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Sex Object: A Memoir Hardcover – June 7, 2016
| Jessica Valenti (Author) Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author |
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New York Times Bestseller
NPR Best Book of 2016
“Sharp and prescient… The appeal of Valenti’s memoir lies in her ability to trace objectification through her own life, and to trace what was for a long time her own obliviousness to it…Sex Object is an antidote to the fun and flirty feminism of selfies and self-help.” — New Republic
Hailed by the Washington Post as “one of the most visible and successful feminists of her generation,” Jessica Valenti has been leading the national conversation on gender and politics for over a decade. Now, in a memoir that Publishers Weekly calls “bold and unflinching,” Valenti explores the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives, from the everyday to the existential. From subway gropings and imposter syndrome to sexual awakenings and motherhood, Sex Object reveals the painful, embarrassing, and sometimes illegal moments that shaped Valenti’s adolescence and young adulthood in New York City.
In the tradition of writers like Joan Didion and Mary Karr, Sex Object is a profoundly moving tour de force that is bound to shock those already familiar with Valenti’s work, and enthrall those who are just finding it.
- Print length224 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherDey Street Books
- Publication dateJune 7, 2016
- Dimensions1 x 5.7 x 8.4 inches
- ISBN-109780062435088
- ISBN-13978-0062435088
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Editorial Reviews
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Review
“Yes, All Men (And Everyone Else) Need To Read ‘Sex Object’” — NPR
“Powerful...incredibly readable... she wants to take us back to a place of telling stories.” — The Nation
“This aching account of attempting to live, date and work while female is a brave admission of vulnerability.” — Washington Post
“A bold undertaking… consciousness raising. Valenti is one of America’s best-known and often divisive feminists.” — The Guardian
“Valenti writes in impressively honest detail.” — Salon
“Valenti uses the personal to shed light on a universally female political problem. There is an awakening that happens as a woman reading this book.” — Bust Magazine
“[Valenti’s] memories are relatable and raise important questions about how society treats and views women.” — Bustle
“An entertaining and shocking memoir from a leading feminist writer.” — Booklist
“Amazing...a profoundly raw and honest book.” — Ezra Klein, Vox
“A powerful literary memoir that expertly makes the case for feminism today.” — Harper's Bazaar
“Powerful.. more than the sum of its parts… a bold and unflinching road map of Valenti’s journey to become the woman she is.” — Publishers Weekly
“A zesty, zeitgeisty memoir.” — O Magazine
“Jessica Valenti is widely known as a feminist leader- with this stunningly brave and often funny memoir, we get a chance to know her as a human being. This is an incredibly powerful book. I can’t recommend it loudly enough.” — Jill Soloway, writer, producer, creator of the Emmy-winning show Transparent
“Adrienne Rich wrote, ‘When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her.’ In Sex Object, Jessica Valenti tells her truth with stunning vulnerability and courage, defying easy answers and daring us to look away. You won’t forget it.” — Irin Carmon, New York Times bestselling author of Notorious RBG: The Life and Times of Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“Deeply moving, honest, and unflinching, Sex Object secures Jessica Valenti’s place as one of the foremost writers and thinkers of her generation. Her personal story highlights universal truths about being a woman, and makes the case for why feminism today is an unstoppable force.” — Cecile Richards, President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America
“Jessica Valenti’s powerful personal story offers unique perspective on how sexism and patriarchy manifest themselves in the daily lives of American women. Sex Object is a necessary read for women and men alike.” — Jamil Smith, Senior National Correspondent, MTV News
“I began reading Jessica Valenti’s Sex Object before the most recent tape (as of this writing) leaked of a presidential candidate bragging about sexually assaulting women for fun, but there could hardly be a better validation for the subject.” — AV Club
From the Back Cover
“Who would I be if I lived in a world that didn’t hate women?”
Hailed by the Washington Post as “one of the most visible and successful feminists of her generation,” Jessica Valenti has been leading the national conversation on gender and politics for over a decade. Now, in a memoir that Publishers Weekly calls “bold and unflinching,” Valenti explores the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives, from the everyday to the existential.
In the tradition of writers like Joan Didion and Mary Karr, Sex Object is a profoundly moving tour de force that is bound to shock those already familiar with Valenti’s work, and enthrall those who are just finding it.About the Author
JESSICA VALENTI is a columnist for The Guardian US where she writes about gender and politics. In 2004 she founded the award-winning Feministing.com, which Columbia Journalism Review called “head and shoulders above almost any writing on women’s issues in mainstream media.”? Her work has appeared in the New YorkTimes, the Washington Post, the Nation, and Ms. She is the author of several books, including the national bestseller Full Frontal Feminism. Jessica lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughter.
Product details
- ASIN : 0062435086
- Publisher : Dey Street Books (June 7, 2016)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9780062435088
- ISBN-13 : 978-0062435088
- Item Weight : 13.1 ounces
- Dimensions : 1 x 5.7 x 8.4 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #545,835 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #947 in Feminist Theory (Books)
- #2,243 in Author Biographies
- #16,096 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Jessica Valenti - called one of the Top 100 Inspiring Women in the world - is a feminist author & columnist. Her most recent book, Sex Object: A Memoir, was a New York Times bestseller.
In 2004, Jessica founded the award winning blog Feministing.com, which Columbia Journalism Review called “head and shoulders above almost any writing on women’s issues in mainstream media.”
