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Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition Paperback – January 27, 2012

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,253 ratings

Understand your psyche in a clear and comprehensive way, and resolve deep-seated emotional issues. Self-Therapy makes the power of a cutting-edge psychotherapy approach accessible to everyone. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) has been spreading rapidly across the country in the past decade. It is incredibly effective on a wide variety of life issues, such as self-esteem, procrastination, depression, and relationship issues. IFS is also user-friendly; it helps you to comprehend the complexity of your psyche. Dr. Earley shows how IFS is a complete method for psychological healing that you can use on your own.Self-Therapy is also helpful for therapists because it presents the IFS model in such detail that it is a manual for the method.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,253 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book effective and helpful for getting to the core issue. They also say it's well-explained, intuitive, and easy to read. Readers appreciate the delightful, eloquent drawings and creative workbook style. They mention the material is awesome and lifts heavy weights. Opinions are mixed on the ease of use, with some finding it wonderful and thorough, while others say it's not so easy to do by oneself.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

95 customers mention "Effectiveness"92 positive3 negative

Customers find the book effective. They say it helps people get to the core issue, is a great self-awareness tool, and full of exercises and strategies to work with a partner, therapist, or even on their own. Readers mention the approach is very effective and helpful both for clinicians and laypeople just trying to get there. They also say it's a good resource to be used in a group setting.

"...In case you haven't heard of IFS, it is a respected psychological system and is used primarily by licensed therapists and clinics, and recommended..." Read more

"...Turn to this. Really. Try it. It’s different because it really does work. And by the way the language is all common every day easy to understand...." Read more

"...emotional wounds (or "burdens") from your past -- and it teaches all of this in simple, easy-to-understand language...." Read more

"...PROTECTOR <->EZILE seems workable and intuitive in many aspects. I’m skeptical about its ability to heal deeper trauma." Read more

57 customers mention "Ease of understanding"50 positive7 negative

Customers find the book well-explained, easy to read, and use. They say it lays out very clearly the steps for using IFS. Readers also mention the language is common and easy to understand. In addition, they say the book is accessible and direct.

"...nails it by combining clear illustrations, good organization and thoughtful writing. It also has numerous exercises you can do yourself...." Read more

"...And by the way the language is all common every day easy to understand. No obscure Pali scriptures or lofty abstractions.Done." Read more

"...The book provides thorough explanations, examples, and exhaustive "what to do if this doesn't work" alternatives and solutions...." Read more

"...PROTECTOR <->EZILE seems workable and intuitive in many aspects. I’m skeptical about its ability to heal deeper trauma." Read more

9 customers mention "Illustrations"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the illustrations delightful, eloquent, and creative. They also appreciate the workbook style and practical application of the concepts. Readers also mention the cartoons are helpful and detailed.

"...the world to explain in writing, yet the book nails it by combining clear illustrations, good organization and thoughtful writing...." Read more

"...I could not put it down. The cartoons were actually helpful...." Read more

"...help sheets which Jay includes in the book, as well as the numerous drawings in the book which helps illustrate the different parts of a person's..." Read more

"...The book's delightful eloquent drawings show how different personality parts interact with each other in such common dilemmas as procrastination,..." Read more

6 customers mention "Strength"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's material awesome. They say it shows the strength of the self and the different dynamics.

"...And it really is indescribably good. There really is a non-troubled, seemingly external untainted Self in there. I felt it. Honest. Really...." Read more

"...This book is a reliable, straightforward set of instructions for transforming any unhealthy behavior or thought pattern, and releasing any unwanted..." Read more

"...It’s changing my life and lifting heavy weights that have kept me still and weighed down in life. I feel renewed in different ways...." Read more

"...any discomfort I felt was transformed into joy, relief, comfort, strength, a stronger sense of feeling alive...." Read more

4 customers mention "Power"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the system in the book incredibly powerful.

"...It's that powerful. Let this book change your life." Read more

"This is an awesome book and this system is incredibly powerful, as I’ve seen in my own life and in the lives of people who have been exposed to..." Read more

"...the specific step-by-step details for using a very complex and powerful model that will grow your emotional intelligence and help you learn self-..." Read more

"...Awesome system!" Read more

4 customers mention "Value for money"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book well worth the cost and say it's a great book to save on psychologist fees.

"...SO worth it! Much more useful than most of the self-help books I've read." Read more

"...👍🏼 He’s a great teacher👍🏼 This book is amazing value for the dollar..." Read more

"...Well worth the cost!" Read more

"Great book to save yourself psychologist fees!..." Read more

3 customers mention "Depth"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book very deep and exhaustive.

"...The book provides thorough explanations, examples, and exhaustive "what to do if this doesn't work" alternatives and solutions...." Read more

"...The IFS approach is very deep but can be done solo." Read more

"simple, easy to understand but very deep..." Read more

15 customers mention "Ease of use"9 positive6 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the ease of use of the book. Some mention it's wonderful, step-by-step, and a thorough introduction to IFS. However, others say it's not easy to do by oneself, and it's a fairly complex process.

