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Rules of the Game Hardcover – December 18, 2007
This Modern Love
The exciting new release from Will Darbyshire. Learn more
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
I. The Stylelife Challenge
Master the Game in 30 Days
II. The Style Diaries
The Pickup Artist's Companion
Questions for Neil Strauss
Amazon.com: Yours has to be one of the strangest career paths in the book business: from rock critic at the New York Times, to cowriter of memoirs with rockers and porn stars, to bestselling seduction guru. Do you ever wonder how you got from point A to point Z?
Strauss: Oddly, I never do. Instead, I wonder why it took me so long to get to point Z. And then I wonder if people are going to stick with me when I go to point whatever-is-after-Z next. I guess that would be point AA--which, come to think of it, I've already been to with Dave Navarro while writing his book.
Amazon.com: You write in the introduction to Rules of the Game that you thought The Game was your "last word on the subject," and you were ready to get on with your life. But, like Michael Corleone, you got pulled back in. Why was it so hard to leave?
Strauss: Good simile. Someone else compared it to Donnie Brasco. There's something about the seduction community that sucks people in. I've seen college kids drop out of school; doctors quit their jobs; and celebrities take huge career risks to pursue this knowledge.
It may be because, according to the Kinsey Institute, most men think about sex every two minutes. But our society has never given them tools to safely fulfill these desires. Once they find out there's a way to learn to be more successful with women--and see evidence that it works--they tend to dive in headfirst. Perhaps because, when it comes down to it, this is why we're really here.
Amazon.com: Do you meet women who have read The Game? What do they think? And with the thousands of people out there you have trained and the many more thousands who have read the book, are women starting to recognize the strategies? Do they ever say, "Hey, you're playing the Game on me"?
Strauss: I've run into some women who've read the book to learn about the male mind, and they've all been positive about it--the book, that is, not the male mind. It's the women who've heard of the book but haven't read it who want to burn it.
And actually, a guy at a book signing the other day told me he got caught using one of the openers. But he still walked away with her phone number. His advice: on the rare chance that it happens, don't get scared and scamper off. Instead, use it as an opportunity to start a conversation about the game itself and whether it works. If they've read the book, this obviously means they're interested in the subject--and now you both have something in common.
Amazon.com: Rules of the Game is actually two books: the Stylelife Challenge and the Style Diaries. The first book is pretty straightforward: a 30-day plan for "Mastering the Game." But the second one is not what you'd expect in a self-help book. Can you explain what it is and why you included it?
Strauss: I didn't want to just give people a self-help book, and promise that their life will be sunshine and unicorns forever. I wanted them to know that with knowledge and power come a new set of challenges and problems. So the black book contains seduction stories from the dark side of the game, and the fact that, as the German director Fassbinder put it, "We were born to need each other, but we still haven't learned how to live with each other."
Amazon.com: Part of the story of The Game was the tension of what happens, after you've become proficient at the Game, when you find someone you love. Is that the point: to go from player to lover (or, ulp, husband!)? How do you do that? Or does playing the Game become its own end for some people?
Strauss: If you master the game, then you also must master your own fears and insecurities. And overcoming these destructive traits can only help you have healthier relationships. That said, the downside to learning the game and then falling in love is that you have to be strong, because there are a lot more options than there once were. So for readers who are having trouble: the secret to monogamy is realizing that the fantasy of being with someone else is usually better than the reality. You can't do better than love.
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Top Customer Reviews
I started getting into the game a couple years ago when I started listening to David DeAngelo (also very focused on helping people become a better person, but still focused very heavily on the dating aspect) and he really opened my eyes to what I was doing wrong. Then I happened to come across this guy called Mystery and the stuff he was doing just blew David D out of the water as far as going out and picking up girls. This was what he was all about and he did it like that was his calling in life. The stuff Mystery pulls off would impress anyone. Eventually, I heard about the game and picked it up. It is a great history of the pick up community and of how Neil became Style and surpassed Mystery as a pick up artist.
This book seems to me to be a look back to when Neil was just starting out and what he wishes he had, had before he went to that first field boot camp with Mystery. It contains the steps needed to learn this stuff without having a baptism by fire and also warns of the dark side of getting good with this material.
Right now I'm on day 3 of the Stylelife Challenge and a member of Style's academy (Stylelife.com) and even though I have met the goals of the challenge (get a date) several times since starting to read this, I still believe it will help me become a more socially adept person.
I would recommend to anyone starting out on this path to read "Rules of the Game" first then "The Game".Read more ›
The best way to attract is to actually be attractive.
Strauss teaches that being attractive deals with who you are and what you are doing on the planet (not just with your attire and body shape). Surprisingly, much of the point of one of these two books is simply about how to create a better self (not so much about crazy sexual adventure). Here you will find a step-by-step improvement plan that includes details of grooming, presence, speech, goal development, and social interactions.
It can be a handicapp to be honest and loving but be seen as cold and manipulative. Seduction techniques can actually help an honest person avoid being misinterpreted.
If you are already successful in the social and business world, most of this will be review. But, you may find a few blind spots if you breeze through the plan.
Though the game of seduction can be cruel and manipulative and used for ill means. Like any powerful tool, it can be used for good as well. In the best use, seduction means being deliciously attractive in who you are and what you are about. Christ was seductive in this sense; attractive in love and power to the point that people were happier for giving up everything to follow him around.
I have a 16-year-old son. The 30 day plan offers him good starting strategies for developing social and business skill. But, the detailed advice should be valuable for most men and women of any age.
Charles Runels, MD
In the Challenge book, he does day by day challenges and orders you not to skip ahead or skip challenges. Some of these challenges bordered on ludicrous (calling random numbers from a phone book and striking up conversations with whoever answers? Seriously?) so I did not follow those orders. I did some of the challenges but not most of them. What helped me the most was his explanations about why men and women are attracted to certain people and how this is naturally wired into our brains. He takes a very natural and LOGICAL approach that clears up most all misunderstandings about dating (example: why guys think women are attracted to guys who treat them bad) and explains how all mating and dating rituals are tied to the natural desire to find the strongest and most successful mate and parent to our children, which is what all life on earth does, as well as humans. He explains how to take advantage of this logic and science to be more successful with women, not necessarily to "pick up" women, but to also find healthy long term relationships.
After finishing the book within a week, I started using his advice and tactics when out with friends. It quickly became second nature. I quickly noticed better responses from women, and even my own friends wanted to be around me more. My confidence went way up and my insecurities were pushed aside.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Good book. I actually used this not for getting women but for work and dealing with clients. Same ideas just not in a nightclub. Works great. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Michael Pearce
A real sentence from this book reads, "If the party is at your home, have her stay and help you clean up." This book is supposed to help people FIND mates, not repel them. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Madeleine Marino
Another great book by Neil. Definitely recommend reading this as well.Published 2 months ago by Florida-read
I was not able to become a sex god after reading this book. Instead, I became happily married by treating my friend, then girlfriend, then fiancee, then wife like a real person. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Amazon Customer