A couple of weeks ago I finally got hold of something I had been looking for since a year ago, a book you wouldn't believe: "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man", by Isaac Asimov (writing as "Dr. A").
Like I said, you wouldn't believe it. One of the people who had recommended the book to me thought that my web site ...was inspired by it, and I don't blame him. It is written almost 30 years ago, and it is philosophically so similar to DOMAI.com that I was shocked, but very pleasantly so.
Isaac Asimov was one of our great authors, and had published over 400 books on science, science fiction, and numerous other subjects. He was a respected scientist and the president of Mensa. The Sensuous Dirty Old Man is a small book, out of print unfortunately, and it is not only a sane and wonderful look on being a DOM, but also funny as heck.
The book describes how Dirty Old Manhood is something high and honourable that one should aspire to, in order not to become that pitiful creature, the Clean Old Man (like for example president Nixon).
It does take courage, sensitivity, and a lot of practice, but with enough intention and hard work, one might become a Dirty Old Man at a very young age.
The very famous quote: "Sex is dirty, if you do it right" is from this book.
Asimov tells us that the most important tool the Dirty Old Man has is his eyes. Eyes are for use. When you look at a woman with a brief, stolen glance, you are insulting her beauty. He says: "Don't peep at girls, STARE!"
A Dirty Old Man is far more attractive to women than young men, because of his sophistication and experience, his wisdom and his honesty.
From The Sensuous Dirty Old Man:
===
Let us imagine that you are a dirty old man but are dedicated to keeping it a secret because you are a bank vice-president and are interested in exuding an odor of sanctity so that no one will notice, until it is too late, that you are preparing to abscond [run away].
Now a lovely girl walks past you with a dress whose neckline is generously loose and under which there is clearly and obviously no bra. What do you do?
What you do is roll your eyes briefly in their sockets with the eyelashes lowered so that no one will see what you are doing. The result? You don't see anything at all, except perhaps for one flash of quiver that is far more upsetting than sating.
And what is the girl's reaction? She sees that flicker of eye even if no one else does (since she's watching for it) and despises you as a rotten little coward. You see that look of contempt in her eye (for it goes through you like an ice pick) and your self-esteem is shattered. Indeed, there is a very good chance that the girl will instantly realize that a man who would look at her with so miserably sidelong a glance is a man who would abscond with every cent of the banks property and she will inform on you at once.
But suppose you are not only a dirty old man, but are proud of it, too, and suppose the same girl walks by in the same condition. Now it is possible to be joyous and open. You can emit a melodious whistle or a snort of pleasure. You can stare openly. You can walk over to get a closer view. You can address the girl in friendly fashion.
And how does the girl react? She is pleased that she has created such an obvious stir in a gentleman of such substantial and prosperous appearance. She realizes that you agree with her own opinion of herself and this can't help but impress her with the excellence of your taste.
Seeing in you a person whom she can respect, she will think, "What a nice, gentlemanly old man," and will smile at you. From that to a friendly word or two is but a step, and from that to a pat on the cheek or some slight pressure on the upper arm is but another.
You own self-esteem will shoot up and if you are the vice-president of a bank, you will be so buoyed up by all the this that you will go right to your office and put back all the money. This is only one example of many I can cite in which being an open and honest dirty old man is an enormous aid to public morality.
[... and from later in the book:]
Oliver Wendell Holmes, the great Supreme Court Justice, in his last years (he lived to be ninety-four), was walking down Pennsylvania Avenue with a friend, when a pretty girl passed. As all dirty old men must, especially when the dignity of the Supreme Court is at stake, Holmes turned to look after her. Having done so, he sighed and said to his friend, "Ah, George, what wouldn't I give to be seventy-five again?"
===
Isaac Asimov tells us that after the eyes, the verbal skills of a Dirty Old Man is his most important tools, so he better can give compliments to the girl to let her know how beautiful she is.
So you see, fellows, we are not alone, and have never been. The wisest men up through history have always been Dirty Old Men as well.
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Hilarious book by favorite author.
Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2008
This book is just delightful. Distinguished scientist and sci-fi author Asimov surely had a load of fun preparing this book. Thorough instructions on why one has a duty to become a dirty old man and how to become one. This book also presents an inspiring run-down of historical dirty old men, including role models from Marc Anthony to Aaron Burr and Jonathon Swift on to supreme court justices such as Oliver Wendell Holmes and many others. The full page B&W photo portraits of the dirty old men represented seem to be chosen for their leering qualities. A real treasure.
Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2008
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