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Blog postBullying is not a new phenomenon. Most of us have dealt with a bully at least once in our lives. But times have changed. Technology and social media sites have given bullies a whole new set of weapons. Through text messaging, instant messaging and social media sites, bullies are can create a web of harassment that is very hard to escape.
Take for instance the article I read today about a Georgia middle school student who reported to police and school officials that she had be -
Blog postWell, I haven't been blogging much lately ... but I'd like to think that's because I'm working on the biography I have been assigned by Enslow Publishers (And loving it by the way.) ... But truth be told, my family also keeps me super busy ... between Taekwondo, volunteer work, homework, and chores, I stay pretty busy. Still, I've also found some time to read too and I am VERY happy about that! It is by far my favorite pastime...
So far this year, I have read 14 books ...That -
Blog postCan I read 50 books in one year?When e-readers first came out, I told others I would probably never own one. My reasons? … I liked the feel of a real book, with real pages in my hands….I liked the smell of books … I am a writer, so I wanted to support the publishing industry… I probably would never use it…. You get the point. But then, Amazon came out with the Kindle with Special Offers, lowering the price and catching my interest. Combine that with my shrinking space to store my books and I dec
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Blog postSo grab a book and celebrate!
Nearly a year ago, the New York Times published an article declaring that picture books are no longer a staple for children. Of course, this incited a barrage of responses from authors, librarians and children’s book publishers defending the picture book. And out of this response, the idea to celebrate the picture book one month out of the year was born. In fact, according to the founders, Picture Book Month is an “international initiative to encourage -
Blog postWith National Domestic Violence Awareness Month coming to close in a week, I felt compelled to share some ideas on how the average parent can impact violence in our country. Whether it is teen dating violence or bullying, it is important to realize we are not powerless in this situation. There are things we can do to help prevent this problem. I have listed below the top ways the average parent can have an impact.
Get Educated. Gather information about teen dating violence and bully -
Blog postSeventy YA authors have shared their stories to create a compelling look inside the pervasive issue of bullying in the book Dear Bully by Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones. Set to release this month, this book is the ideal conversation starter for parents, teachers, pastors and counselors. And most importantly, kids can relate. So move this book to the top of your "to read" pile. And if you don't want to take my word for it, check out this Goodreads review by Paul W. Hankins
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Blog postAs the start of the new school year approaches, this is the ideal time for parents to talk with kids about the upcoming school year. Although if you are like me, you will probably touch on topics like getting good grades, making good choices and completing homework on time, but you may want to add one more item to your list – bullying.
While you have no way of knowing for sure whether or not your child will be targeted by a bully, statistics indicate that the chances are hig -
Blog postRecently, I had the privilege of attending the Columbus, Ohio SCBWI (Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrator’s) spring conference. Although it was a rainy, dreary day outside, it was anything but dreary inside. The speaking line up was fabulous! We heard from so many wonderful professionals and gathered so much information it has taken me more than a week just to “unpack” it all.
And while I have pages and pages in my notebook of ideas and tips from the brilliant profess -
Blog postFrog in the Pot Check out this post by the author of Tornado Warning. This post contains some great ideas on how to end an abusive dating relationship -- especially for teens!
Make sure you also check out the Safety Planning tips at the top of the page for more great links!
And if you want some great info on teen dating, see this link detailing a new program Dating Matters -
Blog postToday is Support Teen Lit Day, an annual celebration to raise awareness among the general public that young adult literature is alive and happening with so much to offer today’s teens. To help make the day even more special, there is really cool literacy project that has been showing up EVERYWHERE on Twitter today. It's called ROCK THE DROP and here's how it works:
Organizers at the Readergirlz literacy project are encouraging people around the country to drop young adult books off -
Blog postBritish parents are in an uproar right now. Apparently, the country's education secretary came back from a trip to the U.S. in March (uh oh) and announced that every child over the age of 11 should be reading fifty books a year. On average, that equals out to about a book a week. For some kids, this is happening already. In fact, I know some children who read a book a day sometimes.
But what people are protesting about, is the fact that "requiring" reading may not equ -
Blog postWrite On!: Raising Readers In The Digital Age: "Can eBooks get reluctant teens to read? Let’s face it. Our kids’ lives are hectic – busy beyond belief. Combine this with a plethora of tec..."
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Blog postWrite On!: To Read or Not to Read 50 Books A Year!: "British parents are in an uproar right now. Apparently, the country's education secretary came back from a trip to the U.S. in March (u..."
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Blog postCan eBooks get reluctant teens to read?
Let’s face it. Our kids’ lives are hectic – busy beyond belief. Combine this with a plethora of technology begging for their attention, and is it any wonder that reading for pleasure often takes a backseat to everything else? In fact, there is no denying that the Internet, social media, twitter and text messaging have changed what it means to read (and write for that matter) in the Digital Age.
In fact, research shows that as kids -
Blog postCommentary
Today is a sad day in Columbus, Ohio as we come to grips with the news. Yesterday, the body of 25-year-old Summer Inmand from Logan, Ohio was found in a septic tank -- a victim of a horrible crime. Not only was she abducted and taken from her three children, but she was brutally murdered.
Although police are not indicating yet if her husband and in-laws will be charged with her murder and kidnapping, to those familiar with domestic violence we can see the -
Blog postI have been shocked, as I am sure you have been, by the outlandish remarks made recently by Charlie Sheen. But what bothers me even more is the clear pattern of domestic violence in his life. He has taken his abuse to another level now by insulting his boss. All you need to do is search for his quotes online and you can see an underlying current of abuse and sense of entitlement.
