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Sex Without Stress: A couple's guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance & pressure by [Jessa Zimmerman]

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Sex Without Stress: A couple's guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance & pressure Kindle Edition

4.3 out of 5 stars 223 ratings

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Editorial Reviews


Whether being in a couple or working with couples, skill, perseverance and perspective are always important. Jessa Zimmerman, an expert in counseling couples, has written a much-needed book about couples. Her book is accessible and insightful. Her advice is never formulaic but instead focuses on thoughtful and practical discussions about growing as a couple. I ve wanted to refer to a book like this for a long time. So glad and not a moment too soon, Zimmerman has written it. I give it my highest recommendation! --Sallie Foley, Director, University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program & Co-author, Sex Matters for Women

Jessa Zimmerman takes the reader through a straightforward and no-nonsense journey, highlighting the most common struggles couples experience. This book identifies the top issues with which couples struggle: from defining what sex is or should be, desire discrepancies and differences in couples sexual styles. She clearly maintains that it is essential for each partner to be accountable for themselves and to each other to follow the useful action steps she walks them through necessary to bypass avoidance, disappointment and pressure. --Dr. Joe Kort, LMSW, Author & Speaker

A definitive resource that helps couples face and identify the pain of lost sexual intimacy. Jessa bridges the gap between sexual desire and sexual despair as she offers concrete methods to stop avoiding sex. Her techniques clearly outline ways to have sex without stress that are accessible to all couples, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. As a sex therapist, I highly recommend this book as it pursues reducing the pressure and finding the pleasure of sex. --Edy Nathan MA, LCSWR, CST
--This text refers to the paperback edition.

About the Author

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples' counselor and certified sex therapist with a private practice in Seattle. She is the host of the Better Sex podcast and has appeared as a featured guest on podcasts like Sexology, Keepin' It Juicy, and the I Do Podcast.

SUZIE ALTHENS records from her professional studio in Alaska, near the beautiful Matanuska Glacier. She narrates regularly for major publishers and specializes in audiobooks and e-learning. Suzie is enthusiastic about narrating nonfiction as it provides opportunities to share amazing memoirs, medical discoveries, and inspiration, but she also enjoys mysteries and women's fiction. Suzie narrates children's encyclopedias and donates time to narrate children's fiction for Learning Ally, a nonprofit organization, when she has the opening to woo the reluctant young reader.

--This text refers to the audioCD edition.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07FQKTLLN
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ LegacyONE Authors, LLC (September 3, 2018)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 3, 2018
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 3013 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 202 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 out of 5 stars 223 ratings

About the author

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Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She works in private practice in Seattle, WA. Over the course of her therapy career, she has focused almost exclusively on helping couples with their emotional and sexual intimacy.

In her years of clinical experience, Zimmerman has treated hundreds of couples who have struggled to feel sexual desire and fulfillment. Her clients describe having a good relationship in other ways, but their sex life has become difficult to the point that they start to avoid sex. These are people who love each other but are struggling to have a sex life they both enjoy.

She specializes in helping these couples who find that sex has become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 9-phase experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life.

Zimmerman received her Master’s in Psychology from LIOS college of Saybrook University and Sex Therapist certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). She has done extensive training in couples’ therapy, with a focus on Crucible® Therapy with Dr. David Schnarch.

She is the host of the Better Sex Podcast and has appeared on numerous other podcasts as an expert guest. She hosts the Sex, Intimacy & Relationships group on Facebook and broadcasts live on a regular basis.

She lives in Seattle with her partner and youngest child of three.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
223 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 25, 2018
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 6, 2018
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 15, 2022
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1.0 out of 5 stars Horrible advice! Promotes rape culture.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 15, 2022
I attached a picture so you can read it for yourself, but this book promotes marital rape. If you don't want to have sex and you're expected to do it anyway that's pretty much the definition of rape. For anyone who has been sexually assaulted this could be incredibly triggering. For men trying to do it anyway when anxious rarely works and often makes things worse.
I absolutely can't believe this is in here from a supposed therapist. If it was a male therapist he would be raked over the coals, but unfortunately women therapists can get away with encouraging rape. Imagine if you don't want to and your partner expects you to just push through and do it anyway. That definitely isn't going to help your relationship!
I know I'm ranting, I just can't believe that was in this book that gets such good ratings. I'm absolutely appalled.
I returned it.
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16 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 13, 2018
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 26, 2019
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5.0 out of 5 stars A straight forward, no nonsense book.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 26, 2019
Jessa Zimmerman’s book “Sex Without Stress” addresses the dilemma that long-term couples face in their desire to rekindle the sexual desire they experienced early in their romance but have since lost for a variety of good reasons. As a practicing Psychologist for nearly 40 years, I have seen countless couples struggle with this issue in silence, failing to address the obvious, or preferring to work on their partners rather than self. Zimmerman raises and addresses the prevalent and difficult issues of avoidance of sex, the failure to discuss their sexuality, or their lack of sexuality. She also points out reasons for the avoidance, and the common defenses employed to avoid difficult conversations as well as sexuality. She addresses sexuality by helping participants become aware of, and address these issues through simple exercises first with oneself and then working with their partner to help them connect to their own body as well as their partner.
I recommend this book for its straight forward approach to a difficult and common issue for many long-term committed couples. If you are one of the lucky couples where both partners are interested in restoring the passion, I recommend getting two books, one for each of you to work on alone at first and then to bring your results to the relationship and engage in the simple exercises that address the complex issues we all face. Five stars for Jessa Zimmerman LMSW and Sex Without Stress..
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5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on February 11, 2022
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5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 27, 2020
4 people found this helpful
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4.0 out of 5 stars Written for me
Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on November 2, 2020
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