I'm a counselor who works with all kinds of couples: conservative and progressive Christians, blended families, marriages on the brink of divorce (usually because of betrayal of trust), and gay and lesbian couples. Oh, and sexually active teens. Is this a good book for all these groups? Potentially, yes! For the faith-based hetero couple, this is a no-brainer -- get the book! It's practical, gives you a peek (statistically) into what happens in the bedroom (like, find out what percentage of couples have/want sex every day). It addresses the question, "Are we normal?"
For relationships hanging on by a thread, or toxic because of betrayal (or differences in values), this book will put some water on the fire, but you'll probably also need professional help. The authors give lists of resources if you need focused sex therapy.
For non-religious couples, I found it refreshing that the authors don't beat you over the head with Bible verses and assume you share their worldview. Now yes, they do quote Scripture, seeking to dispel myths about God, marriage, and sex. Did you know that God designed sex to be pleasurable? But the authors take it further. Sytsma states, "God clearly designed sex for pleasure, but it is richer than just pleasure. If you goal is powerful pleasure, you might have only okay sex; but if your goal is intimate connection and oneness, then great sex is more likely to come along with it."
What about LGBTQ+ folks? I'd say if you are open to spiritual truth in your sexual experience, you will find some insights -- but it will probably feel like you're translating a foreign language, like the book was not written for those who feel "other." Still, for a book from a faith-based perspective, this one comes across as friendly, IMHO. Try the book, and if you don't like it, give it to your cis-het friends.
Bottom line, The Secrets of Sex and Marriage is reassuring, scientifically sound in its research, and practical.
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A Great Book for Marriage
I received the digital copy as part of the Launch Team. That copy has highlights on almost every page. I was reading it at a good time as my best friend was going through a tough time in her marriage and I was wanting to communicate better with my husband about some things. I am not good at communicating, especially about sex even though I've been married 10 years. Secrets of Sex and Marriage helped me realize some important things. Differences and how to figure out my and my spouse's likes and dislikes and to communicate about them. I am more open to my husbands wants and getting better at communicating a bit more. I hope to communicate to some friends about this book. Note, that I am a southerner from the Bible belt where sex isn't talked about in "mixed company". It's awkward and embarrassing and private. My husband is from the Midwest where people just say things! I highly recommend this book no matter how long your marriage has been, if you're married, and how good or had your sex life may be.
