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Sex Without Stress: A couple's guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance & pressure by [Jessa Zimmerman]

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Jessa Zimmerman

Sex Without Stress: A couple's guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance & pressure Kindle Edition

by Jessa Zimmerman (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

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Isn’t sex supposed to be easy?
Do sexual problems mean I’m in the wrong relationship?
How do we get to the point where sex is fun again?
Am I broken? Is there any hope?

Jessa Zimmerman takes on the heart-wrenching questions that naturally arise when couples are struggling with sex. Once sex becomes synonymous with disappointment, avoidance sets in and creates pressure in the bedroom. In this straightforward and practical book, Zimmerman guides us to understand the cycle that develops when sex is difficult, to shift our mindset when it comes to sexual intimacy, and to transform our sexual experience with our partner using a nine-phase experiential process.

"I wrote Sex Without Stress to bring hope and transformation to all of the couples who are in good relationships but are suffering in their sex lives and don’t see a way forward. It’s totally normal to struggle in your sex life, because at some point you are going to run into common obstacles like sexual dysfunction, lack of desire, or even just a busy life. By changing the way you think about intimacy and relationships, and by working through my 9-phase process, you can transform your sex life. And when your sex life is working, your whole relationship is going to work better," says Zimmerman.

Advance Praise for Sex Without Stress:
Whether being in a couple or working with couples, skill, perseverance and perspective are always important. Jessa Zimmerman, an expert in counseling couples, has written a much-needed book about couples. Her book is accessible and insightful. Her advice is never ‘formulaic’ but instead focuses on thoughtful and practical discussions about growing as a couple. I’ve wanted to refer to a book like this for a long time. So glad and not a moment too soon, Zimmerman has written it. I give it my highest recommendation!

-Sallie Foley, Director, University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program & Co-author, Sex Matters for Women

Jessa Zimmerman takes the reader through a straightforward and no-nonsense journey, highlighting the most common struggles couples experience. This book
identifies the top issues with which couples struggle: from defining what sex is or should be, desire discrepancies and differences in couples’ sexual styles. She clearly maintains that it is essential for each partner to be accountable for themselves—and to each other—to follow the useful action steps she walks them through necessary to bypass avoidance, disappointment and pressure.
-Dr. Joe Kort, LMSW, Author & Speaker

A definitive resource that helps couples face and identify the pain of lost sexual intimacy. Jessa bridges the gap between sexual desire and sexual despair as she offers concrete methods to stop avoiding sex. Her techniques clearly outline ways to have “sex without stress” that are accessible to all couples, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. As a sex therapist, I highly recommend this book as it pursues reducing the pressure and finding the pleasure of sex.
-Edy Nathan MA, LCSWR, CST

Over the last 40 years, I have met many good couples struggling to become great, trying to recapture the passion they had when they first met. Sexual problems are common over a long-term relationship. Many couples avoid sharing their personal feelings about their sexuality, failing to address the personal barriers to recapturing that loving lust. Jessa Zimmerman’s book addresses just that, helping couples who avoid sex to find transparency and willingness to share and explore oneself and each other’s sexual map. Sex Without Stress can help your love life become great again.
-Dr. Kevin Seymour, Clinical Psychologist

Print length

202 pages
Language

English
Sticky notes

On Kindle Scribe
Publication date

September 3, 2018
File size

3013 KB
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Whether being in a couple or working with couples, skill, perseverance and perspective are always important. Jessa Zimmerman, an expert in counseling couples, has written a much-needed book about couples. Her book is accessible and insightful. Her advice is never formulaic but instead focuses on thoughtful and practical discussions about growing as a couple. I ve wanted to refer to a book like this for a long time. So glad and not a moment too soon, Zimmerman has written it. I give it my highest recommendation! --Sallie Foley, Director, University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program & Co-author, Sex Matters for Women

Jessa Zimmerman takes the reader through a straightforward and no-nonsense journey, highlighting the most common struggles couples experience. This book identifies the top issues with which couples struggle: from defining what sex is or should be, desire discrepancies and differences in couples sexual styles. She clearly maintains that it is essential for each partner to be accountable for themselves and to each other to follow the useful action steps she walks them through necessary to bypass avoidance, disappointment and pressure. --Dr. Joe Kort, LMSW, Author & Speaker

A definitive resource that helps couples face and identify the pain of lost sexual intimacy. Jessa bridges the gap between sexual desire and sexual despair as she offers concrete methods to stop avoiding sex. Her techniques clearly outline ways to have sex without stress that are accessible to all couples, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. As a sex therapist, I highly recommend this book as it pursues reducing the pressure and finding the pleasure of sex. --Edy Nathan MA, LCSWR, CST --This text refers to the paperback edition.

