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Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! Paperback – May 19, 2021

4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 27 ratings

Shameless Parenting is the 21st-century book parents have been asking for! It highlights the trickiest parts of each age (birth to 18) that tend to trigger shame, and guides them on how-to provide emotionally for their children while helping them understand the shame that is emerging for them. Shame is what makes us reactive as parents. It is the hardest part of parenting. It is from our own places of shame that we over-react, repeating patterns from our parents that we might otherwise have resisted, and finding ourselves stuck, not knowing what to do. This book has your back! It allows you to feel prepared for each stage of your child’s emotional and sexual development before you get there, and it gives you everything you need before you are caught off guard, including sex ed when that times comes for your child. Now you can enjoy yourself, enjoy your child, heal your shame, and change the legacy. What a powerful gift to give yourself, your child, and your whole family!

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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B095GDF9LM
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently published (May 19, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 124 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8705400423
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 8.5 x 0.3 x 11 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 27 ratings

About the author

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Tina Schermer Sellers
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Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, professor emerita, and author of two best selling books Shameless Parenting - Everything You Need to Raise Shame-Free, Confident Kids & Heal Your Shame Too! and Sex, God and the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. She is a preeminent voice on the impact of sexual shame on sexual health and attachment. In her latest book, Shameless Sex – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids, and Heal Your Shame Too!, Dr. Sellers highlights the trickiest parts of each stage of parenting (birth to 18) that tend to trigger shame-based reactivity. It is the hardest part of parenting. It is from our own places of shame that we over-react, repeating patterns from our parent’s that we might otherwise have resisted. This is the book parents have been waiting for. Dr. Tina is also the founder and medical director of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy which provides training and supervision for therapists, medical providers and clergy in sexual health and confronting sexual bias. Frequently featured on podcasts, TV, documentaries, articles and radio, including Spirituality & Health magazine, Tina travels the country as a keynote speaker for organizations, parents and professionals helping them become competent teaching shame-free relational and sexual health. She can be reached at TinaSchermerSellers.com, and followed on Instagram @DrTinaShameless.

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
27 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on August 24, 2021
I highly recommend this book for parents! This handbook is full of the answers and information every parent needs in raising children with healthy and confident feelings about their bodies. It's very useful from the time children are babies and into adulthood. Dr. Sellers not only has many years of education, teaching at Seattle Pacific University, counseling clients in her practice, speaking all over the U.S. and writing books, she also began her career teaching Elementary Education. I follow her on Instagram and Facebook where I continue to learn information I wish I had known years ago. I also purchased the book she wrote, "Sex, God and the Conservative Church." I highly recommend this book too!
Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2023
The book Shameless Parenting was recommended for me to read as part of my personal growth journey to help in understanding my own shame-based beliefs around sexuality. The book is so accessible to read. It provides clear guidance on understanding each phase of sexual development, and how healthy or shame-filled beliefs can develop along the path of growth from infancy to adolescence. It gently asks the reader to examine their own beliefs about sexuality and where shame may influence these beliefs. The richness of resources provided at the end of each chapter offer the reader a clear path to further expand their knowledge and support for each developmental stage. A parent reading this book will feel supported and guided on how to best show up for their child as their sexuality develops. This book should be read and re-read by every parent along each phase of their child’s development. It can also serve as a valuable resource for individuals exploring their own history of sexual development, and provide new insights for ways in which sexual shame may be holding them back from reaching their own sexual and well-being potential. Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers speaks to the reader with the voice of a trusted, knowledgeable friend who understands this material from the view of an expert, clinician, parent, and individual who has lived this. Shameless Parenting deserves every accolade available, and deserves exposure to reach the hands of as many clinicians, teachers, and parents as possible. The more people who read this book and apply the learnings from it, the more healthy, sexual shame-free individuals we will all benefit from.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 18, 2023
My husband and I read this book together and felt it was a really good foundation for raising our children to understand their sexuality, to be well educated around their sexuality and to express their sexuality in healthy ways (or that is the goal).

The information in this booklet is specifically age-appropriate, giving parents a summary of what is developmentally appropriate for children ranging from toddlers to age eighteen. Readers can easily turn to the age-group of their children and find ideas for talking points with their children. Our children need ongoing conversation around consent, gender and sexuality and Tina points to ongoing sex-education as more beneficial than a once-off “sex talk.”

This booklet challenges parents to deal with their own shame and embarrassment around sexuality so that they can, in fact, be in regular ongoing conversation with their children about sex and sexuality. It is a helpful starting point for parents on a journey toward becoming better sex-educators and advocates for their children, especially if this wasn’t something they experienced while they were being parented themselves and feel inadequate to do. This resource equips parents to evolve further than the previous generation of parents, so that our children can also go forward and do better than us!

Shameless Parenting is also a quick and easy go-to if your child approaches you with questions or comments that you are a little unsure or uncomfortable about. The book is quite succinct, but shares extensive lists of resources for parents to investigate as they continue on the journey of becoming better sex-educators for their children.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2023
In Shameless Parenting, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers has provided an invaluable resource for those looking to prevent or heal from sexual shame. This book compassionately encourages adult readers to gently notice, name, and challenge the shaming messages of their sexual upbringings, invoking their right to safety, kindness, and affirmation.

Each chapter provides clear, developmentally appropriate guidance on how to speak to children about sexuality, bodies, behaviors, boundaries, communication, and relationships.

A distinctive strength of this book is accessibility. Dr. Sellers provides clear, succinct, language and structure to communicate with young ones. Parents and caregivers who would otherwise be intimidated by literature on this topic are equipped with comprehensible tools to nourish their loved ones’ growth. It is works like these which will bridge the gap between academia and the everyday parent who wishes to provide their child a safer and more joy-filled upbringing.

We are lucky to have books like Shameless Parenting, and passionate clinicians and educators like Dr. Sellers, whose warmth rings through each chapter of this collection.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2023
Dr. Sellers has given parents an invaluable tool to understand the ages and stages of child
emotional and sexual development in a way that helps to demystify the job of parents to raise
children up in a positive culture around bodies and sexuality that may have been different than
the way they were raised. As many were raised with some degree of shame (whether that was
from family systems, gender stereotypes, or religious backgrounds), this book helps to chart a
new course to show that it doesn’t have to be this way! Just as all parents have What to Expect
While You are Expecting, this should be given to every new parent as a roadmap for the
adventure ahead of raising healthy and whole people who are in relationships marked by
responsibility, respect, mutuality, connection, and joy.
Parent of a 20 year old daughter and a 17 year old son