- Paperback: 288 pages
- Publisher: Miramax (May 1, 2008)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1401359388
- ISBN-13: 978-1401359386
- Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
- Average Customer Review: 10 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,352,329 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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SURRENDERING TO YOURSELF
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Iris Krasnow is back with her third tribute to the art of personal commitment, Surrendering to Yourself, a book that focuses on the importance of making life choices that lead to greater fulfillment. Those familiar with Krasnow's work will by now understand that her concept of "surrender" is slightly different than the norm; what she urges repeatedly with this book is for people to return to the activities that have brought them the most joy in the past. Previous titles (Surrendering to Motherhood and Surrendering to Marriage) were aimed specifically at women, and while this is written from the same perspective, it is broader in scope, with a central message that appeals equally to both genders. Inspirational interviews range from a CEOs with a passion for flying to the Yom Kippur sermon of Krasnow's rabbi, and while the topic at hand is often the author's personal search, it is no less meaningful to those who have not been stay-at-home moms. Gently different from more directly instructional manuals, Krasnow reminds us that, "However compelling these texts are and insightful the scribes are, in the end it is you, and it is I, who must figure out things for ourselvesour values, aspirations, the meaning of integrity". She's not about to provide a precise list leading to these discoveriesinstead, she'll inspire you to get started on your own list. --Jill Lightner --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
From Publishers Weekly
The third in journalist Krasnow's series, following Surrendering to Marriage and Surrendering to Motherhood, examines the need for women to have their own identity, apart from their roles as wife and mother. Using her own experiences as well as those of women she interviewed for the book, Krasnow believes that women will be happier and more fulfilled when they are in touch with their own identity. Krasnow readily admits that she loves being a parent and dreads the day her children become independent and no longer rely on her on a daily basis, but she also believes that "we can't allow our power to be gotten from the adoration of someone else-real power stems from the beams in our soul, a soul we own and no one else gets to claim." Krasnow examines several important issues for women-work vs. family responsibilities; relationships with elderly parents; time to oneself; etc. Her writing is appealing; the transitions between the anecdotes from other people and her own experiences are seamless. It is hard to dispute her thesis-that women need to pursue work or hobbies or something that is their own-but Krasnow is sometimes so optimistic that readers may be put off. As a freelance journalist and part-time writing instructor, Krasnow was able to move out of the city and raise her kids in a small community. Not all readers will have these options. Still, her message is likely to hit home with many overstressed and overworked women.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
Top customer reviews
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Now that I am 50, I REALLY love this book! So much of what she writes about really resonates with me. Something happens to you when you reach mid-life... at least for me it did... and she really hits the nail on the head. Like calling someone out when they are passive aggressively "joking" with you about buying a vehicle that's a little "young" for you to be driving. Priceless!
I recommend this book more than any other book I've ever read... love it!
I did. I took it off the shelf and couldn't put it down.
Surrendering to Yourself: You Are Your Own Soul Mate by Iris Krasnow was a fascinating read for me. It's about knowing who you are apart from your relationships and your employment. It was prompted by her wondering - and fearing - what her life would be like when her children left the nest. Who would she be then?
This is a dilemma faced by many parents whose lives are invested in and entangled with the lives of their children when it's time for the children to leave home and begin their own journey through life. It is also a dilemma faced by professionals who, when they retire, have no identity apart from what they've been doing for the past fifty years. "What do I do now?" they wonder and don't have a clue where to turn.
Krasnow talks about discovering and nurturing the soul. She says:
It is impossible to hear the soul if you don't stop, even for a day or two, and disconnect from the world. I mean really disconnect. From email and faxes and beepers and connect with what is crying out inside of you. I am clear of my own cry right now, and it is to discover a self beyond the labels mom, wife, writer. Whatever titles you hold, parent, attorney, teacher, nurse - make sure you too are trying to know the self beyond, parent, attorney, teacher, nurse - make sure you too are trying to know the self beyond your job description.
Your children are not you. Your spouse is not you. Your job is not you. And until you consciously go there, dig there, move the other stuff out of the way for a while and hang out with yourself, the you of truth remains a buried jewel.
Many of us face an identity crisis sometime in our waltz through life. The music changes its beat and we don't know how to dance to it. Crises of "who am I?" and "What am I supposed to do now?" sometimes follow a major life change such as divorce, child birth, children leaving home, graduation, change of job or profession, the death of a loved one. Or it can emerge when you realize with a shock that your life is on hold, that you're living on automatic pilot, cruising through the days without noticing much of what is going on around you. It happens,too, when one day you look in the mirror and realize that you have grown old and, searching through your mind and emotions, find that your goals have been met, most of your dreams have been realized and now what? (Find new goals and new dreams, of course. What fun!).
I was looking for more material on self esteem - something new, perhaps some "how tos" for this blog. I didn't find it in this book.
What I did find was a warm, down-to-earth, life story by a brilliant writer who had the courage to bare her soul for all of us to see and know. She tells her own story and includes fascinating and personal narratives by many others. While she doesn't give you bullet points on how to become acquainted with your own soul, she leads by example and leaves you with a longing to find a quiet place and get started on this great adventure.
It seems to me that If you get to know yourself at a soul level, the problem of poor self esteem will be resolved and you can begin to live your life flat out. We'll be talking more about this in the days to come.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who is sincerely interested in personal growth and the exciting exploration of their own soul.
This self-help tome is well written (as is its two sister books) and smoothly moves forward with fine examples to support the hypothesis that women require activity that is disassociated with their family relationship "roles". However, the Pollyanna writing fails to deal with those who have few options like single mothers living in abject poverty, but for those stressed out middle class females like this reviewer whose reasons for critiquing fit the book's theme SURRENDERING TO YOURSELF is Nirvana.