her stories was identical to my own experiences and old scars. I could not put this book down during those chapters.
Lisa has transformed me in such a short time . I have seen numerous therapists ( at least 7 over the past 25 years at different stages of my life since my early twenties ) and have read numerous self help books. I can strongly say with exception of 2 books nothing has been able to make such an amazing difference in me the way Lisa has. I have on one occasion told her " I think you have super powers",her reaction to that has been " the super power is in you, and you just have to be able to tap into it".
From the Author
I was raised in a home that was one tattered by fear. Both of my parents were abused and neglected by their alcoholic parents. Because my parents did not drink, they presumed all their problems were solved. What they could never have known was, alcohol was not the problem. Their unconscious belief systems were. Unaware, my parents did to me what their parents did to them. They taught me to fear terribly what they and others thought about me. They programmed me to worry incessantly about when and if our house was going to explode. I was conditioned to believe that what I felt was unimportant, and worse, my feelings were ones I should distrust. As a result I developed food addictions, counting obsessions, and feared others. Lost within in a world in my head, I lived my life on the edge of steep mountainside as taped recorded messages from my past seemed to recycle over and over in my mind.
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Since reading this book I have contacted the author . She is an amazing life coach and has made a big difference in my life.
She is simply amazing !
It's amazing how this book could take you back to relating with your parents, friends, classmates, and teachers. I really appreciated how The Road Back to Me brought back memories of things I loved to do but forgot as I grew up into an adult with tons of responsibilities. It gave me closure as well. I did the best I could, my parents did the best they could. Seeing Lisa overcome her struggles provides hope to those who may be stuck in unhealthy patterns. This book is essential to healing childhood wounds! Yes, it was a soulful journey reading The Road Back to Me.
After reading this book, I contacted Lisa A Romano to be my coach. I have grown leaps and bounds in my relationship so fast. I didn't know I had choices. Growing up as an Acoa, I didn't have a voice. Reading Road Back to Me helped me remember the way I was treated. It gave me awareness into why I give so much to others and give to myself last... I always had to take care of everyone else so I would be safe. I was able to bring up old feelings and release them so I could heal. I recommend this book for anyone who is struggling in their adult life to please others. Now I'm choosing my own road.
As you read this book, you feel as though you are standing there with her, feeling her childhood pain and you just want to be a kid alongside her and give her a hug and ask her to be your friend. So many times I said out loud "yep, I know the feeling." It brought back memories of dealing with a step-father that was a terrible alcoholic and how a once great mother-daughter relationship dwindled to next to nothing because of him. Unlike present day, back then, you never spoke of problems or issues. Not even to your closest friends. This was because family would always say it was nobody's business and it would be a major embarrassment. Meanwhile, people knew, they just didn't know how bad. Like Lisa, I wasn't allowed to discuss "family issues." I learned early on to hold back and keep everything bottled up since the adults didn't think I was wise enough at 12 years old to understand what was going on. I learned how to act like everything was peachy meanwhile on the inside I was hurting.
Lisa is a heroine. After all she has been though, she took life by the horns and showed it who is boss. She is brave. Where many would keep the skeletons in their closets, she opted to open up the door and let them out in order to not only help herself, but also people that have struggled in the past or even now in the present.
This isn't just a self help book. It is an awakening.