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Saint Bernard [Blu-ray]
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SAINT BERNARD - The Hallucinatory Epic from Writer/Director/FX Master Gabe Bartalos.
His award-winning FX career spans both grindhouse (BRAIN DAMAGE, FRANKENHOOKER, the LEPRECHAUN series) and art-house (Matthew Barney's CREMASTER CYCLE). Now writer/producer/director Gabe Bartalos brings his own years-in-the-making vision to the screen, as an unhinged orchestra conductor named Bernard (Jason Dugre of Bartalos' SKINNED DEEP) graphically descends into a surreal odyssey of chaos, psychosis and "f*cked-up sh*t that looks cool as hell" (Bloody-Disgusting.com). Warwick Davis (WILLOW) and notorious Andy Kaufman cohort Bob Zmuda (MAN ON THE MOON) co-star - with a performance by punk legends The Damned - in this "must-see for the truly adventurous" (UnseenFilms.net), transferred from the original negative and unleashed beyond the underground festival circuit for the first time ever.
The Making of SAINT BERNARD.
A one-of-a-kind film… Had it been released in the mid-1970's would have attained classic midnight movie status. --UnseenFilms.net
A hell of a film… Gorgeously shot, painstakingly crafted and clearly incredibly personal. Gabe Bartalos is an unsung legend. --BostonHassle.com
Top-shelf weirdo eye candy… The production and set designs are dizzyingly intricate, and the practical effects are often astonishing. --DailyGrindhouse.com
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Now, he finally is bringing his long-in-production film Saint Bernard to video thanks to Severin Films. Prepare your eyes and brain, if you can!
An orchestra conductor named Bernard spends the film descending further and further into chaos, insanity and surrealistic imagery, aided and abetted by Bartalos' FX talent. Also: Bernard finds a Saint Bernard head on the side of the road that he puts in a bag and takes with him everywhere.
If you're one of those people that demand a film that makes sense, you may want to look elsewhere. For those of us willing to descend down this portal, we'll be rewarded with a phantasmagorical odyssey into the heart of, well, something pretty messed up.
Warwick Davis - yes, from Willow - shows up, as does Andy Kaufman co-conspirator Bob Zmuda and the Damned. Bartalos created the Leprechaun and Tony Clifton makeup, so it makes sense that he was able to get those talents in here, if anything makes sense in this movie.
Basically, all I can tell you is that Bernard is a conducted attuned to the universe who has a bad performance due to his suit being filled with drugs and then he descends into a journey that introduces him from everything to a money-obsessed priest to the charms of Miss Roadkill.
The funny thing is, as disgusting as some of these set pieces get, they're all gorgeous. It's one thing to create these art installation-like sets. It's quite another to frame and shoot them in a way that pushes them even further up the ladder of art.
Again - this isn't for everyone. I'd compare it to an absolute movie in the style of Jodorowsky and that's no small praise.