- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: Jossey-Bass (January 27, 1999)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0787946419
- ISBN-13: 978-0787946418
- Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 0.6 x 9.2 inches
- Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 5 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,410,312 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Secret Lovers: Affairs Happen . . . How to Cope
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From Publishers Weekly
Linquist, San Francisco Bay area psychologist, specializes in counseling "secret lovers" and those whose lives they affect. Here she relates stories of extramarital affairs, discussing how they "happen," offering suggestions for conducting a successful one and advice to the betrayed spouse. She maintains that an extramarital dalliance can improve a marriage, can supply a betrayed spouse the incentive to work at wooing back the straying mate. Alternately, the hurt caused by an affair may give the victim the strength to divorce and to build a new life, with self-confidence gained from enduring the experience. Believers in marital fidelity are likely to be put off by Linquist's admonition to those considering an extramarital affair that they "need to be informed and understand what works best and what doesn't . . . people deserve to have the best experience they can."
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
"This fascinating book sheds light on a subject kept in the dark too long. Without judging, her research illuminates the patterns, the passions, and the pitfalls." (Bruce Hilton, bioethics columnist, San Francisco Examiner)
". . . Therapists will find this book of value in their professional practice." (Penelope Russianoff, clinical psychologist and author of When Am I Going to Be Happy)
"As one who has given professionals guidance in public affairs-and is well used to 'Inside the Beltway Political Scandal'-it's insightful to dip into Luann Linquist's fascinating work. Don't be misled by a provocative title. Her in-depth accounts should certainly be helpful to thousands. It's akin to overhearing restaurant conversations or, at times, being underneath the psychiatrist's couch. This is a serious work with important implications." (John Jay Daly, APR, Washington, D.C.)
"Dr. Linquist uses a nonjudgmental approach to put secret love affairs in their proper place. This practical guide offers excellent advice to anyone who has had, is having, or wants to have and affair." (Rita Freedman, clinical psychologist and author of Beauty Bound and Bodylove)
Top customer reviews
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You may be prusuing your own happiness through an affair at the extreme expense of others including children. Much information points to adultery as a transgenerational problem. Did your parents do it? What was that like? It's an unfortunate legacy to pass on to your children.
Sneaky underhanded behavior frought with lies such as adultery is never ok.
Let that 'secret' out so that the betrayed is given the basic human dignity to make his/her own desicions....especially when VD and AIDS can come their way.
Conducting a secret affair, and then enjoying the everyday comforts of home with the unknowing spouse, (who may be devastated by this truth), is a form of rape.
The author is biased and irresponsible. I got an ice cold feeling reading this book. Society and the human spirit doesn't need more of this hogwash.