About the Author

Jessa Zimmerman is a couples' counselor and certified sex therapist with a private practice in Seattle. She is the host of the Better Sex podcast and has appeared as a featured guest on podcasts like Sexology, Keepin' It Juicy, and the I Do Podcast.

SUZIE ALTHENS records from her professional studio in Alaska, near the beautiful Matanuska Glacier. She narrates regularly for major publishers and specializes in audiobooks and e-learning. Suzie is enthusiastic about narrating nonfiction as it provides opportunities to share amazing memoirs, medical discoveries, and inspiration, but she also enjoys mysteries and women's fiction. Suzie narrates children's encyclopedias and donates time to narrate children's fiction for Learning Ally, a nonprofit organization, when she has the opening to woo the reluctant young reader.

--This text refers to the audioCD edition.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07FQKTLLN
Publisher ‏ : ‎ LegacyONE Authors, LLC (September 3, 2018)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 3, 2018
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 3013 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 202 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #63,583 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #11 in Counseling & Psychology eBooks on Human Sexuality
- #30 in Sexuality (Kindle Store)
- #63 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality

Customer Reviews:
223 ratings

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Jessa Zimmerman

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Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She works in private practice in Seattle, WA. Over the course of her therapy career, she has focused almost exclusively on helping couples with their emotional and sexual intimacy.

In her years of clinical experience, Zimmerman has treated hundreds of couples who have struggled to feel sexual desire and fulfillment. Her clients describe having a good relationship in other ways, but their sex life has become difficult to the point that they start to avoid sex. These are people who love each other but are struggling to have a sex life they both enjoy.

She specializes in helping these couples who find that sex has become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 9-phase experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life.

Zimmerman received her Master’s in Psychology from LIOS college of Saybrook University and Sex Therapist certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). She has done extensive training in couples’ therapy, with a focus on Crucible® Therapy with Dr. David Schnarch.

She is the host of the Better Sex Podcast and has appeared on numerous other podcasts as an expert guest. She hosts the Sex, Intimacy & Relationships group on Facebook and broadcasts live on a regular basis.

She lives in Seattle with her partner and youngest child of three.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5

223 global ratings

5 star		63%
4 star		18%
3 star		12%
2 star		2%
1 star		5%

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E. Candell

Pragmatic methods to improve your intimate relationship

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 25, 2018

Verified Purchase

Zimmerman's book is quite unique in the world of self-help books in general and books on intimacy in particular. It provides real-world, practical tips on how you can make progress on your sexual relationship, all while keeping in mind the realities of emotionally committed relationships. It is obvious in reading her book that Zimmerman understands the ways that couples really come together (not just in the bedroom), and it is great that her advice and exercises line up with the reality of relationships. So often, self help books do a great job of explaining a problem but have little to say on what to do about it. Sex Without Stress seems to defy the odds with real suggestions on how both partners can come together to make sex great. Clearly written, compassionate, and easy to approach (especially given the topic).

18 people found this helpful

Helpful

Amazon Customer

A Chore to Read

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 21, 2022

Verified Purchase

For context, I was looking for a book that would help me bridge the desire disparity between my husband and me. I was really hoping for a book that got me excited to explore my sexuality more. Unfortunately that’s not the experience I personally had with this book.

It’s dry and a little severe in tone. The way it’s written makes sex feel intimidating and sterile instead of magical, expressive, and special.

With how much of the book is just repeating the same few points you could easily cut 20-30 pages. I found myself thinking “I know we’ve been over this”, especially near the end.

I was hoping to find a lot of creative and fun ways to stoke the fire of our sex life. There’s really only 1 exercise in the book and it is covered ***extensively***.

It could be just the book someone is looking for, but I just didn’t get much out of it. If you’re looking for ways to approach your partner about the topic of sex then this book is helpful. If you’re open about sex but can’t tap into desire easily, I’d read a different book.

