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Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think Paperback – May 8, 2012

by Bryan Caplan (Author)

78 ratings

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In Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids, contrarian economist Bryan Caplan argues that we've needlessly turned parenting into an unpleasant chore, and don't know the real plusses and minuses of having kids. Parents today spend more time investing in their kids than ever, but twin and adoption research shows that upbringing is much less important than we imagine, especially in the long-run. Kids aren't like clay that parents mold for life; they're more like flexible plastic that pops back to its original shape once you relax your grip. These revelations are wonderful news for anyone with kids. Being a great parent is less work and more fun than you think—so instead of struggling to change your children, you can safely relax and enjoy your journey together. Raise your children in the way that feels right for you; they'll still probably turn out just fine. Indeed, as Caplan strikingly argues, modern parents should have more kids. Parents who endure needless toil and sacrifice are overcharging themselves for every child. Once you escape the drudgery and worry that other parents take for granted, bringing another child into the world becomes a much better deal. You might want to stock up.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Chattanooga Times Free Press
“In a nutshell, Caplan believes that parents put too much pressure on themselves to raise perfect children, when there is very little evidence that hyper-parenting does much good and plenty of evidence that it does harm by stressing parents out.... [M]ost kids just need a calm house with parents who love them, he says. Deep down, most of us know that. And once you release yourself from the drudgery of perfect parenting, your kids will relax and probably flourish, too.”

National Review
“Even if Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids won't actually convince people to have more kids, it serves as both a brief and remarkably well-written introduction to genetic research, and a guide book for easier parenting. The Tiger Mothers of the world would be well served by reading it.”

Steve Silver, movie critic for The American Conservative
“[A] delightful book, breezy in prose style, but reasonably rigorous in its handling of the nature-nurture statistics.”

Tyler Cowen, Holbert C. Harris Professor of Economics, George Mason University
“This is one of the best books on parenting, ever. It will bring life into the world, knowledge to your mind, and joy into your heart.”

Judith Rich Harris, author of The Nurture Assumption and No Two Alike
“A lively, witty, thoroughly engrossing book. Bryan Caplan looks at parenting from the viewpoint of an economist, as well as a father. His conclusions may surprise you but he has the data to back them up.”

Robert Plomin, Medical Research Council Research Professor at the Institute of Psychiatry
“I loved this book. Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids should be required reading for parents—as it will be for my children, who are now having their own kids and getting caught up in the more-work, less-fun traps of parenting covered here. And as a geneticist, I can report that Bryan Caplan has the facts right. Even better, he interprets those facts in a way that will change our view of parenting.”

Reason
“Economist Brian Caplan: Kids can be cheaper than you think...so maybe you want more of them than you think you want. He makes the case for this controversial proposition at length in his fascinating and well-argued new book Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think.”

Tim Harford, author of The Undercover Economist and Adapt
“Provocative, fascinating, and utterly original, Bryan Caplan's book overturns the conventional wisdom about why parenting matters.”

Wall Street Journal
“Despite its wickedly subversive premise, Mr. Caplan's book is cheery and intellectually honest.... And the bedrock of his argument is solid: Modern parenting is insane. Children do not need most of what we buy them. So, yes, the “price” of children is artificially high.... The best argument for children isn't that they will make you happy or your life fun but that parenthood provides purpose for a well-lived life.”

Motoko Rich, New York Times
“Mr. Caplan, who has already been dubbed the ‘Un-Tiger Mom,' writes, ‘While healthy, smart, happy, successful, virtuous parents tend to have matching offspring, the reason is largely nature, not nurture.'.... His argument may be refreshing in an era of competitive preschool admissions and hyperactive extracurricular schedules.”

Fabio Rojas, OrgTheory.net, Associate Professor of Sociology at Indiana University
“Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids is a new book by economist and blogger Bryan Caplan. It makes a simple argument of extreme importance: you should probably have more children. Though this book is written by an economist, it's not another cute-o-nomics pop text. It's a serious book about family planning that's based on his reading of child development, psychology, genetics, economics, and other fields. It's about one of life's most important decisions, and this is what social scientists should be thinking about.”

Kirkus Reviews
“[T]he author's mission is noble—encouraging individuals to parent two or more children.”

Steven Pinker, Harvard College Professor of Psychology, Harvard University, and author of How the Mind Works and The Blank Slate
“Original, lively, well-researched, and wise, this book could change your life.”

Lenore Skenazy, author of the book and blog, Free-Range Kids
“Imagine this: Parenting doesn't HAVE to be a chore. Your kids are safer than you think, smarter than you think and besides—you have less influence than you think! So sit back, relax, and read this book with your newfound free time. The sanity you save may be your own.”

About the Author

Bryan Caplan is an Associate Professor of Economics at George Mason University and an adjunct scholar of the Cato Institute. Caplan is also blogger and editor for EconLog, one of the Wall Street Journal's Top 25 Economics Blogs. His first book, The Myth of the Rational Voter was named “the best political book of the year” by the New York Times, and made the Financial Times list of the Best Books of 2007. In addition, he has written articles for a variety of publications including the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Wall Street Journal. He lives in Oakton, Virginia, with his wife and their three children.

Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Basic Books; First Trade Paper Edition edition (May 8, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0465028616
ISBN-13: 978-0465028610
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 78 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #272,505 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #4591 in Parenting (Books)
- #347 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books)

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Customer reviews

78 customer reviews

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James B.

What's amazing is the change in the typical mother's workload

January 25, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

American moms spend more time taking care of kids today than they did in the 1960's. This is perhaps the most surprising of many bold but well-backed claims in economist Bryan Caplan's book Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids.

"According to time diaries, modern parents spend an incredible amount of time taking care of their kids. As expected, dads do a lot more than they used to. Since 1965, when the average dad did only three hours of child care per week, we've more than doubled our efforts. Given how little dads used to do, though, doubling wasn't hard. What's amazing is the change in the typical mother's workload: Today's mom spends more time taking care of children than she did in the heydey of the stay-at-home mom [13 hours/week vs 10]."

The major argument of the book, backed up by many twin and adoption studies, is that parenting matters much less than we think- at least as far as children's long-term outcomes are concerned. A lot of kids' outcomes seem to be determined by factors outside parents' control; the biggest way parents do influence their kids long-term outcomes is through genetics. Adopted kids generally end up with education, income, IQ, and many other outcomes being much more similar to their biological parents than their adoptive parents.

In turn, Caplan draws two main conclusions from this argument. One, lay off the tiger parenting, since all it accomplishes is to make kids miserable. Two, for those who do want to influence their kids: "The most effective way to get the kind of kids you want is to pick a spouse who has the traits you want your kids to have."

26 people found this helpful

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Bruce Morton

I really enjoyed this book

August 1, 2018

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I really enjoyed this book. As a parent of 4 I feel liberated to not stress about not doing everything I should be doing with my kids. The most valuable thing I learned here is that I should just have fun with my kids and show them love and attention.
I'm giving this book 4 stars because I wish that this book was more of a "parenting for libertarians" than a call for having more kids. I totally agree with the idea of having more, but I think Bryan pounded on that point a little too much.
The first ~60% of the book provides great details, and data to support the idea that parenting has very limited effect on long term outcomes. Bryan comes at the topic at every possible angle and systematically destroys all conventional wisdom about how to raise children to be healthy, happy, and successful.
If you are a parent or interact with parents, this book provides great information that will blow their minds. I love to tell people what I've learned in this book.

7 people found this helpful

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Christopher J Finlayson

Read the intro

November 3, 2019

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Their are some interesting ideas this book. Twin studies show genetics matter much more than nurture, so parents spend too much time worrying about things they can’t control. Parenting effects can make a short term impact, but fade entirely later in life. Parents should consider their own happiness when making decisions about how they spend time with their children. Kids are safer now than they have ever been. If you focus on the pain of raising children in the first few years, you’ll have fewer than you’ll want later in life. These ideas, however are effectively communicated in the intro. The book reads like a very very long Medium article and would be better off as a 15 minute read in that format. I started skimming chapters before giving up entirely half way through.

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Hay Seed

A spash of cold water... on the Tiger Moms

December 13, 2011

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Parents expend vast amounts of effort trying to mold their kids; all for naught. While nurture (parenting) matters in the short run, nature (behavioral genetics) has the final say.

Parenting efforts will have little impact in many areas: Happiness (it has a biological set-point), IQ (adoption gains disappear by adulthood), character (Wow!!), education (museum visits won't help), and more. Nurture matters most in how fondly your kids will remember you. They'll recall the good times and their parents' love and kindness. This is true of children in their 70s and 80s.

Freakonomics put together a terrific podcast on the parenting styles of economists. While agreeing with Caplan, even they couldn't stop themselves from over-scheduling and over-enriching their own children.

Caplan finds many reasons to procreate. Large families are cheaper than ever. Technology makes parenting easier. And money can buy happiness: a part-time nanny, for instance. Furthermore, most parental worry is unnecessary; kids today are 4 times safer than they were in the "idyllic" 1950s.

Caplan's take-away message is apropos an economist: A FREE LUNCH can be had by ending the hyper-parenting. Drop the stuff (piano, ballet) that you and your kids dislike. Instead, enjoy your time together.

The book just barely earns 4 stars. It's a bit dry. And the format is untidy; with headings and sub-headings haphazardly placed. A final thought: If you read Tiger Mother, you MUST read this.

17 people found this helpful

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Sven

Heartwarming and insightful

June 16, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Great read for parents and prospective parents. The former to learn how to be a better parent through a more relaxed approach to parenting; the latter to convince you that it's not so bad - and perhaps you should have more kids than you think.

5 people found this helpful

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Wyatt Andersen

Read it!

August 29, 2019

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Look, you're going to hear, read, and see a lot about how hard parenting is and how much work it is.

You might as well read one alternative take that says it's actually not that bad and it's probably going to be ok.

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Pages with related products. See and discover other items: london for kids, science fun

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