"...This book is a reliable, straightforward set of instructions for transforming any unhealthy behavior or thought pattern, and releasing any unwanted..." Read more

"...One is that it is not so easy to be in Self as IFS writers describe...." Read more

"...But more importantly, IFS brought it home in a very natural and practical way. I applied the principle of seeing my pain as an IFS protector...." Read more

"...The book helps in the understanding but not so easy to do by oneself. There are too many components and variables...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2013
I think the book is excellent - I've already recommended it to numerous people. Internal Family Systems is the best thing I'm come across in the psych world in the course of reading a fair number of psych books in my 44 years, and this book by Earley does a great job of explaining it.

IFS is not the simplest thing in the world to explain in writing, yet the book nails it by combining clear illustrations, good organization and thoughtful writing. It also has numerous exercises you can do yourself. And a section of tips on doing IFS with a partner, and on working with a therapist.

The book is written to be accessible to the general public, which is the only broad-based introductory IFS book I know of yet that is in good measure written for the public (i.e. not written for therapists). It's largely written for the person who will be going through therapy or wants to practice IFS on their own or with a partner. I think even having the awareness of the concepts and info will help most people, even if they don't do the exercises.

The great thing about the above is it gives IFS a better chance of making a bigger impact on the world than is possible simply through therapists. There are only so many therapists, and only some know much IFS and relatively few have been trained in it, or are now slated to be trained.

Besides letting more people do it on their own, I think IFS therapists in general will benefit from it because I think a good number of people who read it and find IFS appealing will at some point in the upcoming years of their life will go to an IFS therapist to experience the added benefits of therapy or tackle harder things that need a therapist. Kind of like how the Grateful Dead became the highest grossing tour band in the U.S. because they let people record their concerts and share copies for free. More people got copies of the music, liked it and then went to concerts, bought t-shirts and bought CDs. The more people who are introduced to IFS through books like this, the more the average IFS therapist will have people knocking on their door looking to do it.

One small note is that while the tagline of the book mentions "healing your inner child," my impression is that according to IFS and to the author (Earley) and my own experience of myself, most people are healing several inner parts of themselves, including some adult parts that are not serving them well. While I don't care about sub-titles, I thought I would mention the above to clarify in case it's needed for anyone that this is not some half-baked new age book talking only about healing an inner child. As the first half of the tagline conveys, IFS works with all parts of our personality, and tries to get all aspects of who we are more healthy to better serve us. Healing the childish parts of us that are often unconscious is certainly an important part of the process, and the book is a multi-dimensional approach to those parts and other parts of who we are.

In case you haven't heard of IFS, it is a respected psychological system and is used primarily by licensed therapists and clinics, and recommended by many respected leaders in the field. The founder of it was the co-author of one of the best selling textbooks on marriage and family therapy used by universities, and who taught at one of the top schools in the country. It's not a passing fad and not a new-age gimmick with the aim of selling books. IFS is not family therapy - Schwartz used the systematic thinking common in family therapy to discover that we have our own internal set of sub-personalities or parts that combine to form who we are. Often some of the parts are on track and some are not, and need some assistance from us in coming to serve us better.

The book focuses on how you can learn what the parts of yourself are, how they operate, and how you can help them learn and mature to become better at serving you. Doing so takes time. Don't expect to read this book or any book, and have easy answers or have most things figured out just like that. It takes ongoing time and attention. My guess is that most people will need to read the book again in a year and delve deeper in the second time.

Overall, the writing in Self-Therapy is lucid and understandable, without dumbing down. I think the book would also be helpful to therapists looking for a strong intro to IFS, or to therapists who know some about IFS and want to know more. When you consider that the founder Richard Schwartz was able to help a lot of people when he first started doing IFS, and it was only part-way developed when he first started doing it and he had no book with lots of details explaining it to help him, I would assume that a high quality therapist could read this book and begin using some of the concepts in their practice.

If you click on my profile, you'll see that I'm a real person, and that I give things poor ratings as well as good ones, and that I don't often give something such a strong review.

If you stumbled across this book while surfing the net, I strongly recommend you plop down the small cost to get it. It might well change your life. And at the least, I think almost all people will get at least $15 of value from it, enough to be worth the cost. It's very rare that I find a book I can say that about.
132 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2020
Well....first of all, before I say anything, a 5-Star rating just has to be awarded to this book. Wow, Jay has really covered the subject masterfully, you couldn’t really ask for more of an author. So thank you Jay for working through the writing of this, it seems as though it must have taken a lot of careful effort to do so.

And so on to my personal reflections....first, I’d like to say that IFS is paradoxically amazing. Why paradoxically? Because the model could so easily be accused of being a big placebo, silliness really, no science, make believe, etc. And yet, no - it really does have a power and an efficacy like nothing else I’ve ever encountered in the world of psychological therapy. For a as yet mysterious reason, it really does work. But yes, if you’re a logical scientific skeptic you may feel yourself needing to just give in to the imagery and allow your rational mind to step back from analysis...which will in return allow you to experience a much different and more effective form of understanding your internal and even external problems. So this is really something powerful and fascinating.