Jessica’s articles have topped the most-read lists at The New York Times, The Atlantic, the Guardian, and The Washington Post. She's also written for Salon, Bitch, Ms. Magazine and The Toast.
Jessica has been interviewed on The Colbert Report, profiled in The New York Times magazine, and is a widely-sought after speaker.
She has a Masters degree in Gender Studies from Rutgers University and lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughter. You can find her writing at jessica.substack.com
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I cannot understand how her husband continued to put her at risk after she and her daughter almost died. Were both of his hands amputated? Jessica mentions how he can compartmentalize and hide his feelings while she has PTSD. Given that his body has remained uninvaded/sacrosanct/solely for his own pleasure his entire life, of course he cannot understand what she--or her daughter--has been through. He comes across as a robotic selfish boor. This book does not explain why such a smart vibrant woman is drawn to such a person, but I suppose that this is another element of what makes her writing so powerful: In a world where one is a sex object, any straight male that sees a brain in the body is a viable mate no matter how cold and insensitive.
Sad, sad book. Best to Jessica and Layla.
For starters, that is a goofy question to begin a book with. It is obvious she is referring to men (unless she is suggesting that not only are the vast majority of men in the world misogynists, but also a significant percentage of other women as well). So, the real question that Ms. Valenti should start off with should be more appropriately, "Who would I be if I didn't live in a world where most men in society didn't exhibit hatred and misogyny toward women?"
I remember once back in Summer of 1985 (when I had a 42'' chest and a 29'' waist and about 8% of body fat), I had a female friend invite me to model some men's underwear for a lingerie shop in Bloomington, Indiana (my alma mater is Indiana University). I was one of three men selected, and we joined 6 or 7 female models. I walked through the all-female crowd wearing a men's g-string, and this is when I first realized that if a man is handsome and perceived as having a high degree of sex appeal, HE TOO will be 'objectified' as opposed to being treated like a multi-dimensional human being. Women began to touch on my physique without my consent or permission. They grabbed on me - as well as my two fellow male models - as if they were ENTITLED to touch on me.
My point in sharing this story is not to brag on how lean, muscular and athletic my physique was 31 years ago, but rather to emphatically highlight that BOTH MEN AND WOMEN are frequently "objectified." The difference between most men and many women is that the vast majority of men LOVE being treated like "sex objects." I would even go as far as to suggest that most men PREFER to be treated "sex objects." What men hate is being treated like "male girlfriends" and/or "play brothers." I feel totally insulted when a woman treats me like I am not worthy of being anything more to her than a purely platonic male "friend." I would say I speak for most men.
The thing is, women enjoy men's non-sexual / purely platonic companionship probably ten times more than men enjoy spending time with women in a purely platonic manner. And THIS is what REALLY leaves women feeling agitated, irritated, and frustrated (this is discussed in the , The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today's Society ). If a man is attracted to a woman physically and sexually, more often than not, he has no desire to remain "just friends" with a woman. This is a concept that I feel leaves the author and the fellow members of her gender feeling delusional about and in denial.
Another thing: I am so sick and tired of women (and particularly feminists) whining about this so-called "double standard" (i.e., men who are labeled 'players' and 'womanizers' when they are sexually active and promiscuous, but women being labeled as 'sluts' and 'whores' when they are sexually active and promiscuous). THAT IS NOT MEN'S FAULT. THIS IS WOMEN'S FAULT. Women love promiscuous men. They cannot get enough of them (I am speaking from personal experience as well as my personal observation). If women, as a group, were to CHOOSE to avoid dating and/or marrying men who have a reputation for being promiscuous ... PROBLEM SOLVED. There would be no more "double standard." Quit blaming men for the fact that you women are far more willing to be the wife of a highly promiscuous man than most men are willing to be the husband to a highly promiscuous woman.
For every choice and decision we make - men and women - there are going to be potential consequences, criticisms, judgments, and/or repercussions. You just have to accept that as fact and deal with it. Quit whining and complaining. If women do not want to be 'sexually objectified' ... eat junk food every day, allow yourself to gain 40 or more pounds, and stop taking care of your grooming and hygiene. Then women will stop being sexually objectified by just about all men overnight. Trust.
Here are some of the points expressed by Ms. Valenti that I am in agreement with:
A) If a man makes a sexual advance toward a woman ... and he is rebuffed ... he should then immediately leave the woman alone. If the man persists after being straightforwardly rejected, then he is more than guilty of "harassing" a woman;
B) No man should feel like he is 'entitled' to grope a woman's body (like those horny women groped my body in 1985) when she has not given him the green light to do so; Such behavior is representative of sexual harassment, if not borderline sexual assault;
C) If a woman is not interested in engaging in oral sex, anal sex, and/or vaginal intercourse with a man, she needs to make that specifically clear to a man before she begins 'making out' with that guy; Similarly, if a man is interested in engaging in sexual relations with a woman, he needs to express that to a woman in an upfront, specific, and straight-to-the-point manner in order to prevent "compromising situations" that could potentially lead to date-rape or sexual assault;
There are few other valid points and assertions that are expressed, but the overall demonizing of the male gender in this book is totally unwarranted and invalid. Next time, Ms. Valenti needs to present a book that is more objective-minded than what was presented in this recent effort.
Top reviews from other countries
The last couple of chapters are more about the author and one can empathize and the first few chapters are hard hitting and relatable
Non si vede neanche che era usato.
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