- Paperback: 256 pages
- Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.; unknown edition (September 1, 2003)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0842360247
- ISBN-13: 978-0842360241
- Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 689 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,150 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage Paperback – Unabridged, September 1, 2003
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About the Author
Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, Today, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison. Dr. Leman has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.
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He really could have used a female coauthor. In the section on how the wife benefits from sex, all the reasons are actually how it will make her husband happier. Which is great and all, but he misses the fact that a woman will ALSO be in a better mood, sleep better, feel more loving, etc. If she is having good sex. In the same vein, he gives lots of attention to how hard sexual rejection is for men, but never mentions that rejection is also extremely hard on women. There are many marriages where the woman has the higher libido and this is given scant attention. If this is your situation, you may not find much to help you here.
It also oversimplifies some things. You could easily read this book and think that if you give your husband great sex, he will turn into a perfect man. While it certainly doesn’t hurt, you will still have problems that need work. That’s just life, and hear me on this: if your husband is sinning, sexually or otherwise, it is NOT your fault! While you can help, his choices are ultimately his responsibility and you should never be motivated to have sex because you are afraid he will stray or be grumpy if you don’t.
On the other hand, it tells husbands that if they are helpful around the house, loving, and kind, then their wives will be sexually responsive. Again, it certainly helps, but sometimes there are way deeper issues going on and no amount of dishwashing and foot rubs is going to change it. In those cases some counseling is probably in order.
Finally, if you aren’t yet married and are reading this book, you may get the impression that the husband will always want sex more than the wife. Please don’t set yourself up for that to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. As a counselor I think he has that bias because he sees marriages in trouble. But I think if you go into marriage with realistic expectations (and your husband heeds the advice here!) you just may enjoy and desire sex every bit as much as your man does.
For women that need more help than this book provides, I highly recommend Sheila Gregoire’s blog or her books.
It brought up great topics for conversation that we just didn't think of and was a fun thing to do during "intermissions." ;)
Definitely would recommend for any couple! Can be a little cheesy with mock conversations and nicknames, but those make for funny banter with your spouse later. :)
Not every part applies to everyone but every marriage can benefit from this book.