- Paperback: 271 pages
- Publisher: Harmony; 1 edition (May 16, 1999)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0609805797
- ISBN-13: 978-0609805794
- Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
- Average Customer Review: 914 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,177 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $4.99 shipping
+ $4.99 shipping
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert Paperback – May 16, 2000
|New from||Used from|
There is a newer edition of this item:
Customers who bought this item also bought
What other items do customers buy after viewing this item?
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic." ---Newsweek
Browse award-winning titles. See more
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
most relationship books are based on a lot of theory of principles, but this books actually approaches relationship from a more science observation perspective. there are more statistics and numbers presented in this book than others.
this is a great book for couples and something i strongly recommend to all my married friends.
The author has actually done years of research, carefully observing and recording the interactions of married couples, and so he bases his views not on what common sense would tell you , but on what actually happens when couples interact. It is not just about about lots of sad marriage stories. He tells you first, the hallmark signs of the marriages that will split and those that will weather it, not just vague ideas, but specifically what will produce a divorce. Then he also tells you what will keep a marriage together.
There are a number of exercises for a couple, to give some feedback specifically for the reader. There are a lot of them, one after each chapter, so probably you don't want to do them all. But its a great jump off point for a couple to get going on his theories. There is no ONE book that can pinpoint human behavior , especially not for two different people. But this one shows some empirical basis for his ideas, and for that reason, it sets it apart. Definitely worth reading.