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The Secret Lives of Church Ladies Paperback – September 1, 2020
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*FINALIST for the 2020 National Book Award for Fiction*
*WINNER of the 2021 PEN/Faulkner Award*
*WINNER of the 2020 Story Prize*
*WINNER of the 2020 L.A. Times Book Prize, Art Seidenbaum Award for First Fiction*
“Beguiling.” —The New Yorker
“Tender, fierce, proudly black and beautiful, these stories will sneak inside you and take root.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Triumphant.” —Publishers Weekly
“Cheeky, insightful, and irresistible.” —Ms. Magazine
“This collection marks the emergence of a bona fide literary treasure.” —Minneapolis Star Tribune
“Full of lived-in humanity, warmth, and compassion.” —Pittsburgh Current
The Secret Lives of Church Ladies explores the raw and tender places where Black women and girls dare to follow their desires and pursue a momentary reprieve from being good. The nine stories in this collection feature four generations of characters grappling with who they want to be in the world, caught as they are between the church’s double standards and their own needs and passions.
There is fourteen-year-old Jael, who has a crush on the preacher’s wife. At forty-two, Lyra realizes that her discomfort with her own body stands between her and a new love. As Y2K looms, Caroletta’s “same time next year” arrangement with her childhood best friend is tenuous. A serial mistress lays down the ground rules for her married lovers. In the dark shadows of a hospice parking lot, grieving strangers find comfort in each other.
With their secret longings, new love, and forbidden affairs, these church ladies are as seductive as they want to be, as vulnerable as they need to be, as unfaithful and unrepentant as they care to be, and as free as they deserve to be.
- Print length189 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherWest Virginia University Press
- Publication dateSeptember 1, 2020
- Dimensions4.72 x 0.6 x 7.48 inches
- ISBN-101949199738
- ISBN-13978-1949199734
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Roxane Gay, author of Bad Feminist
“Our new decade deserves a new literary force with major literary skills. Deesha Philyaw uses the comic, the allegorical, and the geographic to examine Black intimacies and Black secrets. Her work is as rigorous as it is pleasurable to read.”
Kiese Laymon, author of Heavy
“To encounter Deesha Philyaw’s work is to encounter contemporary folktales. They are the stories of southern customs and mores and of voices over the back fence. The daughters and granddaughters of Toni Cade Bambara and Bebe Moore Campbell readers need this book.”
Yona Harvey, author of Hemming the Water and writer for the Marvel Comics World of Wakanda series
“This is no mere collection of sappy romance stories. The love in Philyaw’s stories runs the gamut from sweet to bitter, sexy to sisterly, temporary to time tested, often with hidden aspects. The word secret in the title is earned, and some of the secrets are downright juicy.”
Tara Campbell, author of Midnight at the Organporium, from Barrelhouse magazine
“Beguiling.”
The New Yorker
“Triumphant. . . . Philyaw’s stories inform and build on one another, turning her characters’ private struggles into a beautiful chorus.”
Publishers Weekly
“A collection of luminous stories populated by deeply moving and multifaceted characters. . . . Tender, fierce, proudly black and beautiful, these stories will sneak inside you and take root.”
Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Vivid, vibrant stories that will linger on your tongue like sweet tea.”
Vox
“In this year of constriction and pain, juicy goodness bursts from every page of Deesha Philyaw's debut short story collection. . . . This collection marks the emergence of a bona fide literary treasure.”
Minneapolis Star Tribune
“Sex, friendship, freedom, and agency are centered throughout this cheeky, insightful, and irresistible new book.”
Ms. Magazine
“Stunning. . . Philyaw’s stories are addictive while also laying bare the depth and vulnerability of Black women.”
Observer
“The church, sexuality, and everyday life come alive in each story bringing readers closer to experiences we can, or have, seen ourselves in.”
Electric Lit, “24 New and Forthcoming Books That Celebrate Black Lives”
“The stories of these women and their friendships come alive, beating with tenderness and imperfection, and build upon one another to create a beautiful melody of female determination.”
Amazon Book Review, “12 Must-Read Books by Black Authors Coming in Fall 2020”
“Full of lived-in humanity, warmth, and compassion.”
Pittsburgh Current
“These are stories about Black women that haven’t been told with this level of depth, wit, or insight before, so it will not shock me if Oprah gets around to selecting it before the end of the year.”
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
“Incredibly moving.”
Pittsburgh City Paper
From the Back Cover
There is fourteen-year-old Jael, who has a crush on the preacher’s wife. At forty-two, Lyra realizes that her discomfort with her own body stands between her and a new love. As Y2K looms, Caroletta’s “same time next year” arrangement with her childhood best friend is tenuous. A serial mistress lays down the ground rules for her married lovers. In the dark shadows of a hospice parking lot, grieving strangers find comfort in each other.
