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SHATTERED SEEDS: "SOFIA'S STORY" SPECIAL EDITION II Kindle Edition
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|Length: 378 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
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Top Customer Reviews
Actually, I loved just about everything in this excerpt. I LOVED Sofia's mansion. The walking tour through it was gorgeous with so much rich detail and color. And I loved the story of the soldier and the baby. And I absolutely LOVED how Sofia's eyes were described. And I had a good laugh over the male soldier developing a maternal nature, complete with swaying hips.
I do have a couple of quibbles though. There were some small grammatical issues (two on the first page and one at about halfway. The one at halfway was the sentence about strange feelings being a relief from the strange feelings, which makes absolutely no sense). And I have the same complaint as Kate Meyer and Kathleen Hicks about the relating of Sofia's story. (One of the other excerpts I reviewed had the same issue). The problem is that, though it starts out with Sofia relating it, the story abruptly switches into third person omniscient. If she's relating this as a real story, she wouldn't be able to see picture perfect details, and she wouldn't be able to see inside people's heads to see what song they have stuck in their minds. Not to mention that once it switches, it's lacking her narrative voice to remind us that it's a story being told. (Anne Rice's Interview With the Vampire is a good example of someone telling a story within a story).
What I liked - I particularly enjoyed your descriptions, from the first paragraph you set a very clear picture of Pittsburgh, then Sofia's mansion, and finally the Vietnamese jungle, all in a natural, elegant fashion. It's interesting that Janine never pictures a groom at her wedding - it makes me wonder exactly what you're trying to hint at. I liked Sofia and Janine's meeting, their reactions to each other were very believable. The pacing was good - you covered a great amount of plot in such a short space, without skimping on the descriptions.
What I didn't like - The exclamation points were really getting distracting after the first two to three pages. If you have that many, it's really losing the effect you want to create by using them. Exclamation points are definitely on the top 10 list of things the publishing world hates, so you may want to eliminate most of them. The other thing that didn't quite feel right is the way Sofia relays the story. People don't tell stories that way; stories are written that way. I'm not really sure how to fix this, other than to have Janine write it somehow.
Overall your prose is beautiful and the story engaging; you have a solid excerpt.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The book started with Janene trying to find her biological parents and grew into a beautifully written tale of discovery through the life of Sofia. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Jill O.
This was a very good story. I hated to see it end. It was well written.Published 19 months ago by Tina Daugherty
I was drawn into the different moments in time effortlessly ,curious,savouring each new scenario. Wonderful reading will return to read again.Published on May 21, 2014 by J Pelletier
I loved the connections made throughout cultural and generational lines. This book will be of interest to those who like history and also enjoy studying family trees.Published on March 21, 2014 by Terri Nelli
Some repetition, and some unbelievable endings. But a really interesting book with well developed characters. Read morePublished on February 19, 2014 by g a jones
I liked the book,it gives insight of life before and in the WWII,just the end seems to be a bit unrealistic,but we all like happy endingsPublished on May 25, 2013 by Kathy Borbas
this book is great i couldnt put it down.it was so interesting to see how the quilt inter wove a whole family over different generations and thru some very difficult times in... Read morePublished on September 21, 2012 by my?opinion
Shattered Souls captured my attention from the very beginning, however the book was much more than I expected from what I read in the first chapter. Read morePublished on June 16, 2012 by Ykasunshine
This story grabs your attention from the very beginning. It links two woman from different generations over two wars. Read morePublished on June 10, 2012 by Amber L. Mesko