This book not only uses a truly accessible and almost humorous method to introduce BDSM to both newbies and adepts, but also takes a very practical and psychological view on the nature and boundaries of such relationships. It not only advocates healthy (safe, sane, and consensual) power dynamic relationships, but also illustrates the common pitfalls and abuses that can occur if one is not careful and how to identify and fix them.
Never have I seen a more "down-to-earth" instruction manual to a healthy BDSM relationship. The first half of the book covers the psychology of a BDSM relationship and how to make a healthy one; both from the dominate and submissive perspectives. Both of these are described in real detail from people's personal experiences in such relationships. The second half of the book covers the mechanics of BDSM, especially S&M (the most physically dangerous and yet often rewarding aspect) and how to safely indulge in "hurting" someone without actually *hurting* them. That point alone makes me give this book 5 stars, as it is very uncommon for texts to be so explicit about that topic or even care about it and the boundaries of it. BDSM is not a license to "abuse" the submissive and anyone who thinks so is simply not a healthy individual. This the the best book I have ever read to show that and how to make this lifestyle healthy and rewarding to all and make sure the submissive knows his/her rights as well as the dominant.
Finally, this book is a good reference to more advanced versions of BDSM and is a very good starting point (especially psychologically) for trying such a relationship.
Despite all this praise and the fact that I consider this to be one of the best books on the subject; there are other references that you should read as well that take it to the next level (this book includes many of them in an appendix). There are of course others that you can find from those, but honestly, from personal experience, I *highly* recommend reading this text first. It is a very accessible and not a forbidding text on alternative relationships and does not judge one way or another, or in all honestly advocate anything that is not "natural" for the people in any relationship.
In short, it is personally the best introductory text on the subject I have ever found.
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Top reviews from other countries
Michal Polaski
Funny, and seemingly a birthplace of jargon
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 29, 2019L BOWDEN
One of the best books for newbies
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 19, 2013