- Paperback: 271 pages
- Publisher: Harmony; 1 edition (May 16, 1999)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0609805797
- ISBN-13: 978-0609805794
- Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 914 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #23,920 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert Paperback – May 16, 2000
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From the Inside Flap
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
From the Back Cover
"An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent--and long-lasting--
marriage." Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
"Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus."
Bill Marvel and Geoffrey Norman, American Way
"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic." Newsweek
"Twenty-five years of landmark marital research."
-- USA Today
"Offers something every relationship can benefit from."
-- Seattle Post-Intelligencer
"Astonishing new research!"
-- Woman's World
"Debunks many myths about divorce . . . reveals surprising facts . . . enlightening!"
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That's why I recommend reading <i>Seven Principles</i> with a highlighter in hand. You can mark the passages in which Gottman gives specific advice/instruction so that when you revisit the book you can quickly skip over the filler. (The filler consists of examples and discussion of how research methods. You really only need to read those parts once. Identifying the applicable parts of the book quickly will help facilitate your revisiting the book for advice over time.)
The author has actually done years of research, carefully observing and recording the interactions of married couples, and so he bases his views not on what common sense would tell you , but on what actually happens when couples interact. It is not just about about lots of sad marriage stories. He tells you first, the hallmark signs of the marriages that will split and those that will weather it, not just vague ideas, but specifically what will produce a divorce. Then he also tells you what will keep a marriage together.
There are a number of exercises for a couple, to give some feedback specifically for the reader. There are a lot of them, one after each chapter, so probably you don't want to do them all. But its a great jump off point for a couple to get going on his theories. There is no ONE book that can pinpoint human behavior , especially not for two different people. But this one shows some empirical basis for his ideas, and for that reason, it sets it apart. Definitely worth reading.