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Rule No. 5: No Sex on the Bus: Confessions of a Tour Leader Paperback – April 28, 2002

4.5 out of 5 stars 22 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Hilarious observations about European travel" -- Travel & Leisure

"Takes readers along for a jolly ride" -- USA Today

About the Author

Brian Thacker has vast writing experience: he has written more than 1,000 postcards in his travels. He has worked as a tour leader, ski guide, advertising art director, silver service waiter, painter, barman, paper shredder, newspaper delivery boy, and butcher's assistant.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 300 pages
  • Publisher: Allen & Unwin (April 28, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1865085537
  • ISBN-13: 978-1865085531
  • Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.1 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,203,834 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I spent 2 years traveling all over the globe, and Thacker's stories are some of the funniest I have ever heard. This is a non-stop laugh-a-page book, and your insides will hurt afterward from all the stories. True blue Aussie humor, and a great read over and over!!!!
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Format: Paperback
Brian Thacker joyfully recounts his adventures through Holland, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, and France in his compendium of tour-leader wisdom. He offers countless tidbits of advice (never leave your pasta unattended, head for the Macdonald's if you need a clean bathroom, include Bavaria on your German itinerary). He describes the perils of pretending to speak French (he ordered sixty baguettes instead of six) and advising his charges to "get lost." (He meant for them to wander through Venice without worrying about the map, but instead they missed the last vaporetto.) His only heartfelt complaint is that his passengers would ask him numerous ridiculous questions (Will my brother like this shirt?). Luckily, he was able to get revenge in many different ways. For example, he claimed that "Ausfahrt" was the name of a German town (it means "exit"), then delighted in watching the passengers' bewilderment as they kept passing towns of the same name! For would be tour-leaders, he offers tricks of the trade, such as re-Christening any church you can't remember the name of. As to Rule #5, perhaps it is impossible. On his tours, it was broken most often by his own bus driver!
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Format: Paperback
Fun book about the adventures and misadventures of a European tour guide. Some really hilarious situations and some really unbelievably ignorant and shameless tourists. Some great tips on places to go and things to see. Enjoyed the book a lot! Four and 1/2 stars!
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Format: Paperback
I have traveled to Europe many times, with adult groups and even as the leader of student groups. What Brian Thacker describes in his book is so true and funny, yet I know you will not believe all of it. I personally do not believe some of what he claims to have written in german on behalf of his travelers, but it makes for funny reading.

Do not pick up this book if you are looking for a travel planner for various locations and it is a bit dated, since some of the funniest stories are about German border crossings (most of which no longer exist due to the EU). But if you want a funny look at what can happen on the road when traveling with a group of strangers, this will fit the bill.
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Format: Paperback
...because you will most certainly choke. I have never laughed so hard or repeatedly in such a long time. I absolutely enjoyed it and had to fight my family's grubby hands from taking it whenever I left it unattended. I wonder if the author still runs tours because I'd sign up, sell everything I own and show up at the bus in a heartbeat.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Brought this book to cheer me up after I had finished one of the exact tour groups this book talks about!

What a feaking laugh!!!! Don't think ive ever read a book this funny before! My flatmates think i'm weird because I keep laughing out loud.. haha

Some people will be suprised that a lot of what this book describes actually happens on these tours.. they are pretty crazy!!

Best time of my life though and the book helps me relive it all over again! Hot summer nights, cold drinks, a stuffy bus, 45 strangers and the whole of europe.. what a mix!!!
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Format: Paperback
If you haven't been to Europe and stayed at some of the campgrounds Contiki or Busabout (the hop on hop of backpacker version by the Contiki company) use, or done one of their trips yourself then you may well be forgiven for thinking Brian has exaggerated what goes on. Or the various tour guide's stupidness or lack of knowledge about each destination, but unfortunately this is non fiction.

I stupidly did Busabout for a few months (ended up just forgetting about the money spent on it and days left on the pass and trained it around from my remaining months in Europe) but can testify as to the Italian camp ground's used by this company facts and stories Brian gives. If anything he's actually holding back as to the poor state of the facilities, sleaziness of the staff and goings on of these places.

Brian tells stories where he made up facts to tell his tour on buildings and cities when he didn't know, something many a Busabout guide did as well although he does seem to be a lot more intelligent than a lot of them (to be fair there were a few good guides). I can remember one guide in Cologne, I asked where the fountain that has chocolate instead of water was (something if you're travelling with any females is a must see place), there's no such place he said, it was two blocks from where the bus parks.

Brian tells us of the $$ kickbacks he as guide gets from each service station, gift shop etc he brings his bus load tour into even when they clearly don't want to go there. This was something we all suspected on the buses I was on. For example one driver got lost on the way to Pisa (Thacker has examples of this in this book too) so the guide tells us we only have ten minutes to run to the square where the leaning tower is.
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