- Paperback: 320 pages
- Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (June 23, 2015)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0061733520
- ISBN-13: 978-0061733529
- Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 348 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,135 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself Paperback – June 23, 2015
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“Neff’s compassionate tone makes Buddhist principles accessible, and exercises make them applicable in real life.” (Publishers Weekly)
“A portable friend to all readers—especially but not only women—who need to learn that the Golden Rule works only if it’s reversible: We must learn to treat ourselves as well as we wish to treat others.” (Gloria Steinem)
“A beautiful book that helps us all see the way to cure the world, one person at a time, starting with yourself. Read it and start the journey.” (Rosie O’Donnell, talk show host)
“An original and doable blueprint for improving the quality of your life.” (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and Creativity)
“Neff’s powerful research and her ability to explain how self-compassion affects our everyday lives makes this book a transformative read.” (Brené Brown, Ph.D., author of The Gifts of Imperfection)
“This is an important book. Following its advice can free readers from the chains of self-criticism and replace them with the wings of self-encouragement.” (Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Love Without Hurt)
“In this deeply personal, highly practical book, Kristin Neff moves the entire study of compassion forward.” (Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness)
“Drawing on a powerful blend of Western psychology and Eastern meditative strategies, Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation.” (Tara Brach, Ph.D., author of Radical Acceptance)
“This book and its courageous and compassionate author will become essential reading for all of us seeking inner peace and true, lasting happiness in our lives. Savor and enjoy!” (Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of Mindsight)
“Brilliant! Self-compassion is a revolutionary new idea-a better idea-pioneered by the author, Kristin Neff, with profound implications for how to live our lives.” (Christopher K. Germer, Ph.D., author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion)
“Based on state-of-the-art research, Neff provides essential lessons for how to excel personally and professionally through self-compassion.” (Dr. Todd B. Kashdan, author of Curious? and Designing Positive Psychology)
“If you have a longing to relate to your inner life with authentic care, this book will show you how. Drawing on a powerful blend of Western psychology and Eastern meditative strategies, Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation.” (Tara Brach, Ph.D., author of Radical Acceptance)
From the Back Cover
The relentless pursuit of high self-esteem has become a virtual religion. Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone more attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are. And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self-esteem for a brief moment, we can't seem to keep it. Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a Ping-Pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.
Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many experts believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves. This book powerfully demonstrates why it's so important to be self-compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you'd give to a good friend.
Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr. Neff—the world's foremost expert on self-compassion—explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective.
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Top customer reviews
After reading this novel though I haven't been able to call myself a "terrible person" anymore without a huge grin on my face. All my friends think of it as a joke now. And the love I shared with them for years I now am working on sharing with myself. It has been so important in the journey of making myself whole. Thank you, Kristin. You made my life so much better.
Trust me: THIS ONE IS. At least if you find yourself stuck in some struggle in your life that you feel is possible to be solved but you don't know how. If you feel fear of the consequences of doing something in your life you'll also find here what may be the origin and to heal this fear. This book is about being stronger, emotionally stronger, in a way that I didn't see any other author talk about. The subject of this book, I think, is the root for all the other strenghts we can have as human beings. I think that, without this, we can't be sucessful getting to the other strengths.
I've been lost in a depression for the last 6 years and I had read lots of books from the top authors on psychology, self-motivation, personal efectiveness and on and on. All I found was some strength to keep searching, but nothing EVER touched so exactly on what could be the reason and the cure for the bad emotions I had for all these years.
I'm sure that , for me , this book is one more piece of the puzzle I've been working on since my depression came into my life. But I can assert that it's the most meaningful piece so far. No doubt. Sometimes while reading I found myself avoiding the book because the transformation was being too intense in my point of view, but I noticed my pattern and kept on reading. It really was worth!
I could keep writing here for hours about how now I can see a path, a light, that I couldn't see before on some of the most difficults aspects of my life. Past and present aspects.
I strongly recommend this book to you, to anyone.
I'm from Brazil and I'm a bit sad that we don't have a portuguese version of this book yet, because I could buy at least one copy to every person that I like or love (truly, I would give also to the people that I could have any reason to don't like). If I was a rich guy I would give one of this to every psychologist on the world so that this practices could be used on their pacients alike.
Kristin, thank you for coming with this for the world! Thank you very much! Spread the talk about it as much as you can.
Of all the books on my self-help shelf, Kristin Neff's Self Compassion just might be my absolute favorite. I discovered her book through the work of Brene Brown (whom I also love) and watched her TED talk, which I found very moving (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4). Her book did not disappoint. It is a guidebook for living with more compassion for oneself and for others. So often we feel afraid that if we are kind and compassionate towards ourselves we will become lazy. I know I fall into this trap pretty much every day! Neff discusses this trap and why it is not only unhelpful but also false. Practicing self-compassion can actually lead us to live happier and more fruitful lives (emphasis on the happier!).
Neff writes with the warm and compassionate quality to be expected from the bearer of her message. She supports her views with scientific evidence and life-experiences, which she references throughout. She also gives you exercises to do along the way in order to help you find compassion for yourself and start using meaningful practices to become more self-compassionate. Many of these exercises I'm actually still working on and will probably revisit over and over in the years to come!
What I like most about Neff's work is her attitude towards suffering. I am always suspicious when authors imply that suffering can/should be avoided or even eliminated entirely. Suffering is a part of life, a necessary one, even if it is difficult. To endeavor to completely avoid it would be very unhealthy (not to mention impossible). Thus, I find that the writers who resonate the most with me are those who seek to help their readers deal with the inevitable suffering they will face in life. Neff does exactly this. In fact, the idea of hers that I love the most is that when we are well-practiced in the art of self-compassion, our suffering can become an opportunity to feel loved and support from within ourselves. That is a wonderful thought to me! The ability to console oneself during life's difficult moments is something to strive for, and I feel certain that reading Self Compassion has given me a good start to leading a happier, healthier, more compassionate life.