The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples 1st Edition
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- Milton H. Erickson Foundation Newsletter
“This creative and cutting-edge encyclopedic volume on marriage by the dean of marriage research, John Gottman, has something for the academic, the researcher, the clinician and surprisingly, the game theorist and mathematician...All readers will be stretched and enriched by this book. ”
- Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, coathors of Receiving Love and co-creators of Imago Relationship Theory
“Gottman’s Science of Trust reflects his lifelong devotion to helping others improve their relationships…. [H]elpful content summaries provide easy access so that a busy practitioner of client can quickly and selectively access Gottman’s latest information as needed…. [A] noteworthy addition to any practitioner’s library.”
- Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy
“[A] text that I will recommend as essential for training marital therapists.”
“As always, John Gottman’s cutting edge science and wide-ranging wisdom about relationships astounds and inspires. This book tells us that the science of love relationships is well on its way. We really can grasp and shape our most important relationships. ”
- Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight
“John Gottman, the premier thinker and experimenter in the science of couple relationships, has done it again. In his earlier concept of bids, he brought clarity to the murky idea of connection. Now, in the concept of attunement, he brings clarity to the even murkier idea of trust.”
- Dan Wile, author of After the Honeymoon
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That said, the book is heavy reading in the later chapters. Gottman has a lot of mathematical modeling that, personally, I love--but imagine others who've read his more popularized books might find challenging, even though these parts are well explained.
My recommendation: if you're serious about relationships, and are patient, get it and read what you can. You'll learn something worthwhile.
If you want to understand how to nurture a relationship or recognise certain characteristics of relationships
This explains a lot of how relationships work or do not work, also when they continue or split, why and what predicts it and how to make things go well in a relationship in ways that build trust. Looking in my past, this book made a lot of sense.
It is also interesting as to how they setup experiments to learn about these positive neutral and negative processes in loving relationships.
This Gottman book is not a workbook so its good for an emotionally intelligent bachelor preparing for a life long relationship as well as those already in a relationship.
I purchased the audio version and found it incredibly tedious - it was unabridged and at times the book came across as being written more like a dissertation with facts and citations that only academicians want to know about. There were lengthy chapters on game theory, endless naming of sources, and other elements that didn't answer questions about couples. I wanted a distillation of the facts, and kept thinking "Get to the point, already!" The audio absolutely needs to be abridged to be useful.
Top international reviews
Louise (Bromley) Jewell, MAR, Registered Clinical Counsellor
to leave around the house for you or his benefits!