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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner) by [Ian Kerner]

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Ian Kerner

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner) Kindle Edition

by Ian Kerner (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

3,682 ratings

Part of: Kerner (2 Books)

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“Every man’s must-read. Tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up She Comes First.”
—Cosmopolitan

Ian Kerner offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women in She Comes First—an essential guidebook to oral sex from the author of Be Honest—You’re Not That Into Him Either. The New York Times praises Kerner’s “cool sense of humor and an obsessive desire to inform,” as he “encourages men through an act that many find mystifying.” An indispensable aid to a healthier, more fulfilling sex life for her and him, She Comes First offers techniques and philosophy that have already earned raves from the likes of bestselling author and Loveline co-host Dr. Drew Pinsky as well as Playgirl magazine, which cheers, “Hallelujah!”

Print length

240 pages
Language

English
Publisher

HarperCollins e-books
Publication date

October 13, 2009
File size

1413 KB
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Take note, guys. This book is your secret weapon.”

Amazon.com Review

"When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man's native tongue," writes clinical sexologist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. in She Comes First, a straightforward, intimate, and exuberant guide to cunnilingus. Kerner first explored "the oral caress" as a way of compensating for his "sexual inadequacies," and quickly learned that women not only welcomed but often preferred "the way of the tongue," reaching orgasm more consistently than through intercourse. Kerner educates readers about the clitoris, "the powerhouse of pleasure," with 18 parts and 8,000 nerve endings (twice as many as the penis) and describes female sexual response from "foreplay" through "coreplay" to "moreplay." A large part of the book is a graphic, detailed primer on "mouth music," including best positions, step-by-step techniques (illustrated), and tips for tongue and fingers. How long should this last? Until the woman has an orgasm or many, says Kerner, and "melts blissfully before your eyes." "The vast majority of women complain about guys who don't like to do it, don't know how to do it, or simply don't do it nearly enough," writes Kerner. This book will change that. Women: Buy it for your partner! --Joan Price --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

About the Author

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., is a sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author of numerous books. He contributes regularly to Today and lives in New York City with his wife and two young sons.

--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

From the Inside Flap

"Men, while still lame, can no longer hide behind the old excuse of ignorance when it comes to pleasuring a woman--the facts are all here in this complete guide."

--Dr Drew Pinsky, co-host of Loveline

"An entire book written strictly for the pleasure of women by a man. Hallelujah!"

--Playgirl

"This well-written, hands-on, fluff-free book puts the 'big penis=big orgasm' theory to rest once and for all. No man or woman should be without it."

---Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W., author of The Sex-Starved Marriage

"You've all heard about 'lunch at the Y.' Well, this book will make it a feeding frenzy."

--Sue Johanson, host of Oxygen's Talk Sex --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

From Publishers Weekly

Dispelling the widely held myth of genital penetration as the apogee of sexual pleasure, Kerner, who holds a doctorate in clinical sexology, offers this witty, well-researched manual for "consistently leading women to orgasm" through cunnilingus. Loaded with practical anatomical information (the clitoris has 18 distinct parts, and more nerve fibers than any other part of the human body) and graphic line drawings, the book also touches on the less mechanical, more psychological aspects of oral sex, including the three assurances every woman needs from her lover to feel comfortable: (1) "you enjoy it as much as she does"; (2) "there's no rush"; and (3) "Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence." Since studies show the average woman takes about 20 minutes to reach her first orgasm during a typical sex session, while men take a mere four minutes, Kerner advises men to delay their own climax and make oral sex "coreplay" ("the substantive phase in which sexual tension builds, culminates and then releases itself through the female orgasm"), instead of foreplay. Breaking down six stages of coreplay, from the "first kiss" to orgasm, Kerner speaks to both beginners and more seasoned lovers. His candor concerning his own bout with sexual dysfunction adds a compassionate tone and credibility to this decidedly pro-female methodology.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

From the Back Cover

As women everywhere will attest, men are "ill-cliterate." Most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. But in the world of She Comes First, the mystery of female satisfaction is solved and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. According to sex therapist (and evangelist of the female orgasm) Ian Kerner, oral sex isn't just foreplay, it's coreplay: simply the best way to lead a woman through the entire process of arousal time and time again. Can you say "viva la vulva"?

