- Series: Romance Scam Survivor (Book 1)
- Paperback: 322 pages
- Publisher: Sangam Enterprises Pty Ltd; The Whole Sordid Story ed. edition (February 13, 2018)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 064823360X
- ISBN-13: 978-0648233602
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 4 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,422,680 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Romance Scam Survivor: The Whole Sordid Story Paperback – February 13, 2018
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Jan recounts her story using many of the emails and instant messages she collected throughout the exchange. This is a unique approach to the topic, as in doing this, she shows how the scam affected her emotionally at each stage of the journey. By looking back on her conversations with Eamon she comments, with hindsight, the worrying signs of a scam and pin-points exactly how she got reeled in.
As the relationship grew stronger Jan's friends and family tried to warn her against Eamon. They tried to tell her that Eamon was becoming obsessive, a trait common in scammers. The reader holds a similar outsider perspective as the friends do in the book, watching as Eamon tries to increase the contact to numerous times a day and persistently asking for personal details. The reader thus feels the same compulsion as Jan's friends and family to point out the 'red flags' of the relationship.
Eamon continuously plays on Jan's hopes, fantasies and fears. She wants to settle down with a man, so Eamon fills that role for her, talking about potentially moving to Melbourne with her. This makes the relationship all the more real to Jan thus getting her hopes up. Jan's fear of being alone and unworthy of love also add to her denial of Eamon being anything sinister, even when he change's topic swiftly to her assets and work history. As the reader, it is hard to watch the scam unfold and seeing how vulnerable Jan was.
The most striking part of this book however, is Part Two, where Jan discusses her recovery. She explains the first days and weeks in detail, exploring her relationships with the people around her. Explaining their reactions, how they questioned her decisions. But most importantly her own thoughts; how she grappled with how easily she had been manipulated and why she ignored the signs.
This book gives a victim's perspective of how a scam impacts one's life and with hindsight gives a deeply critical investigation into how they can be manipulated. In an age where dating sites and apps are becoming common, this book could help people who have been in a similar situations, those who are potentially going through it, or potentially instill caution in those that don't know the signs to lookout for."
From the Back Cover
"How could you give money to someone you've never met?"
That's the first question most people ask.
In just a few months, Jan believed she was 'in love'. She accepted a proposal of marriage, and then sent money - ALL her money - to a professional scammer.
How did it happen? How can an intelligent person be so thoroughly scammed?
Jan courageously shares the details of her devastating experience, in order to help others recognise such devious swindlers who prey on trusting souls, and maybe even to catch this thief.
You might think it can't happen to you, or someone you love, but can you be sure?
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Like anyone in love, she was in an altered state of mind; what has been compared by experts in the field of brain science as akin to cocaine addiction. She didn't know it was a scam. In her normal conscious awareness months later, she was shocked at what she had done to herself.
The frequency of online dating scams is impossible to measure, as most people are so ashamed, feel so foolish, and are so depressed that they wouldn't want anyone to know what fools they have become. Jan Marshall has used her subsequent depression to reclaim her autonomy and her self-respect by going public with her experience. In doing so, she has become an advocate for those who have suffered in this way. I'm not going to call them 'victims'. We can all fall for our own illusions at times, but the cost of falling for romance scam illusions can be life-alteringly expensive, and not only financially.
In reclaiming her life, choosing to move forward and make something useful of a truly horrible experience, Jan Marshall has become a writer, advocate and teacher. She may have lost her money, and she has used this to contribute to others, to society at large, and to forge her own next pathways in life. It's an admirable direction, and would not be possible but for her deep authenticity and willingness to bare her soul and vulnerability in public.
In full disclosure, I have known the author for many years as a friend. I witnessed some of her difficult journey. The book itself is a rivetting read, and the author has my deep admiration. Read it and educate yourself. You never know when it could be useful to have the information you will learn at your fingertips.