4 people found this helpful

Helpful

Joy Dunning

FUN Exercises to try!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 6, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book kept things simple and human. The author explains intimacy issues in a tangible but more importantly interesting way. Then she takes you through 9 exercises. I found the exercises to be very helpful in my relationship. My partner and I have set aside one night a week (yes, even with kids) to “go to the playground.” It’s changed our dynamic and brought fun back. She gives you all the tools needed to shift your relationship-the bigger challenge is not just reading the exercises and experiencing them intellectually, but setting aside the time and commitment to trying the exercises with your partner!

11 people found this helpful

Helpful

Dionne

Great book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on November 9, 2020

Verified Purchase

I recommend to couples who are trying to regain their sex life. I would recommend this to all of my friends

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Amazing Book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 18, 2020

Verified Purchase

My girlfriend and I read the book together. It’s helped up tremendously so far. The entire book is worth reading to help aid in fixing your concerns.

4 people found this helpful

Helpful

danny grosshouser

Horrible advice! Promotes rape culture.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 15, 2022

Verified Purchase

I attached a picture so you can read it for yourself, but this book promotes marital rape. If you don't want to have sex and you're expected to do it anyway that's pretty much the definition of rape. For anyone who has been sexually assaulted this could be incredibly triggering. For men trying to do it anyway when anxious rarely works and often makes things worse.
I absolutely can't believe this is in here from a supposed therapist. If it was a male therapist he would be raked over the coals, but unfortunately women therapists can get away with encouraging rape. Imagine if you don't want to and your partner expects you to just push through and do it anyway. That definitely isn't going to help your relationship!
I know I'm ranting, I just can't believe that was in this book that gets such good ratings. I'm absolutely appalled.
I returned it.

16 people found this helpful

Helpful

Tammy R. Ellis

Very good book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 13, 2018

Verified Purchase

So far it is very informative. Still have a ways to get through to finish it

3 people found this helpful

Helpful

nancy keating

A straight forward, no nonsense book.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 26, 2019

Jessa Zimmerman’s book “Sex Without Stress” addresses the dilemma that long-term couples face in their desire to rekindle the sexual desire they experienced early in their romance but have since lost for a variety of good reasons. As a practicing Psychologist for nearly 40 years, I have seen countless couples struggle with this issue in silence, failing to address the obvious, or preferring to work on their partners rather than self. Zimmerman raises and addresses the prevalent and difficult issues of avoidance of sex, the failure to discuss their sexuality, or their lack of sexuality. She also points out reasons for the avoidance, and the common defenses employed to avoid difficult conversations as well as sexuality. She addresses sexuality by helping participants become aware of, and address these issues through simple exercises first with oneself and then working with their partner to help them connect to their own body as well as their partner.
I recommend this book for its straight forward approach to a difficult and common issue for many long-term committed couples. If you are one of the lucky couples where both partners are interested in restoring the passion, I recommend getting two books, one for each of you to work on alone at first and then to bring your results to the relationship and engage in the simple exercises that address the complex issues we all face. Five stars for Jessa Zimmerman LMSW and Sex Without Stress..

3 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Reason

Very helpful

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on February 11, 2022

Verified Purchase

Got this book 3 months ago to help with a disparity in a 8-year relationship, one of us always trying to initiate and feeling rejected, the other feeling harassed and stressed. We looked at samples from a few books and chose this one based as the ideas resonated most with our experience. I liked that it is written from a more universal perspective, and the examples include various kinds of sexual relationships.

The advice from the book have been very helpful. Some of it sounded simple or obvious, but the way these ideas are presented has helped to bring a different perspective into our love life. The 9 exercises (really 1 exercise with a focus on 9 different things) are also very simple, but actually doing it has been very helpful. Both of us have changed our behaviour, have learned to talk much more openly than we had before, and are more satisfied in our relationship overall.

5 people found this helpful

Amazon Customer

Wow!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 27, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book is amazing!! It’s changed my way of thinking and made so much sense! I would give this book 5 stars! It’s definitely helping me get out of my bad way of thinking and out of my head ******

4 people found this helpful

Kindle Customer

Written for me

Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on November 2, 2020

Verified Purchase

After reading this book I felt it was written about me and my problems. I hope to find some peace.

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