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About Ronnie Champ
I am Ronnie Champ: the world-famous self-help guru, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, consultant, professional awesomeness expert, author, and a host of other lofty titles that require no formal training or official licensure.
I have also been an award-winning journalist -- I awarded myself the 2018 Ronnie Champ Award for Journalistic Excellence for my role in uncovering a vast liberal conspiracy to make America NOT great. At great risk to my own life, I infiltrated several left-wing Facebook groups by disguising myself as Hillary Clinton. Because I love America, I decided to publish my findings -- un-fact-checked and unedited -- in my book The Top-Secret Democratic Playbook.
Prior to that, I taught courses in Advanced Voodoo Economics and Good-Ol-Boy Business Management at Trump Community College in my native Puddville, Alabama. Based on my scholarly research, I published the book Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol Boys (Satire).
I currently live in a quadruple-wide trailer in Puddville, Alabama with my goats and with whatever female companion I happen to be with. As the women like to say, in every trailer park this side of the Mississippi: Ronnie Champ is the MAN! If you want to become a great man like me, or if you are a female who wants to get with a great man like me, then read some of my books, fool! You can also visit me online at www.RonnieChamp.blogspot.com.
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This funny book is for real men (and lesbians) ready to take their game to the next level. Forget trying to win friends and influence people! That's so last century! Get ready to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People!
Hilarious self-help parody!
If Ignatius Reilly (from A Confederacy of Dunces) and Andrew Dice Clay got together and co-wrote a self-help parody full of absurd humor about relationships and sex, the result would be something like this hilarious book by Ronnie Champ.
Get ready for your date with destiny...a destiny of Total Domination!
In How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People, self-help guru Ronnie Champ shares stories from his own life to show you:
- How to use the Seven Habits of Highly Dominant People in the bathroom, so that you will always have your sh*t together;
- How to leverage the Law of Attraction to turn the entire Universe into your personal genie and sex slave, so that you can get all the lucky breaks and all the freaky hoes;
- How to walk into any brothel in the world and get a girlfriend with only $117 in counterfeit money;
- And much, much more!
If you're looking for a good time, don't call the number on the bathroom wall! Read this funny book by Ronnie Champ. Best of all, when you buy the paperback from Amazon, you'll also get the e-book for FREE. Talk about a cheap laugh!
If you like absurd humor and witty satire, you'll enjoy The Democratic Playbook by Ronnie Champ. Imagine if George Carlin's ghost suddenly hijacked Rush Limbaugh's mind and inspired him write a wildly risqué and insanely funny parody of the liberal agenda, a.k.a., "the Democratic Playbook," while making an hilarious mockery of himself in the process...The result would be something like this humorous book: chock full of spoof and satire, with an irreverent and politically incorrect wit aimed in all directions at once, firing wildly at everything and everybody on America's political scene today.
When it comes to political problems, laughter truly is the best medicine, and The Democratic Playbook will give you a healthy dose of it. We can't seem to solve our political problems or resolve the deep differences between conservatives and liberals, but we can laugh at each other *and* at ourselves. If you love political humor and satire, and if you are not too terribly politically correct or overly sensitive, then you will love this very funny book.
In Abortion Stories!, Ronnie Champ collects the personal anecdotes of people directly affected by abortion.
Meet Fetus Jane, an aborted 6-week-old fetus who is sometimes mistaken for a booger.
Meet Pastor Backfall, who holds evangelistic crusades in the dumpsters behind abortion clinics, leading thousands of aborted fetuses to Christ.
Meet Winnifred Whitewash, who had to undergo an abortion procedure after she was impregnated by Satan, the prince of darkness.
And meet Chester W., a convicted rapist and murderer, who is fiercely pro-life. Chester knows the pain of abortion first-hand, after learning that the child he fathered during one of his crime sprees had been aborted by his victim. Fortunately for men like Chester, Alabama's new anti-abortion law will stop their victims from having abortions in the future.
A very modest (and biblical) proposal concerning abortion! Brilliant satire!
This book concludes with author Ronnie Champ's modest proposal to end abortion everywhere, while also solving world hunger and correcting the trade deficit between the USA and Asia. An absolutely brilliant solution! Jonathan Swift, eat your heart out! (Or rather, eat the babies' hearts out!)
If you're looking for an entertaining pro-choice book, you'll love this thought-provoking satire of the "pro-Life" movement. This book delivers a powerful and very timely message in an unforgettable way.
This book contains an excerpt from Ronnie Champ's classic self-help parody, How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People, as well as an exclusive Q & A with author and professional DOMINATOR Ronnie Champ.
This funny book is a collection of humorous pieces excerpted from Mr. Champ's hilarious self-help parody, How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People; his ultra-politically-incorrect satire, Mismanagement Is an Art; and his humor blog, www.RonnieChamp.com.
Ronne Champ can show you how to wake up the giant asshole within you! His own inner giant is truly WOKE, and stomping around like Godzilla, tearing up shit, crushing people under his feet like bugs. Read this book, so you can wake up your inner giant too!
Does your ego dwarf your IQ? Do you throw temper tantrums when people say "No" to you? Do you like to take credit for others' hard work and good ideas, while blaming everyone else for your own foolish blunders? If you answered "yes" to these questions, then you have what it takes to become a successful leader in America, just like President Trump.
Read Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good 'Ol Boys (Political Satire), to learn how to manage your organization like Trump.
"If the shameless stupidity of your fellow Americans has you rooting for another asteroid to wipe the slate clean, then you owe it to yourself to read this book. No, it won't change the story of mainstream American culture, which remains a sad and sappy farce, but it will help you find humor in an otherwise dreadful situation. Remember, if you can't reason with them, you might as well laugh at them."