Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism: Devon, Molly, Miller, Philip: 9780964596009: Amazon.com: Books

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Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism Paperback – January 1, 1995

by Molly Devon (Author), Philip Miller (Author)

611 ratings

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The classic guide to sadomasochism by two experienced players. This unabashed, entertaining book strips away myth, shame and fear, revealing the truth about an intense form of eroticism too long misunderstood and condemned. It is fully indexed and includes over 225 photos and illustrations, and a 250-plus word glossary.

Print length

264 pages
Language

English
Publication date

January 1, 1995
Dimensions

8.5 x 0.6 x 11 inches
ISBN-10

0964596008
ISBN-13

978-0964596009
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Philip Miller and Molly Devon think that S/M is fun, and "that reading about it should be fun, too." Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is definitely fun, not to mention approachable, chatty, and insightful. What makes it truly special, however, is the sheer weight of loving details. There's clear explanations and detailed tutorials for beginners, as general as "safe, sane, and consensual" and as specific as "you will be swinging the whip with your arm pivoting at the shoulder." There's also solid advice, safety measures, steamy suggestions, plenty of black-and-white photographs, useful and humorous drawings, an extensive glossary, and over 900 entries of S/M clothing and equipment vendors, publications, computer bulletin boards, and organizations worldwide. As sadomasochism is a practice that's still taboo for many people, the chapter on finding partners and sharing your fantasies with existing partners can be invaluable.

Screw the Roses enthusiastically covers all the basics and even some of the not-so-basics--bondage, negotiation, sex, endorphins, dominance and submission, toys, safety, S/M community, and beyond. It's written primarily from the point of view of male dominant/female submissive interactions, but it's easily translatable into valuable advice for any relationship configuration. Miller and Devon's explanations of not just the how, but also the why, of sadomasochism are honest, sexy, funny--and a must-have for anyone who wants to learn about sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, or bondage. --Cheryl Trooskin

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Mystic Rose Books; 1st edition (January 1, 1995)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 264 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0964596008
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0964596009
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.53 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 8.5 x 0.6 x 11 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #61,882 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #106 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality
- #215 in Sex & Sexuality
- #2,251 in Social Sciences (Books)

Customer Reviews:
611 ratings

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Customer reviews

5 star		76%
4 star		11%
3 star		8%
2 star		2%
1 star		4%

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Top reviews from the United States

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ROGER ST. PIERRE JR

Great book if you want to learn the lifestyle

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 17, 2022

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I just bought a newer edition. To see if there was anything new I could learn. I got 40 years in the lifestyle. I recommend this book to all my friends. Even vanilla ones 😂

Aletheia Knights

Engaging and informative, despite significant flaws

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 17, 2012

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"Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" is one of the two books almost universally recommended to BDSM newcomers, the other being Jay Wiseman's "SM 101." Of the two, "Screw the Roses" is perhaps the more immediately engaging and certainly the more titillating, though it lacks the comprehensiveness and authority Wiseman brings to his subject. If you're serious about getting involved in BDSM but only have the time, money, or inclination to read one book, "SM 101" should be it. However, if you're interested in checking out a variety of books with different emphases and approaches, "Screw the Roses" deserves a place on your reading list.

Like other authors of introductory BDSM manuals, Philip Miller and Molly Devon emphasize safety, explore a wide variety of BDSM practices with special emphasis on the most common activities, and engage in a bit of speculation as to why exactly people want to do these crazy things in the first place. What makes "Screw the Roses" special is the authors' engaging style - witty, sexy, and personal, rather like a cozy chat with friends. Sections of the book that could have been relatively dry - those dealing with the details of specific bondage techniques, for example - are punctuated with enough humor and warmth to hold the reader's interest.

It's also - to put it bluntly - a very sexy book. There are a few informative illustrations and diagrams here, but far more drawings and photographs that seem to have been included for no other reason than that they're smokin' HOT. If pictures of women in bondage turn you on, you're going to be squirming in your seat just flipping through this book. There are also a few delightful erotic "stories" interspersed throughout for purposes of illustration, either from the authors' own experience or as fictional composites revelatory of actual experience. (Important note: Miller and Devon write from the perspective of their own experience as a male Dom and female sub; though they do attempt to be somewhat inclusive and most of what they write is applicable to other gender/role pairings, the "stories" and most of the pictures will have the greatest erotic appeal to male-dominated heterosexual relationships.)

Unfortunately, the informality that makes this book so engaging can also be a liability at times, when the authors descend into cringeworthy silliness. This is rarely a problem after the first couple of chapters, as the book moves into heavier material, but there were times toward the beginning when the strained, belabored metaphors and heavy-handed authorial presence had me wanting to tear my hair out. (Ironically, the authors' chatty style comes across far better on the printed page than it does when read aloud. A number of passages which I found appealing or amusing when I read them silently to myself came across as terribly awkward and artificial when I read them out loud to my husband.)

