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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Hardcover – May 25, 2004
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"When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man's native tongue," writes clinical sexologist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. in She Comes First, a straightforward, intimate, and exuberant guide to cunnilingus. Kerner first explored "the oral caress" as a way of compensating for his "sexual inadequacies," and quickly learned that women not only welcomed but often preferred "the way of the tongue," reaching orgasm more consistently than through intercourse. Kerner educates readers about the clitoris, "the powerhouse of pleasure," with 18 parts and 8,000 nerve endings (twice as many as the penis) and describes female sexual response from "foreplay" through "coreplay" to "moreplay." A large part of the book is a graphic, detailed primer on "mouth music," including best positions, step-by-step techniques (illustrated), and tips for tongue and fingers. How long should this last? Until the woman has an orgasm or many, says Kerner, and "melts blissfully before your eyes." "The vast majority of women complain about guys who don't like to do it, don't know how to do it, or simply don't do it nearly enough," writes Kerner. This book will change that. Women: Buy it for your partner! --Joan Price
From Publishers Weekly
Dispelling the widely held myth of genital penetration as the apogee of sexual pleasure, Kerner, who holds a doctorate in clinical sexology, offers this witty, well-researched manual for "consistently leading women to orgasm" through cunnilingus. Loaded with practical anatomical information (the clitoris has 18 distinct parts, and more nerve fibers than any other part of the human body) and graphic line drawings, the book also touches on the less mechanical, more psychological aspects of oral sex, including the three assurances every woman needs from her lover to feel comfortable: (1) "you enjoy it as much as she does"; (2) "there's no rush"; and (3) "Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence." Since studies show the average woman takes about 20 minutes to reach her first orgasm during a typical sex session, while men take a mere four minutes, Kerner advises men to delay their own climax and make oral sex "coreplay" ("the substantive phase in which sexual tension builds, culminates and then releases itself through the female orgasm"), instead of foreplay. Breaking down six stages of coreplay, from the "first kiss" to orgasm, Kerner speaks to both beginners and more seasoned lovers. His candor concerning his own bout with sexual dysfunction adds a compassionate tone and credibility to this decidedly pro-female methodology.
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Top Customer Reviews
He first tried some of the techniques without telling me about the book. Well, it was wonderfully obvious to me that something had changed and for the better.
This past weekend, we sat together in bed and he showed me the book and we read exerpts that he had marked together. How wonderful is that! We've laughed and played and we have loved...and after all these years, I am now coming first - and for the first time! How glorious is that!
Thank you, Dr.Kerner!She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Every man should read this! Its a bit "textbook" and can read a little slow. I skipped around. Read morePublished 13 days ago by Josh Peppin
The book is very good, has a lot of information that I personally had no idea about the vulva. Its worked well in my sex life and is information i will continue to use.Published 14 days ago by Diante brown
Good for a single man or one in a committed relationship. Take your time reading this book it has a lot of good informationPublished 16 days ago by Danny Tran
I really enjoy all of his books. The way in which he explains a concept and breaks it down to digestible chunks of information makes reading subjects like this one easy and... Read morePublished 16 days ago by mfciers
Definitely helped explain things in a way I couldn't to the man I love. A+++.Published 17 days ago by Teresa J