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Setting Boundaries® with Difficult People: Six Steps to SANITY for Challenging Relationships Paperback – October 1, 2011

4.3 out of 5 stars 52 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Setting Boundaries with Difficult People provides excellent insight and step-by-step action for every reader. I highly recommend this book. In fact, you should probably buy at least two of them―one for yourself and one to give to someone else. It is that good.”
Terry Whalin, publisher, editor, and writer



“Allison Bottke has written a helpful and inspiring book on how to live with and manage difficult relationships at home, at work, and in our community. We all have people in our lives who challenge us, and yet God loves them as much as he loves us! So the task is to be kind, loving, grace-filled, and firm about how we wish to be treated. After reading this book you'll be well-equipped to do all of these things.”
Karen O'Connor, author of Gettin' Old Ain't for Wimps and The Upside of Downsizing



Setting Boundaries with Difficult People by Allison Bottke is an easy-to-read, encouraging book for those dealing with near-to-impossible situations and relationships in life that strain us beyond measure. Filled with heart-catching insight (you'll see yourself and your own situation here!), this helpful book brings ‘S-a-n-i-t-y’ to the situation and offers deeply spiritual and down-to-earth, practical advice for handling the tough-but-tender relationships in life. I am pleased to heartily recommend it―and any other publication by this wonderful Christian writer.”
Peggie Bohanon, Founder, Peggie's Place Ministry, PeggiesPlace.com

About the Author

Allison Bottke is the award-winning author of the acclaimed Setting Boundaries® series, which includes Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, Setting Boundaries with Your Aging Parents, Setting Boundaries with Difficult People, Setting Boundaries with Food, Setting Boundaries for Women, and The Young Women’s Guide to Setting Boundaries. She is the founder of the SANITY Support Group, an outreach based on the Setting Boundaries® series (more than 150,000 sold). Her other books include the God Answers Prayers series, and she is the founder and general editor of more than a dozen volumes in the popular God Allows U-Turns® anthology. She has written or edited more than 30 nonfiction and fiction books, and is a frequent guest on national radio and TV programs. Allison lives in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

www.settingboundariesbooks.com

Awards

Winner of the Selah Award for Best Book of the Year for Setting Boundaries with Food in 2013

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (October 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0736926968
  • ISBN-13: 978-0736926966
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #98,333 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I understand my headline is a bold statement that I found in Allison Bottke's SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE. On page 13, she writes, "We must keep on facing the challenges presented by the difficult people God has placed in our paths. Doing so we can save our lives--at least emotionally if not physically. Difficult people can harm us is we don't have a strategy to deal with them."

Unless you live in complete isolation as a hermit (and who does?), you have some difficult people in your life (family, co-workers, professional colleagues, friends, or you-name-it). In easy-to-understand straight-forward teaching, Bottke gives readers critical relationship tools. In the opening pages, Bottke explains, "The primary goal of this book is to help you identify the role you play in your relationships with difficult people and empower you t make new choices--choices that will bring freedom and forever change the story of your life regardless of whether the difficult people around you ever change one iota." (Page 12)

SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE provides excellent insight and step-by-step action for every reader. I highly recommend this book. In fact, you should probably buy at least two of them--one for yourself and one to give to someone else. It is that good.
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Format: Paperback
Allison Bottke's "Setting Boundaries" series, and its helpful steps to restoring SANITY to our lives, is a Godsend. Literally. I've already mentioned on my blog that her Setting Boundaries with Adult Children is a book I buy multiple copies of to give away. It's that helpful, and the need for it is that widespread.

I think the same is true of Setting Boundaries with Difficult People. EVERYBODY deals with difficult people. Angry people. Unhappy people. Demanding, cynical, critical people. And the more such people populate (and perhaps pollute) your life, the more Allison's book can help you preserve--or restore--your sanity.
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I cant believe I wasted my money on this book. The author did make many references to the bible and Christian philosophy, but I am usually fine with that. I have read Dr. Cloud's boundary book and liked that a lot. Most of the words in his book were his and only a handful of bible references. But this book was completely packed full of references to Dr. Laura's books and to other people's books. If I wanted to read one of Dr. Laura's books (which I 100% do not) then I would have bought her book. I wanted to read this author's words. But this book is crammed full of references to her favorite author's works. And the bible references make up a huge chunk of this book. If you are not a Christian you might want to look for a different book on boundaries. There are many out there much better than this one.
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I now have read all three of her "Setting Boundaries" books...all three are excellent. Her other two ("Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children" and "Setting Boundaries with Your Aging Parents") are obviously more specific in theme and I encourage you to read whichever one fits your situation if practical, but this one is a definite read, encompassing any relationship that is challenging, whether w/n your family, neighborhood, work, social networks and even church.

I also like that she quotes other authors, which
can give you even more back-up to read when done with her book.

I have implemented several of her ideas over the past few months, and they work. I feel stronger and am more respectful of myself, as well as other's boundaries.

I intend to do a book study with a small group from church using this book or the "Adult Children" one. The information is life-changing.
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The author of this book really does put a lot of thought into the subject and helps in shedding light on things from a different perspective. I liked that it helped affirm positive resolutions to conflicts you could be having with the "difficult" people in your life in a respectable manner. What I didn't like so much is that there a lot of strict Christian beliefs intertwined with her device, but I ended up adapting that to my personal beliefs so it worked out. If you are looking for a book that leaves religion out, this wouldn't be the book for you. All in all, it did meet my expectations, it was an easy read, helped me manage interactions with a few tough people, but there is no mind boggling epiphany that's going to happen.
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When I got this book I assumed that it contained suggestions from psychological perspective. I wish it said on the cover of the book that it is based on the author's interpretation of the teachings of Jesus, which I feel leaves something to be desired.

The book contains the mixture of good ideas for setting healthy boundaries mixed with a heavy doses of "it's Satan's fault" or "Satan will make you think this" "this is what Jesus or God meant" when he said such and such and this is what he wants you to do. If you want to know what God wants you to do or what Jesus wants you to do, why not ask God or Jesus or read the Bible and follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

In one part of the book she quotes Jesus saying "You should love God with all your heart, mind, body and soul", and again appropriately points out that love is the essence of the Bible. In the Bible it also says that "who says that he loves God and doesn't love his neighbor (a fellow human beings) is a liar". In another part she quotes Proverbs "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" - but this time not in the spirit of love which is the essence of the Bible, but in the spirit of fear. The guarding of heart is from fear and from lack of faith - because he who loves God with all his heart, mind, body and soul, would be filled with love and faith, and would have no fear in his heart.

She again quotes what the scripture teaches about love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
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