- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: Hatala Geroproducts (May 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1933167424
- ISBN-13: 978-1933167428
- Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 6 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
- Average Customer Review: 9 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,327,310 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Seniors in Love: A Second Chance for Single, Divorced, and Widowed Seniors Paperback – May, 2005
The Amazon Book Review
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
It's high time someone exploded the myth that only the young fall in love. This book tells the truth. --Dick Van Dyke, Emmy- and Tony-award winning television, film, and theater legend (from back cover)
A wonderful, timely, and understanding book. --Art Linkletter, Emmy-award winning television legend and author of Old Age is Not For Sissies (from back cover)
A philosophical and supportive guide to loving again in old age. --Dr. Ruth Harriet Jacobs, author of Be and Outrageous Older Woman and ABC's for Seniors (from back cover)
About the Author
“Sometimes I think I made a mistake,” Robert Wolley says. “When I graduated from college I became the minister of a New England church which paid $3,600 per year. Out in California master masons were earning $30,000 a year. But I chose another way and augmented my income by writing. In graduate school I wrote magazine articles, D.J. scripts, even court papers; later I would write featured newspaper editorials and a weekly newspaper column. Eventually I did a lot of ghost writing. Perhaps laying words on words was a kind of masonry “There’s no way to equate dollars with intangible rewards, but one reward of inestimable worth, whether in my ministries or through my counseling, working with adults and children and their families, has been to be let into someone’s life and to have that person or family say, ‘You made a difference.’” Wolley had ministries in New York and Massachusetts and left the parish ministry to become the Director of Extension for the Universalist Church of America and later the Unitarian Universalist Association. His insights into the field of sociology of religion led to interim lectureships at several universities here and in Europe, and eventually to counseling institutional and industrial leaders, often dealing with interpersonal relationships and thus with individual managers’ personal concerns. “I was prepared for the role of ‘pastoral counseling,’” Wolley says. “And when I became a city’s designated ‘counselor-of-choice,’ I was prepared for that. But later, when dealing with management leaders, I was not fully prepared for what often became a concern: an individual manager’s personal situation. ‘My husband/wife and I . . .’; ‘I don’t understand my son/daughter’; ‘I can’t communicate with . . . ‘ – family issues, including marriage problems, that affected one’s day-to-day job. “Additionally, since I worked in the Deep South for two or three months each year, there were intense racial questions and great anguish. It was hard to disguise my Boston accent in Georgia, the Carolinas, Florida, Alabama, and Mississippi, yet I had to deal with both blacks and whites. In the late 1950s and 1960s it was difficult to establish trust. I was not always successful. “The times were difficult for many people, although not more so than other times in history. There was a lot going on that impacted individuals and society and a great need for understanding counseling. “The whole counseling bit began almost by accident. My first year in a Boston area college I worked a couple of afternoons and on Sundays as a youth leader in a large suburban church. A graduate student I knew worked in a Boston youth center. One night he was stabbed as he left the center. He quit his job. I applied for it and became the late weekday afternoon and evening activities director of a Boston youth center. I was a kind of counselor – without training or education, a perfect example of the ‘blind leading the blind.’ “So when I changed schools, I took every psychology and sociology course I could manage to work into my schedule and was fortunate to obtain psychology internships that greatly broadened my insights and skills – and, of course, such skills as I had were put to work almost immediately. Such work eventually took me from a part-time parish and an internship in a New York state mental hospital to two full-time parishes and a counseling role and later to businesses, to the public schools, and a Massachusetts prison – and throughout into the lives of parishioners, troubled citizens, public school children, and their families. “It is that background which allows me to write about a senior issue with which I dealt many times, as have other counselors and psychologists, but which has received little or no attention (in the hope, I guess, it will either go away or that by ignoring it, it will disappear): the concern for and about senior romance and love. “In my senior years, by people who kne
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Two things this book is not. First, this is not a sex guide, a "how-to-do-it" manual for the elderly. In every bookstore there are shelves full ofguides for those who need help (or a refresher course for those unsure of themselves) if "doin' what comes nacherly" doesn't happen. The fact of sexual activity is recognized in this book, but mostly that recognition deals with mutually achieved attitudes about sexual events;
sexual techniques are absent. Second, this book is not a guide for dealing with the
loss of a loved partner either by death or separation (that is, divorce). We ... are widowed or separated. In no way are the two the same; only the situation in which we find ourselves is common: we are without love and loving partners. And we think we have found or might find someone who might become that loved and loving parter.
I lent a copy to a friend, who said it gave her confidence that it was normal to want romance again. In large-enough-to-read type.
It's the question that is on the hearts of many. But thankfully it is the focus of several really good books that have come out recently, including Seniors in Love, Dr. Ruth's Sex After 50, Seasoned Romance, and Grandpa Does Grandma.
The answer is definitely yes. And as Arletta says in the wonderful Chapter 10 of Seasoned Romance, "Love is truly lovelier the second time around." It's deeper than mere words to a song.
Sure, there are challenges. Yes, there are even pitfalls. But it's absolutely normal to want romance. Not only is it normal, but it is worth every challenge and pitfall to find love and experience lovemaking again.