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The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide Hardcover – January 7, 2003
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In contrast to its tabloid title, The Sex-Starved Marriage offers candid and sensible counsel for couples with mismatched libidos. Seasoned sex therapist Michele Weiner-Davis skewers two stereotypes about sex in marriage. First, she jettisons the idea that husbands are hot and wives are not, giving examples of "low-desire" men in her practice. Next, she upends the longstanding model of sexual response and advises readers: "Just do it. Desire is a decision. Once the low-interest partner allows him/herself to be touched and aroused, this will trigger a strong desire to continue being sexual." The strength of her approach to the causes of sexual stalemate lies in her insights about the struggles of both partners. Her suggestions (how to break the ice, how to court your partner, nag busting, and the Hallmark solution) are not gimmicky and are presented as techniques for couples, not individuals. Weakened only by a final chapter--one that discloses too many details about the authors marriage--this perceptive book will inspire couples to add heat and light to their marriage. --Barbara Mackoff
From Publishers Weekly
Author (The Divorce Remedy), therapist and Oprah regular Davis offers a frank and reassuring guide for couples struggling with the "desire doldrums." It's been estimated that one-third of couples face issues of low desire, the impact of which is felt beyond the bedroom: "Unsatisfying sexual relationships," Davis writes, "are the all-too-frequent causes of alienation, infidelity and divorce." Unfortunately, libidos are rarely equal; most marriages have a low-desire spouse and a high-desire spouse. Davis offers advice for both, bolstered by numerous examples of how that advice has worked for couples she's encountered during her two decades as a marriage counselor. Court your partner the way he or she wants to be courted, Davis tells high-desire spouses; for low-desire spouses, sometimes the best idea is (to borrow a line from Nike) to "just do it." Her "field-tested" tips are sensible rather than earth-shattering-talk openly, be kind, commit to making a change for the better and set concrete, attainable goals-but in the hard-to-talk-about realm of sex, very welcome indeed.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Top customer reviews
Please note - there is no such thing as a magic cure, and this book is no exception. Like ANY other aspect of marriage, it takes both partners to really commit to resolving problems and making a happy marriage. This is a guide - you have to decide to follow.
Many questions that I had were answered in that book. I laughed a lot too because it seemed that she was reading my mind.
My only complaint: sometimes she is a bit too optimistic. The solutions that she gives are simple (and you really feel like trying them !) but other times when you don't feel like it, there is nothing to make you change your mind.
Read it anyway, it is a great helper about several topics.