With their secret longings, new love, and forbidden affairs, these church ladies are as seductive as they want to be, as vulnerable as they need to be, as unfaithful and unrepentant as they care to be, and as free as they deserve to be.
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
How do you make love to a physicist? You do it on Pi Day—pi is a constant, also irrational—but the groundwork is laid months in advance. First you must meet him in passing at a STEAM conference. As a middle school art teacher, you are there to ensure the A(rts) are truly represented and not lost amid the giants of Science, Technology, Engineering, Math. But as a Black woman, you are there playing Count the Negroes, as you do at every conference. He is number twelve, at a conference of hundreds. On the first day of the conference, you notice him coming down the convention center escalator as you ride up. You try to guess which letter of the acronym he is there to represent. His face and baby dreads give you equal parts “poet” and “high school math teacher.”
On the second day of the conference, you see him again at a breakout session, “Arts Integration and Global Citizenry.” He’s chatting with the presenter—a sista, number thirteen—before the session begins. From what you overhear, you glean that they know each other from their undergrad days in Atlanta in the early nineties. The have a lot of people in common at their respective alma maters. They promise to catch up again before the conference is over. You notice she’s wearing a wedding ring, and he is not.
As you’re leaving the breakout session, he notices you noticing him. His smile is brilliant; you smile back. He falls in step with you, extends his hand, and introduces himself. He says “Eric Turman,” but you hear “Erick Sermon.” And your eyes widen and then narrow because you think he’s joking, in a weirdly esoteric way.
“No, Eric Turman,” he says again, laughing. “Not the guy from EPMD.”
“Got it,” you say. “I’m Lyra James. Not to be confused with Rick James.”
Eric chuckles. “But often confused with Lyra, home to one of the brightest stars in the night sky.”
The compliment takes you by surprise, and you’re probably doing a shitty job of hiding it. “So you’re . . . a science teacher?”
He is not a science teacher, nor is he a poet. He’s a physicist and chair of the education programs committee for the American Physics Society.
You make small talk about “Arts Integration and Global Citizenry.” He asks what brings you to the conference and you tell him you teach middle school art—sculpting, printmaking, painting, fiber arts, ceramics. He asks if you will tell him more over lunch. And you do. And then the conversation continues over dinner—you learn what the chair of the education programs committee for the American Physics Society does—and then in the bar of the conference hotel, over drinks. And then on a sofa in the lobby. You each share your top five MCs. You debate Scarface vs. Rakim for number one.
You notice his thick eyelashes, large hands, and a little scar next to his right eyebrow. When he lifts his newsboy cap a few times to scratch his head, you see the baby dreads are neat and well moisturized.
He tells you about his job, the one that pays the bills, where he develops astrophysics and cosmology theories, and conducts research to test those theories. “I aspire to be an astronaut as a side hustle, but NASA won’t return a brotha’s calls.” He shrugs. “What about you?”
“Me?” you say. “Oh, I just have the one job.”
“And your aspirations?”
You take a deep breath and spill your dreams. “You know that school LeBron James started? I want to start one like that. A bunch of them, actually, all over the country. But I’ll start with one, serving entire families. That’s really the key, you know?”
He knows. [. . .]
Product details
- Publisher : West Virginia University Press; First Edition (September 1, 2020)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 189 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1949199738
- ISBN-13 : 978-1949199734
- Item Weight : 11.7 ounces
- Dimensions : 4.72 x 0.6 x 7.48 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #40,862 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #738 in Black & African American Women's Fiction (Books)
- #911 in Short Stories (Books)
- #3,494 in Literary Fiction (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Deesha Philyaw's collection of short stories about Black women, sex, and the Black church, THE SECRET LIVES OF CHURCH LADIES is forthcoming from West Virginia University Press in September 2020. Her work has been listed as Notable in the Best American Essays series, and her writing on race, parenting, gender, and culture has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, McSweeney’s, The Rumpus, Brevity, dead housekeeping, Apogee Journal, Catapult, Cheat River Review, TueNight, ESPN’s The Undefeated and The Baltimore Review; Essence, Ebony, and Bitch magazines; and various anthologies. Deesha is a Fellow at the Kimbilio Center for African American Fiction and a past Pushcart Prize nominee for essay writing in Full Grown People. Deesha is also the co-author of Co-Parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in Two Households After Divorce, written in collaboration with her ex-husband.
