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Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back Paperback – March 2, 2010
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From Library Journal
Cudney (counseling, Western Michigan Univ.) and Hardy, a practicing psychologist, offer a thorough investigation into the psyche by explaining those attitudes or actions that may have worked at one time, but ultimately cycle into adult behaviors that backfire. Self-defeatists, they claim, harbor mythical fears that stifle creative thought patterns, causing faulty conclusions which perpetuate the destructive cycle. The authors outline steps to work toward a breakthrough, although they caution that counseling may be necessary to stop the self-defeating cycle. This guide is recommended for self-help and therapy collections.
- Lisa Wise, Steele Memorial Lib., Elmira,
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
"The most detailed examinations of self-defeating behavior I have ever read. Contains some very useful methods of defeating self-defeatism."--Albert Ellis, PH.D., President, Institute of Rational-emotive therapy, and author of "A New Guide To Rational Living""Some of my patients would not need therapy if they would read this book."--Dr. Alan Loy McGinnis, author of "The Power of Optimism""We can choose to use self-defeating or life-enhancing behaviors. The first time a self-defeating behavior eased a difficult time was probably an accident. After that, we chose it. Now, we can un-choose it...."[Self-Defeating Behaviors] "is logical and most helpful."--"The Phoenix"
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I'm guessing most people read self help books for the purpose of betterment. They want to improve their lives, not just read something 20 times over and over again about what the problem is. The authors simply believe that the problem is that the process of decision making becomes relegated to the subconscious mind over time and that the subconscious can make negative decisions instead of positive ones. There, that one sentence, gives you the whole gist of this book. They give no practical insight as to how to solve this problem, they merely describe it in dull, psychological text type writing. I was very disappointed. I am writing this review for the next person who might be tempted by the title, not realizing it has nothing to offer in terms of personal growth, merely description of a problem and a psychological description.
The manner in which this book is set up is very helpful, first they call us to understand the nature and process of the Self-Defeating Path then with that understanding in place show us the Path of Breakthrough, the author also does a wonderful job of presenting case studies and following those case studies through out the book to show us how they work.
I used this to help figure out ways to break out of one self-defeating behavior pattern, and will probably replicate this going forward into others to help me come out a better person, they helped me a lot.
So don't always blame yourself, if you feel like crap sometimes"
Social engineering is the use of centralized planning in an attempt to manage social change and regulate the future development and behavior of a society. Our society doesn't give a damn how we feel or whether we have meaning in our lives. In fact, society doesn't care whether we live or die. When I say society, I also mean those who set up society.
In the introduction of the book, it states, "For all its virtues, our culture is in many ways toxic to humans, and that the by-products of its systems and structures impose negative experiences on most people." So if you sometimes get to feeling like life is pushing you around, you are 1000% correct.
An oligarchy is a small group of people having control of a country, organization, or institution. Pick up a dollar bill and at the top of the bill are the words Federal Reserve. Then look up who is the Federal Reserve. These are them that make up the oligarchy.
If you want and alternative to this life that is orchestrated by an oligarchy, then you might want to read the book that I mentioned.
The Serenity Prayer suggests to know what you cannot change and what you can. I am currently reading the history of the Serenity Prayer written by the daughter of its author. In her book, she says that it should read, "God, grant me the grace." She says that grace is something we have to prepare for.
If you want and alternative to this life that is orchestrated by an oligarchy, then you might want to read this book: Self-Defeating Behaviors. I agree with this author who says we have to understand the origin of our self-defeating behaviors, how they keep going, where we practice them, and how and where we can replace them.
This book is worth the read even if they only let you off the hook of blame; we are very limited on what we can do in this sometimes sick and self perpetuating society.