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Screamfree Parenting, 10th Anniversary Revised Edition: How to Raise Amazing Adults by Learning to Pause More and React Less Paperback – August 19, 2008
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"Rebound" by Kwame Alexander
Don't miss best-selling author Kwame Alexander's "Rebound," a new companion novel to his Newbery Award-winner, "The Crossover,"" illustrated with striking graphic novel panels. Pre-order today
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“The book gives many principles for overcoming anxiety and to start a new path of connection with your kids. It includes thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter.” —Parents
About the Author
HAL RUNKEL is one of the world’s most trusted resources for life improvement. His practical wisdom on relationships, conflict, and leadership helps thousands of people around the world enjoy calmer, happier lives. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, registered conflict mediator, and internationally acclaimed speaker, Hal is the New York Times bestselling author of ScreamFree Parenting, ScreamFree Marriage and Choose Your Own Adulthood. He lives with his wife, Jenny, and their two launching adults, Hannah and Brandon, just outside Atlanta, Georgia.
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1. Work on keeping yourself calm in the face of children melting down.
2. Give them latitude to be themselves, learn privacy, and make better choices (read very much like free-spirit parenting of the 60's, including suggestions that you allow your teenage daughter to have boys in her room with the door closed, because you trust her and respect her privacy -- yeah, right).
3. Force children to suffer consequences for their decisions, even if it's difficult for you, as the parent, to follow through with those consequences.
I can't say I would recommend this to anyone -- even getting a library copy would be a stretch, as there are much better parenting books available.
That's a pretty strong statement without a single shred of proof.
Does this mean that kids don't understand what we are actually screaming about?
What about when adults scream at each other?
When a bad manager shouts on his underlings? Is he also begging to help calm his anxiety?
Why people scream on the people the least able to provide them with help?
In the whole book I don't remember a single reference to scientific research. How a parenting book written in 21st century can completely ignore our understanding of child psychology?
Mr Runkel does quote a few other authors, but it looks like only because they provide nice quotes. He gives no background about their positions or references to the research those positions are based upon.
The book presents some anecdotes about people succeeding when using the techniques discussed there. I don't know what to make of these stories. The book information page has this disclaimer:
"This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental."
From Wikipedia definition: "Fiction is an imaginative form of narrative" and "fiction is largely perceived as a form of art or entertainment". About non-fiction: "... it is generally assumed that the authors of such accounts believe them to be truthful at the time of their composition."
Mr Runkel says that this whole book is the figment of his imagination and any connection to reality is coincidental. We can thank him with starting a new genre - "Fictional Parenting". I would think that being a family therapist he has access to real, not imaginary, people.
At times I found the author condescending, very frustrating. Some of the ideas he suggests are just plain ludicrous too. Suggesting that showing pride in our kids is telling them THEY own US. I wouldn't put too much weight on any parenting book, as each person needs to exhibit common sense and develop their own methods that work for them, but as I said - it's good to get a little guidance or some helpful hints to supplement along the way.
This book had neither, keep looking!