Learn more about Deesha's work at deeshaphilyaw.com.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonReviewed in the United States on February 25, 2021
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Many of the stories are likes the first, with characters pitting their faith against their desires. And these stories also pit women against other women. In Peach Cobbler a teenage girl finds herself tutoring the son of the preacher her mother has been having an affair with for years, and find herself in a position of choosing her own path or her mother’s (another story, Instruction For Married Christian Husbands, suggests that she ends up like her mother, but with more perceived agency) In Jael, the titular character is disgusted when her friend begins to sleep with an older man, but she soon finds herself alone with him, and also makes a surprising choice.
There’s hope in some of the stories too. In How to Make Love to a Physicist, a woman’s distaste of her own body hinders her ability to be in a relationship with a seemingly good guy, but her psychiatrists helps her along. When Eddie Levert Comes is a poignant look at desire and memory, as a woman tries to find love while caring for her mother, who has dementia but wakes every morning believing her crush as a young woman is coming to see her.
These are all just amazing stories, very human and deep in their meaning, and creative in their various forms. Well done.
I wish there were more of these portrayals of realistic women and their sexuality when I was younger. I also appreciated that, in many of the stories were light-hearted or bittersweet. I'm a bit tired of books about miserable people suffering.
I think that the author is at her best when she portrays characters who she probably relates to more. Though the characters in the book are many ages, the most relatable came of age in the 80s. They are mostly defining their boundaries, especially in terms of their sexuality and their relationships with their mothers. When the author portrays women from older generations, the inner life that she describes is less nuanced, more what could be deduced from what they say rather than what could be imagined of their secret thoughts.
My favorite chapters were dear sister, peach cobbler, how to make love to a physicist, and instructions for married christian husbands. All of the stories had memorable characters and I'm sure that they'll stay with me for many years.
A lot of ppl like Jael. I read it twice (once after I reviewed the context of the scripture quoted at the end. I believe that atory) It's a fascinating and nuanced story. It made me wish that I had read it as part of a book club bc it left me with questions and points to discuss. All of that said, it also fell a bit flat for me. The other stories describe actions, both good and evil, that are common enough to be mundane, and I think that's a real strength of the book. In Jael, the characters are less like ppl I know. One, or possibly two, of the actions in that story are behaviors by teen girls that I never heard mention of in my 10 years of working at a crisis center (I've seen a lot of evil, though I'm sure I haven't seen everything). It's a compelling story, but not as satisfyingly real as the others.
I appreciated that a lot of the stories ended with semicolons rather than periods. If the author ever wants to tell us what happened next in their lives, I'd love to find out (and I was so relieved to meet one character for a second time towards the end).
Ms. Philyaw has found a modern way to tell an old story.
Well done.
Top reviews from other countries
The writing in this book is beautiful. I kept stopping to smile at the pages and appreciate the words. One of the chapters is a long letter from a sister to another while another is a list of instructions. Each different writing style is refreshing.
My favourite chapter was How to Love a Physicist, a story of pure, patient love and self discovery.
The chapter that made me laugh the most was Instruction for Married Christian Husbands.
As a people watcher, I love reading about different characters. In this book we meet and fall in love (or hate) with all sorts of characters from the very patient Physicist called Eric, the strong willed Jael and her grandma, randy men who get pepper sauce in their drinks and Jamie who had much more than that, peach cobbler making mistresses and cheating pastors.
Themes explored in this book include grief and different ways of dealing with it, love (giving and accepting it), identity, dysfunctional families, sexuality and acceptance, infidelity and caring for sick parents.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, read both the physical copy and listened to the audio book.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on September 16, 2021
The writing in this book is beautiful. I kept stopping to smile at the pages and appreciate the words. One of the chapters is a long letter from a sister to another while another is a list of instructions. Each different writing style is refreshing.
My favourite chapter was How to Love a Physicist, a story of pure, patient love and self discovery.
The chapter that made me laugh the most was Instruction for Married Christian Husbands.
As a people watcher, I love reading about different characters. In this book we meet and fall in love (or hate) with all sorts of characters from the very patient Physicist called Eric, the strong willed Jael and her grandma, randy men who get pepper sauce in their drinks and Jamie who had much more than that, peach cobbler making mistresses and cheating pastors.
Themes explored in this book include grief and different ways of dealing with it, love (giving and accepting it), identity, dysfunctional families, sexuality and acceptance, infidelity and caring for sick parents.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, read both the physical copy and listened to the audio book.
In The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, no secrets are left untold as Deesha Philyaw’s unearths the distinct, deep rooted hunger for freedom, passion, lust and desire that drives each of her characters, which in turn, exposes a rich and insightful exploration into religion, womanhood, sexuality, infidelity, power, sexism and so much more.
For such a quick, mesmerising read, Deesha Philyaw will have you begging for more.














