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Saying Goodbye: How Families Can Find Renewal Through Loss Hardcover – January 4, 2011

4.6 out of 5 stars 17 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Barbara Okun, Ph.D., is a professor of counseling psychology at Northeastern University and a clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School, a clinician, and an author.

Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D. is a nationally known psychologist with over twenty years of practice and an award-winning author of several books.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley (January 4, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0425233227
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425233221
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.4 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,161,710 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
who wants to know more about dealing with death. As the two authors, Barbara Okun and Joseph Nowinski, write in their excellent guide, "Saying Goodbye", death these days is often a slower process as people are living longer and living with terminal disease. A lingering death of a loved-one gives the family and friends and the patient a chance to prepare for the inevitable. And preparing can be everything from emotional to physical to financial matters. Throughout the book, Okun and Nowinski use the voices of people going through the process which gives the reader a more casual feel than perhaps a text book on the subject might do. This book is written for the lay person and simple, easily digestible terms are used to make the subject of a loved one's approaching death a little easier to deal with.

Okun and Nowlinski redefine the Five Stages of Grief, as originally conceived by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1970 book, "On Death and Dying". They bring it up-to-date, dealing with the new realities of terminal illness and death.

This guide, published by Harvard Health Publications, does not just list references about where you can seek help, but also goes through the steps needed to help both the family/caregivers and the terminal patient. Writing about the emotional toll in the situation, the authors give useful suggestions about forming support groups to help. They also write about the ruptures within a family that terminal illness of one member often bring out in the open that have long been hidden. Okun and Nowinski are excellent writers and the subject of terminal illness and death are delicately, yet forthrightly handled.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
As I prepared to participate in the care-taking of my mother's last few months of her life, which was cut short to 24 days, I took comfort in learning how to deal with the emotional roller coaster that my mother and my siblings would go through. The most important thing I learned is that people that are dying can still hear you. Through the pain, through the closed eyes - they can hear you. I know this because I spoke to my mother and when she still could hear me and respond. She would respond with a grunt or a shake of her head and I knew she could hear me. Taking to her about memories of our childhood made her happy and telling stories where she didn't have the stress of answering or participating in the conversation, was perfect - for her and for my siblings and I. It was SO important to learn that in time to implement it. And then she slipped away...
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Format: Hardcover
For myself, this book brought up important questions and provided insight for helpful and healing ways of processing the ubiquitous fact of death and dying specifically today, with advances in medicine. I came across a blog post by Dr.Nowinski and it piqued my interest enough to seek out this and another even more recent book he authored. I read it because the moden day dying process (a longer one then ever before, in many cases) is all too hushed, fragmented and certain real apects seem taboo -- the subject matter is less an immediate concern right now for me then it might be for others - nonetheless it is an absolute keeper and source book for living in today's world.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I have read many books related to the death and dying process and Saying Goodbye is one of the best on the subject. This book takes readers through the complex journey that most of us have or will endure, a journey best taken with capable guidance. Okun and Nowinski write with clarity and compassion, as well as a pragmatic approach to help readers navigate the overwhelming feelings and features surrounding terminal illness. Saying Goodbye brings hope in the darkest of times and I recommend it unequivocally.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is an excellent book on dealing with terminal illness in a family, going into much detail and practical advice. The life examples were extremely helpful in illustrating the points, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness, or is the family member of such a person. The earlier in the process you read this book, the better prepared you will be, to deal with everything you can foresee happening--and a few things you can't.

I work in a hospice inpatient unit, so many times I see people who are closer to the end of the process, but if I worked out in the field I would be tempted to hand out copies to families. This was a Kindle edition that I reviewed, so I don't know how long the actual book is. However, it is worth it. Please consider buying this book for anyone you know who may be going through the dying process with their loved one.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Very good book for ANYONE who has a loved one approching death. I appreciated the "conversations/stories" that highlighted each section of the book. Brought home the concept the authors were trying to make. The book starts out when someone is notified of the terrible news all the trought the dying process, how and when to grieve during the dying clcle and after the death. It has helped me understanding all the aspects that the dying individule, the family and friends go through and what can be done to reduce the amount of pain and suffering for all!
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