First of all, one begins with the puzzling question of the ontology of sub-personalities. As if reading Jung, one can doubt that any collective unconscious exists doubt that there is any validity whatsoever to archetypes....and yet it does seem to give us a model to make sense of the inner mysteries of the mind....since there really is no firmly established theory of mind nor of the nature of consciousness, one may as well go ahead and give room for a Jungian landscape of animate entities within.

From here, through several generations of psychological theory, we get to IFS. Your feelings and drives and opinions and emotions are not merely neural firings of electrons but rather cohesive sub-personalities with each it’s own intentionality and agency, affecting you in myriad ways. One might understand this in parallel with studies of the ego structures, which have powerful influence over the reality we presume ourselves to be immersed in. And yet these are no more than provisional mental structures, beyond a Self can conceivably exist.

Take this to a more literal level and you arrive at IFS. Your inner family is quasi-literal, a community of protectors and injured exiles hiding within who mean well but cause us constant strife and pain until they are re-educated by the loving non judgemental true Self of Buddhism (or Hinduism - the Altman). Once this unfettered and healthy seat of consciousness is identified and made the central orchestrator of your life the parts gradually “unblend” (step back) and allow healing to occur by the very proactive leadership of this wise and loving Self.

Still with me....it’s really quite something, but I must say this: I was never able to experience a moment of higher consciousness in my half century life until I had an IFS session with a therapist...and then I did. And it really is indescribably good. There really is a non-troubled, seemingly external untainted Self in there. I felt it. Honest. Really. I experienced it. It happened.

So, if you just read this and never experienced it it can seem like silly talk, but give in to it, try it yourself of with a therapist, and watch how immensely useful it becomes to you.

Now, finally, just like my review, the words go on and on and on. It is a giant model and will take a lot of time and work to internalize and gain traction with. There are steps and processes and intuitions and meditations and and and .....huh. It can get really tiring. But I would just have to say, it’s worth the effort.

If you’ve been plowing though self help and psychological spiritual readings for years and feeling still somehow stuck...

Turn to this. Really. Try it. It’s different because it really does work. And by the way the language is all common every day easy to understand. No obscure Pali scriptures or lofty abstractions.

Done.
49 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

DanDoherty
5.0 out of 5 stars I am totally impressed
Reviewed in Canada on November 21, 2022
I am probably worst case scenario. I had TBI and complex PTSD. For many years have done CBT and also something that works like EMDR but much more powerful. This IFS system seemed to have solved the problem that was causing my worst trigger. I have been fighting that trigger my entire life and within a week I believe I have found the cure. Of course I will continue applying this most insightful therapy.
Pauline
4.0 out of 5 stars Best price for this book online
Reviewed in Sweden on August 28, 2022
I don’t usually buy books from Amazon since we have several good online bookstores in Sweden but this was the best price I could find for this book and with a fast delivery.
Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Complete guide to wholeness
Reviewed in India on June 15, 2022
An eye opening book. A must read. I feel blessed to encounter this book. Thankyou so much for this amazing book.😇
Graham Mummery
5.0 out of 5 stars Using the Creative Immagination to Heal
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 31, 2019
I was recommended this book as an introduction to a therapeutic technique known as IFS (Internal Family Systems) devised by the therapist Richard Schwartz. This draws and develops on ideas from the likes of Jungian Psychology, Gestalt, Psychosynthesis and John Rowan taking them in a new direction. Readers aware of the concepts of sub-personalities and visualisation will be on home ground.

Yet for all that, many therapists will find what is on show in this book will be useful in dealing with resistances to healing. If this is strange to some, it is something that often happens in therapy. It is, as Jungian analyst Donald Kalsched amongst others, a part of the psyche often protecting another part from further suffering. In IFS these parts are named protectors and exiles, and they manifest as personalities. For my money this is the best book I have come across about resistances and how to deal with them.

One of the thing that gives this credence is the way the author Jay Earley approaches his matter. There are thorough descriptions of the ideas with drawings, diagrams and pictures. It also does not pretend everything displayed is easy. Indeed there are sections on how to deal with some difficulties The book itself is structured as a self-help manual with pointers to work books that the interested reader can download to follow and structure the exercises contained in the book, together in with the reminder that it may be necessary to work these with a trained therapist.

Taken as a whole it is hard to think that a book like this could be better prepared. As a therapist, I have used some of these exercises both on myself and other clients. This is both a fascinating and useful book for therapists and general readers alike. I will be exploring further other books by this author and of course the aforementioned Richard Schwartz.
2 people found this helpful
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Clear and well organized
Reviewed in France on November 9, 2018
I'm giving a five stars both to the IFS therapy and this book. It is very well formatted. There are many repetitions but they never feel like too much. On the contrary, they really drive home the concepts. I've read the second volume and it is a very useful addition to this one.