Fun and informative, She Comes First is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for consistently satisfying a woman and ensuring that sexual fulfillment is mutual.

--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

ASIN : B000FC1PRK
Publisher : HarperCollins e-books; Illustrated edition (October 13, 2009)
Publication date : October 13, 2009
Language : English
File size : 1413 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
X-Ray : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 240 pages
Page numbers source ISBN : 0060538252
Lending : Not Enabled

Best Sellers Rank: #13,229 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #7 in Sexuality (Kindle Store)
- #48 in Sex & Sexuality
- #82 in Read & Listen for Less

Customer Reviews:
3,682 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		76%
4 star		12%
3 star		6%
2 star		2%
1 star		3%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Amazon Customer

I Learned Things About My Body FROM A MAN?!

Reviewed in the United States on December 26, 2018

Verified Purchase

I got this book hoping my partner would be open to reading it, but before giving it to him, I read it for myself. Because I had SERIOUS doubts that a man could know the woman body. Especially intimately and sexually! 😂

So, I read it and I have to say... I learned things from Kerner about my OWN BODY that I didn’t even know! He really knows his stuff, and he has obviously done his... homework. 😉

A special note to women who have partners who could get by with a little less pride and ego... My partner wasn’t excited at all to get the book. Actually, he was pissed. I had been tried to drop sex hints and to let him know what I did or didn’t like countless times in countless (thought in more subtle and less direct) ways. I bring this up because any woman wanting to give this to her man needs to be aware that she could be opening one ugly can of worms. Knowing my partner, I knew deep-down that he would react this way because he likes to believe he’s amazing at everything and never go questioned (he’s now my ex). However, I chose to ignore that knowing that tried to arise. So, heed your intuition as to how you should go about getting this book. And if you discover that getting it would cause an explosive situation between you and your partner, then either you’re overdue in (1) leaving him, or (2) giving yourself permission to have needs and to have them met. Good luck ladies and gents!

374 people found this helpful

Helpful

Paix16

VERY HIGHLY recommended. An eye opener!!! A confidence builder!!!

Reviewed in the United States on October 14, 2018

Verified Purchase

“She Comes First” is very highly recommended. It has opened my eyes. It has significantly increased my confidence. It has made me a much better partner/lover.

I stumbled upon the book while searching for "The Joy of Sex." At the time, I was newly divorced and in search of direction prior to re-entering the dating world. Based on the reviews, I purchased both books. Unfortunately, I read TJS first. It was somewhat enlightening, but nothing I would recommend. After sitting in my desk for more than a year, I read SCF. It was an eye-opener. I never realized how little I knew about the female anatomy. After reading the book I better understood why over the years women said I was "too fast" and/or "too rough."

Although I was a little overwhelmed at times with the technical aspects of the book, the first time I put the techniques into practice I was shocked how easy it was to step up my game. I made a VERY GOOD first impression with the new woman in my life. The responses to my moves were overwhelming. For the first time, I felt like I knew what I was doing. Throughout the night and in to the early morning, I always prioritized her. My contentment took her by surprise. I truly focused on savoring all aspects of pleasing her instead of worrying about my needs/desires. Since this was our first time together, this approach went a long way towards allaying her concerns that my interest might be short-term. As a result, I have laid the ground work for building a key facet for a strong, long-term “relationship.” I stress relationship because the book is about much more than sex. It's a paradigm shift.

