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Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself Paperback – June 23, 2015
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Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind offers expert advice on how to limit self-criticism and offset its negative effects, enabling you to achieve your highest potential and a more contented, fulfilled life.
More and more, psychologists are turning away from an emphasis on self-esteem and moving toward self-compassion in the treatment of their patients—and Dr. Neff’s extraordinary book offers exercises and action plans for dealing with every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living.
- Print length320 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherWilliam Morrow Paperbacks
- Publication dateJune 23, 2015
- Dimensions0.72 x 5.31 x 8 inches
- ISBN-100061733520
- ISBN-13978-0061733529
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- The best way to counteract self-criticism, therefore, is to understand it, have compassion for it, and then replace it with a kinder response.Highlighted by 8,220 Kindle readers
- By giving ourselves unconditional kindness and comfort while embracing the human experience, difficult as it is, we avoid destructive patterns of fear, negativity, and isolation.Highlighted by 7,453 Kindle readers
- This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.Highlighted by 3,776 Kindle readers
Editorial Reviews
Review
“Neff’s compassionate tone makes Buddhist principles accessible, and exercises make them applicable in real life.” — Publishers Weekly
“A portable friend to all readers―especially but not only women―who need to learn that the Golden Rule works only if it’s reversible: We must learn to treat ourselves as well as we wish to treat others.” — Gloria Steinem
“A beautiful book that helps us all see the way to cure the world, one person at a time, starting with yourself. Read it and start the journey.” — Rosie O’Donnell, talk show host
“An original and doable blueprint for improving the quality of your life.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and Creativity
“Neff’s powerful research and her ability to explain how self-compassion affects our everyday lives makes this book a transformative read.” — Brené Brown, Ph.D., author of The Gifts of Imperfection
“This is an important book. Following its advice can free readers from the chains of self-criticism and replace them with the wings of self-encouragement.” — Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Love Without Hurt
“In this deeply personal, highly practical book, Kristin Neff moves the entire study of compassion forward.” — Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness
“Drawing on a powerful blend of Western psychology and Eastern meditative strategies, Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation.” — Tara Brach, Ph.D., author of Radical Acceptance
“This book and its courageous and compassionate author will become essential reading for all of us seeking inner peace and true, lasting happiness in our lives. Savor and enjoy!” — Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of Mindsight
“Brilliant! Self-compassion is a revolutionary new idea-a better idea-pioneered by the author, Kristin Neff, with profound implications for how to live our lives.” — Christopher K. Germer, Ph.D., author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
“Based on state-of-the-art research, Neff provides essential lessons for how to excel personally and professionally through self-compassion.” — Dr. Todd B. Kashdan, author of Curious? and Designing Positive Psychology
“This is an important book. Following its advice can free readers from the chains of self-criticism and replace them with the wings of self-encouragement.” — Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Love Without Hurt
“If you have a longing to relate to your inner life with authentic care, this book will show you how. Drawing on a powerful blend of Western psychology and Eastern meditative strategies, Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation.” — Tara Brach, Ph.D., author of Radical Acceptance
From the Back Cover
The relentless pursuit of high self-esteem has become a virtual religion. Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone more attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are. And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self-esteem for a brief moment, we can't seem to keep it. Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a Ping-Pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.
Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many experts believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves. This book powerfully demonstrates why it's so important to be self-compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you'd give to a good friend.
Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr. Neff—the world's foremost expert on self-compassion—explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective.
About the Author
Kristin Neff is currently an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion almost twenty years ago. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. They co-authored the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. Her newest work focuses on how to balance self-acceptance with the courage to make needed change. In June 2021, she will publish Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive.
For more information on self-compassion, including a self-compassion test, research articles, practices, and Dr. Neff's teaching schedule, go to www.self-compassion.org.
Product details
- Publisher : William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (June 23, 2015)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 320 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0061733520
- ISBN-13 : 978-0061733529
- Item Weight : 8.3 ounces
- Dimensions : 0.72 x 5.31 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,380 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #12 in Self-Esteem (Books)
- #19 in Spiritual Self-Help (Books)
- #48 in Happiness Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Read more at www.self-compassion.org
Kristin got her Ph.D. in 1997 at UC Berkeley, studying moral development. She is currently an Associate Professor in Human Development at the University of Texas at Austin.
During Kristin's last year of graduate school she became interested in Buddhism, and has been practicing meditation in the Insight tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion - a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically. In addition to her pioneering research into self-compassion, she has developed an 8-week program to teach self-compassion skills. The program, co-created with her colleague Chris Germer, is called Mindful Self-Compassion.
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In my efforts to be the best I could be in so many areas of my life, I drove myself to attempt perfection mercilessly. A lot of that was inherited from my father and made worse by a demanding and unempathetic marriage partner.
Just in the first being kind to myself exercise, I began to experience the freedom and power of self compassion. It enabled me to see and accept that we all share many of the same experiences, make the same mistakes and even feel the same way about ourselves, which is why we need self compassion to begin with. I was no longer an island of failure, but a normal person, making normal mistakes and having normal feelings. Having worked with an excellent therapist for the last five years, I was able to add to my work on being present and mindful in and through the reality of what is.
The final chapter of Self Appreciation was the icing on the cake! Learning not only to accept myself when things aren't as I'd like, but to cultivate appreciating what is good and wonderful too. Truly, this is who I am - who we all are, "warts and all" as they say. I am so appreciative of this book and the life altering truth within it.
If six stars was an option, that would be my rating. Thank you Dr. Neff!
Trust me: THIS ONE IS. At least if you find yourself stuck in some struggle in your life that you feel is possible to be solved but you don't know how. If you feel fear of the consequences of doing something in your life you'll also find here what may be the origin and to heal this fear. This book is about being stronger, emotionally stronger, in a way that I didn't see any other author talk about. The subject of this book, I think, is the root for all the other strenghts we can have as human beings. I think that, without this, we can't be sucessful getting to the other strengths.
I've been lost in a depression for the last 6 years and I had read lots of books from the top authors on psychology, self-motivation, personal efectiveness and on and on. All I found was some strength to keep searching, but nothing EVER touched so exactly on what could be the reason and the cure for the bad emotions I had for all these years.
I'm sure that , for me , this book is one more piece of the puzzle I've been working on since my depression came into my life. But I can assert that it's the most meaningful piece so far. No doubt. Sometimes while reading I found myself avoiding the book because the transformation was being too intense in my point of view, but I noticed my pattern and kept on reading. It really was worth!
I could keep writing here for hours about how now I can see a path, a light, that I couldn't see before on some of the most difficults aspects of my life. Past and present aspects.
I strongly recommend this book to you, to anyone.
I'm from Brazil and I'm a bit sad that we don't have a portuguese version of this book yet, because I could buy at least one copy to every person that I like or love (truly, I would give also to the people that I could have any reason to don't like). If I was a rich guy I would give one of this to every psychologist on the world so that this practices could be used on their pacients alike.
Kristin, thank you for coming with this for the world! Thank you very much! Spread the talk about it as much as you can.
Douglas
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Reviewed in France 🇫🇷 on January 7, 2021
