<Embed>

Buy New

$17.88

List Price: $22.95
Save: $5.07 (22%)

FREE Shipping on orders over $25.

In Stock.

Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Turn on 1-Click ordering for this browser

Want it Tuesday, July 25? Order within and choose Two-Day Shipping at checkout. Details

Ship to:

Select a shipping address:

Added to

Unable to add item to List. Please try again.

Sell yours for a Gift Card
We'll buy it for $7.76
Learn More
Trade in now

Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon

Flip to back Flip to front

Listen Playing... Paused You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more

See all 4 images

Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook Paperback – March 3, 2013

by Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer (Author), Lance Jackson (Cover Design), Rickard Gagner (Contributor)

46 customer reviews

See all 3 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions

Price

New from

Used from

Kindle

"Please retry"

$3.99

—

Paperback

"Please retry"

$17.88

$13.67

This is the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits. Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending. Semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters and adds a personal touch to any cocktail. The connoisseur will appreciate learning how to mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavors of semen. The book provides useful tips that cover every detail of Semenology, from mixing and presentation to harvesting and storage advice.

Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook

$17.88 FREE Shipping on orders over $25. In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Frequently bought together

Total price: $38.90

Buy the selected items together

This item:Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook by Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer Paperback $17.88
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
FREE Shipping on orders over $25. Details
Images You Should Not Masturbate To by Graham Johnson Paperback $9.93
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
FREE Shipping on orders over $25. Details
A Practical Guide to Racism by C. H. Dalton Paperback $11.09
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
FREE Shipping on orders over $25. Details

Customers who bought this item also bought

Page 1 of 1 Start overPage 1 of 1

This shopping feature will continue to load items. In order to navigate out of this carousel please use your heading shortcut key to navigate to the next or previous heading.

Graham Johnson

331

Paperback
$9.93
C. H. Dalton

197

Paperback
$11.09
Master Sugoi

34

Paperback
$13.32
Adrienne N Hew CN

318

Paperback
$13.46
Eric Grzymkowski

79

Paperback
$7.54
Sam Stall

251

Board book
$9.34

Editorial Reviews

Review

Mentions in media

"What's the latest craze that takes the cake as far as bizarre palate pleasers? Cocktails made with semen" - NewsOne

"He made semen-eating seem, if not reasonable, at least mostly harmless. And then there are the photos, which give a new dimension to the term 'food porn.' " - SF Weekly

"We're pretty sure every man could use some tips on semen presentation, but the best part of the book has got to be the drinks' names." - Phoenix New Times

From the Author

Featured recipe
Heavenly Cognac

It is almost a shame to add anything to a good quality cognac, anything, that is, except for semen. However, my first attempts at perfecting the blending of these two heavenly fluids were disappointing. I found, as is often the case, that simplicity is best. Splashing the semen into the well-filled glass is an entertaining way to serve cognac.

2 oz of the finest cognac you can afford

1 tsp Semen

I found that it is best to first allow the semen to just begin to melt, at the initial stage of melting. This takes a few minutes. If the semen is unusually thick, quickly dilute with a few drops of water. Splash the semen into the cognac and enjoy.

Surprisingly, I have found that unlike cognac that grows better with age, Heavenly Cognac tastes best when made with the seminal fluids of a younger producer.

See all Editorial Reviews

If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle Edition for FREE. Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. .

Product details

Paperback: 56 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform; 1 edition (March 3, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1482605228
ISBN-13: 978-1482605228
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.1 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 4.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (46 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #390,538 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #336 in Books > Cookbooks, Food & Wine > Beverages & Wine > Cocktails & Mixed Drinks

If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support?

Customer reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars

5 star		56%
4 star		17%
3 star		11%
2 star		7%
1 star		9%

Write a customer review

See all verified purchase reviews

Top customer reviews

!!!WARNING!!! This book ruined my life!

ByFred Hillchestershiresmithwyckon February 1, 2014

Format: Paperback

It all started out innocent enough. A few teaspoons here and there. Nothing serious. All my friends were doing it. It seemed like so much fun and who could deny how great it felt and tasted?

But pretty soon it was in all my drinks. Then my food. Then it WAS my food. Stroking strangers in thruway rest stops, sometimes 10 or 11 in a day, just to keep myself supplied with the creamy demon. Eventually I couldn't get off by eating or drinking it at all.

You promise yourself the first time you smoke it that you'll never spike. Only addicts spike. You're just having fun, could stop anytime. That doesn't last long, those promises are forgotten in semen soaked flophouses, rubber tubing tied to your arm. Waking up dry and desperate... sucking the mattresses. It got bad. Real bad.

But I've turned my life around. 14 months clean today. You wouldn't believe the stories I hear at the meetings. Hell, you wouldn't believe half the stories I tell. So don't do it. Don't get started. Trust me, it can happen to you.

33 comments 306 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Fun to Read!

ByJudy A. Huffmanon June 25, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

The only recipe book that I enjoy reading!

0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNo

Hilarious as a gag gift....I hope thats why it was made

ByPam Williamson January 3, 2016