Like any authors writing about an intensely personal subject, Miller and Devon have biases. Some, they freely admit and strive to compensate for, while others go utterly unchallenged. They assume that their readers will be carrying around a significant degree of residual guilt about their sexuality; whereas many people undoubtedly are, I couldn't help feeling on occasion that I had fallen into some horrid alternate reality in which a basically healthy, wholesome sexuality is humanly impossible. (If I wanted to go there, I'd be reading Freud.) More problematic for me was the repeated misunderstanding and mockery of relationships based on absolute and literal ownership. Miller and Devon have a notion that the so-called "true slave" "maintains the conviction that decisions made by her Master are never to be questioned," and "has no relevant needs of her own." I know a number of people (myself included) who are, have been in, or are actively working towards relationships of this kind. Not one of the slaves is, or aspires to be, a mindless automaton. Not one of the Masters desires to own such a creature.

I found myself cringing a few times as I read "Screw the Roses," but despite these flaws I found myself much more often amused or aroused. Those who have never before read an informative BDSM book will find it an engaging introduction.

74 people found this helpful

Best reference I have ever read on the topic of BDSM

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 26, 2011

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This book not only uses a truly accessible and almost humorous method to introduce BDSM to both newbies and adepts, but also takes a very practical and psychological view on the nature and boundaries of such relationships. It not only advocates healthy (safe, sane, and consensual) power dynamic relationships, but also illustrates the common pitfalls and abuses that can occur if one is not careful and how to identify and fix them.

Never have I seen a more "down-to-earth" instruction manual to a healthy BDSM relationship. The first half of the book covers the psychology of a BDSM relationship and how to make a healthy one; both from the dominate and submissive perspectives. Both of these are described in real detail from people's personal experiences in such relationships. The second half of the book covers the mechanics of BDSM, especially S&M (the most physically dangerous and yet often rewarding aspect) and how to safely indulge in "hurting" someone without actually *hurting* them. That point alone makes me give this book 5 stars, as it is very uncommon for texts to be so explicit about that topic or even care about it and the boundaries of it. BDSM is not a license to "abuse" the submissive and anyone who thinks so is simply not a healthy individual. This the the best book I have ever read to show that and how to make this lifestyle healthy and rewarding to all and make sure the submissive knows his/her rights as well as the dominant.

Finally, this book is a good reference to more advanced versions of BDSM and is a very good starting point (especially psychologically) for trying such a relationship.

Despite all this praise and the fact that I consider this to be one of the best books on the subject; there are other references that you should read as well that take it to the next level (this book includes many of them in an appendix). There are of course others that you can find from those, but honestly, from personal experience, I *highly* recommend reading this text first. It is a very accessible and not a forbidding text on alternative relationships and does not judge one way or another, or in all honestly advocate anything that is not "natural" for the people in any relationship.

In short, it is personally the best introductory text on the subject I have ever found.

13 people found this helpful

R.I.P. Philip Miller

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 10, 2022

Verified Purchase

I first stumbled upon this book back in late 1998, and was instantly hooked!
SCREW THE ROSES...is, in My opinion, the best primer for anyone curious about, or beginning to explore the Wonderful World Of BDSM. The author's are extremely knowledgeable, experienced, and have an insolent sense of humor (never sounding pedantic, nor "talking down" to their audience).
( I learned more on the subject of the BDSM Lifestyle from this primer than any other volume.
R.I.P. Philip Miller, and thank you, Sir, for the gifts of your experience and wit.)

Top reviews from other countries

Michal Polaski

Funny, and seemingly a birthplace of jargon

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on May 29, 2019

Verified Purchase

See some jokes on FetLife? It feels like this is where the humour started. Otherwise, despite a few sections being outdated, it is a great book of stories, ideas and inspiration.

J. W. Chew

If you're interested in BDSM and buy no other, choose this

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on February 17, 2000

Verified Purchase

A well written, well thought out book on the subject of SadoMasochism (or BDSM or Dom/Sub ... whatever title you choose). Of course it's impossible to agree entirely with everything stated in any book - but for the begginer, the curious, the enthusiast, there really is nothing better to tell you what BDSM is REALLY about.

10 people found this helpful

Muffin

Very Informative

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on June 7, 2010

Verified Purchase

Apart from some rather poor photgraphs this book is well presented. As an experimenter in the scene I found it informative and gave a new slant on some old ideas. Something to keep dipping into to inspire you as you learn together.Given all the tat on the web this is a good buy.

2 people found this helpful

Vladi

Not bad not good

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on May 28, 2020

Verified Purchase

Not bad not good

dylan williamson

educational

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 5, 2013

Verified Purchase

this was the first book i bought as was recoemended and i have recomended this book since, comes in from the states but delivered in a week, really good really educational, everything is covered .

One person found this helpful

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