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Self Parenting: The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations Paperback – February 1, 1987
"Rebound" by Kwame Alexander
Don't miss best-selling author Kwame Alexander's "Rebound," a new companion novel to his Newbery Award-winner, "The Crossover,"" illustrated with striking graphic novel panels. Pre-order today
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1. Learn life problems solving skills
2. Learn how to set realistic goals
3. Learn how to set limits and boundaries
4. Learn to have an alternative response when faced with thoughts, feelings, perceptions
trigger that could lead to unwise decisions. As it is not temptation it is what is
done about it.
These would all be areas a parent would help teach a child to becoming a functioning person who can find happiness. The book has exercises that do nothing to impart any kind of action taking what so ever. Asking me questions to ask my inner child about what its favorite color is or favorite movie isn't accomplishing anything. It wouldn't help anyone find out how to open up about what went on in their past family history if they still need to do that as well.
Don't bother with this book it will be a big disappointment.
I've found about Self-Parenting (SP) about 323 days ago and today I've completed my 320th SP session (+ 10.5 months). I can easily and wholeheartedly say that my life is not the same since I learned about this profound technique. I consider myself very lucky and privileged to discover SP as well as to meet Dr John Pollard so early in my self-growth journey (5 years in total).
If you really want to "change" yourself and your life, this is the best way that I have ever experienced! When you order "SELF-PARENTING: The Complete Guide To Your Inner Conversations" (ie yellow book) and "The Self-Parenting Program: Core Guidelines for the SELF-PARENTING Practitioner" (ie blue book), you don't only get these books but also a brand new and complete system called Self-Parenting Program. I feel Dr. Pollard's other book "How Relationships Work" would also complement this program to excellence.
In a recent morning session my Inner Child has commented about this Self-Parenting Program as below:
"Learn this, everyone! This is a new language, it is a bit hard to learn it but it is well worth the effort."
"This is the best thing that has happened to me! It gave me a chance to express myself and to be heard by you whereas beforehand I was abandoned. I want to thank you for learning this new language"
"Are you aware how special is this? I am savoring happiness, intimacy, and continuity (consistency) with this program."
As my Inner Child says it is a new but advanced language which promises you many positive changes that you could NOT have imagined beforehand in your life given you follow the program and its guidelines word by word. Or else you will be drawn in the raging river!
Why do I find Dr Pollard's books and SPP so superior and advanced?
First of all, here you are the captain of your life journey and self-discovery. You don't need anyone else in this life journey, only guidance to check if you are at the right track. You finally realize that you "can" and "are" in charge of your own life and your Inner Child. You do actually become your own therapist.
You gradually but surely become conscious of old programmings and conditionings acquired from parents, friends, schooling, culture etc and start to have your own natural self-parenting style that is democratic, loving and caring to your own Inner Child.
As you accumulate more hours of SP sessions which I would describe as the intimate and nurturing setting for Inner Parent and Inner Child interaction, you start to expand this brand new style of treatment to your own Inner Child outside the sessions ie into real world. At some point you stop giving "automatic" or "learned" reactions but rather spontaneous responses irrelevant to past conditions and experiences.
You don't specifically work on your outer relationships in SP sessions, yet your outer relations also automatically improve as you really start to love and care for your Inner Child.
I would lastly say if you are really looking for a "permanent" and right (there are no short cuts here!) solution to your recurring personal problems, you need to read first the "SELF-PARENTING: The Complete Guide To Your Inner Conversations" If you are determined to stay within the rules of SPP and allocate daily 30 minutes to the most important relationship of your own life, you will find all the answers leading to a fulfilling and happy life first inside, then in outside world.
This aspect of ourselves has been noted in psychoanalytic terms as the id and in Transactional Analysis as the Child Ego State. This Child part of ourselves seeks pleasure; wants what it wants when it wants it; brings enthusiasm and curiosity to our cogitations, actions and interactions; wants approval and affection; and may respond to perceived negativity with feelings of hurt, anger and rebellion. We also have an inner Parent and inner Adult - the executive part of ourselves that makes logical, reasoned decisions for courses of action based on available information.
We tend to think of a child in relationship with other adults, particularly the child's parents. With the inner Child it is our own inner Parent who is involved in dealing with the inner Child. So this Child is dependent upon this other aspect of ourselves for its nurturing and disciplining. Similarly to family relationships in the outer world, this Child is also a teacher to the inner Parent and inner Adult.
The potential strengths of your Inner Parent are the same strengths that the ideal outer parent would have. Your Inner Parent can be an excellent teacher, providing guidance and setting examples for your Inner Child. Your Inner Parent can maintain an intimate sense of caring and support for your Inner Child so that it develops its own talents and skills. When you express positive concern for your Inner Child or give it encouragement, you are voicing the positive Inner Parent.
During times of stress the positive Inner Parent is a calming, soothing voice that is always present to help and support your Inner Child. The Inner Parent makes decisions, chooses options and evaluates priorities for both Inner Selves. The positive Inner Parent can provide the Inner Child with whatever it wants or needs by practicing the SELF-PARENTING Program. Training and experience allow the positive Inner Parent to become highly developed in rational thinking and intellectual activity. (p. 17)
Without a model for positive outer parenting, learning to become a positive Inner Parent is very difficult. The half-hour format for Self-Parenting sessions is easy to follow. (p. 37)
Pollard explains ways to develop a nurturing Parent and provides excellent exercises for doing this. One of the most important is: "Always remember that whenever you ask a question, your only response will be, "Thank you, Inner Child, for telling me that." (p. 45)
This book will be a help to caregivers and careseekers who are sensitive to the inner voices that often cause problems in our lives but at the same time can be some of our best teachers and guides through the jungles of life.
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