Unfortunately, my ex-wife will never experience the benefits of my enlightenment. Our sex life was very routine/dull. Although SCF wouldn't have saved our marriage, it might have eliminated an Achilles heel we never discussed.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

P.S. - The more I practice, the better I be"come." So far, my record is providing five orgasms in one day, across two sessions. I have discovered three ways to GUARANTEE results. I have gone from an amatuer to an expert. Trust me, the techniques work wonders. MOST IMPORTANTLY, my insecurities are gone. Also, by prioritizing my lady-friend, I have rightly made her feel very special. SHE ALWAYS COMES FIRST, in and outside of the bed!!! This makes my life easier and enhances our relationship :-)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

P.P.S. - As recommended, candle light is essential!!!

208 people found this helpful

Helpful

Willc2018

I recommend it to every man or anyone who wants to ...

Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2018

Verified Purchase

I bought this book thinking it won’t hurt to read but there is no way I believed for a second it would have the impact it has had for me and my wife. I read it with an open mind and now I have the absolute confidence that I can make my wife orgasm multiple times every time we have sex. EVERY TIME. I don’t believe half the reviews I read on amazon but please take this review seriously. I’ve dealt with pe for a long time and it has affected my marriage. But now my wife can’t wait until our next session and neither can I. I followed the tips in this book to a t and it has truly changed our relationship. I recommend it to every man or anyone who wants to get their female begging partner begging for more. No toys just the tongue and index finger!

256 people found this helpful

Helpful

The Fair Critic

Great overview of total body sex and how to re-imagine what you thought was 'the right way'

Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2018

Verified Purchase

There are so many books written on sex that are trash - poorly written or repetitions. It is hard to distinguish between all of those books and the few, well thought out additions to the topic of sex.
This book dives in to how our culture view sex, the poor job we do of teaching sex ed to our youth/young adults, and the resulting lack of focus on female pleasure and total body sex.
This book gives explicit instructions on how to better pleasure your partner, the science and art behind sex from how to set the mood to how to make your spouse feel comfortable and relaxed.
I recommend this book to everyone from the experience lover to the first-time mate. As with any subject, there is always room for improvement.

Hope this review was helpful! Let me know if you have any questions!

163 people found this helpful

Helpful

mark leonard

Smooooooth

Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2018

Verified Purchase

I thought it was a book about making papaya and banana smoothies and was shocked and disappointed to find it's really not about that at all. Read it anyway thinking he'd get to the smoothie part eventually but he never did. I learned a few things along the way. My girlfriend gives it a gasping 5 stars.

447 people found this helpful

Helpful

JennyD1006

😍my husband is reading a book!

Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2017

Verified Purchase

First book my husband has read in 10 yrs of marriage. Yeaaa me. So much good info and advice. He keep saying " did you know...". 😍😍

150 people found this helpful

Helpful

Adam Ellis

Great info, but it seems to assume all women are exactly the same

Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book has some great information, but it seems to assume that all women feel and act in the same way when they are aroused. I'll definitely use a lot of the information in the book, but that particular line of thinking kind of bothered as I read it. Also, a lot of the things the author describes (such as body positions, hand placement, tongue movements, etc.) are kind of hard to imagine, so it would have been nice to have a few additional illustrations and images along the way.

69 people found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Doc Man

Mixed

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 27, 2017

Verified Purchase

some good content but very American style with labouring a point and loads of repetition. Irritating to read but some good techniques.

15 people found this helpful

Martin

She comes first

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 13, 2018

Verified Purchase

A detailed analysis of the art of cunnilingus which deserves a second reading to absorb the techniques. Even at my age I still need to improve my style

9 people found this helpful

Glory30

A great read for women too!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 10, 2020

Verified Purchase

Great book even for women to read. I learnt so much from reading this book about my sexual organ. A must read indeed!

3 people found this helpful

Ian F

Men need to read this book.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 9, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book is for the thinking man, it has the answers for men of any age.

2 people found this helpful

Dylan

It works!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 5, 2016

Verified Purchase

Trust me, buy this book it works put the effort in, don't rush and - she will - every time!
Your other half will be very grateful, which will intern give nice paybacks for you.

8 people found this helpful