For instance, he was quoted in one interview as denying any abusive actions, but admitting that he loves -
Blog postToday is Read Across America day. A day when schools, teachers and parents encourage kids to read. Fortunately for me, both my kids enjoy reading. So getting them to read is not the issue. The problem I face is a more complicated one. Now that my daughter is on the cusp of middle school, I am more concerned with "what" she is reading than "if" or "when" she is reading.
To give you an example, a recent trip to Barnes and Noble comes to mind. My daughter -
Blog postToday, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at my church about domestic abuse during the "Is This Normal?" seminar. This was both a privilege and an honor. And, the timing was perfect. Not only did it occur just in time for Valentine's Day -- a day when people are thinking about their relationships, but it also occurred during Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month!
It is my passion that all women, especially young women, learn how to spot an unhealthy rel -
Blog postThe first time physical abuse occurs in a relationship, it can be very confusing. For many, it can appear to have come out of nowhere. In all likelihood, your partner was not physically abusive in the early stages of your relationship. In fact, it is rare for abusive people to assault their partners before beginning a pattern of verbal and emotional abuse.
But, if you examine your relationship, you should be able to identify other aspects of abuse. Most abusers engage in other beha -
Blog postFollowing is my 10-year-old daughter's description of honesty. After reading it, I was amazed at her insight and understanding. Quite honestly, she understands honesty more than most of us adults. Enjoy!
Honesty is the color of orange like a burning hot fire.
It tastes like sweet, melted sugar in your mouth.
It smells like a beautiful chrysanthemum in the open spring field.
For fun, it likes to jump into people's heads and remind them to be honest.
Whe -
Blog post"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
As you can see from reading this familiar passage found in 1 Corinthians 13 love has many definitions. But, abuse is not one of them. -
Blog postWe have all heard the statement, “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours.” It communicates a sense of sharing and oneness. But when it comes to financial abuse, the statement is distorted into something more like this – “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.” The relationship is no longer equal, but represents an imbalance of power. And, this is exactly what happens with financial abuse.
Financial abuse is an extension of emotional abuse. But because it is so prevale -
Blog postAnyone who knows me knows I am usually a stickler when it comes to bedtime. Most nights, my children are tucked into bed before 9 p.m. and it is rare that I budge from their bedtime. However, with summer rolling in (and lightning bugs begging to be caught), I find it harder and harder to make the bedtime stick. In fact, I have to confess that bedtime has been happening later and later in the days since school has been out.
But, that is all about to change. Tonight, I read a study th -
Blog postEmotional abuse is one the hardest forms of abuse to detect. It is both subtle and insidious, chipping away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in her perceptions and self-concept. The repeating messages are “you are not good enough” or “you will never measure up.” Although these exact words may never be spoken, the message is conveyed in other ways such as blaming, criticizing, invalidating, minimizing and denying. The underlying goal behind emotional abuse is to disc
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Blog postWarning – This post contains mature content and may not be appropriate for all readers. Proceed with caution.
When people think about sexual abuse, they often think of rape and sexual assault. They might even think of incest or molestation. But experts suggest there is more than to sexual abuse than forced sexual activity. There is an emotional element to sexual abuse that can include manipulation, coercion, pressuring, insults, threats and criticisms.
Sexually abusive -
Blog postDefinitions have intrigued people since ancient times. For instance, Plato's early dialogues portray Socrates raising questions about definitions. People today still question definitions. For me, definitions are extremely challenging – especially when it comes to defining abuse. My desire is that the definitions would be all inclusive, but this is not easy. Still, I know for people to understand abuse, they have to know what it is.
So for the next month or so, I will define various -
Blog postLast month, a local high school girl was shot accidentally by her brother. The bullet was intended for his girlfriend. And, several months ago, a 22-year-old college student was murdered by her boyfriend. It seems like daily we hear or read something about teen dating violence and the tragedy that can unfold. Given the fact that one in three young people experience dating violence in their lifetimes, this should not be surprising.
Still, something has to be done to prevent this viol -
Blog postWhen 22-year-old, University of Virginia student Yeardley Love was found brutally murdered in her apartment earlier this month, the tragedy left the college community stunned and groping for answers. The emerging details surrounding her death were equally troubling. Reports indicated that Love’s former boyfriend George Huguely, also a student at the university, admitted to kicking in her door, shaking her violently and repeatedly hitting her head against the wall.
Now people find t -
Blog postIt's hard to believe summer is almost here -- the time when we get to kick back and relax. For many of us, summer is the perfect opportunity to catch up on that list of books we've been meaning to read. Meanwhile, our kids look at summer as a time to put as much distance between them and books as possible.
But according to reading experts, children who don't read over the summer lose half a grade level of reading skills. Conversely, students who participate in summer reading progra -
Blog postThis week is Right To Read week at my children’s school, which made me think about the state of reading in this country (again!). Sadly, reading seems to be on the decline. In fact, according to a study called To Read or Not to Read, the number of 17-year-olds who say they never read for pleasure has doubled in the past twenty years!
This fact does not surprise me. Not only are kids scheduled to the max, but they are constantly plugged in. Whether it is a computer, a video game, a -
Blog postLast month, I talked about boundaries/limitations from a Christian perspective. This month, I wanted to share some thoughts about how to establish effective limitations or boundaries with an abusive person.
For the victim, setting boundaries or establishing limitations is an important part of the healing process. Not only can effective boundaries be useful in keeping you safe, but the process allows you to get in touch with who you really are -- the person that God has called you to -
Blog postHave you ever looked around your home to see how many books you have? Do you have more than you can handle? If so, it could be a good indication that your kids will be successful in school. According to a new study from the University of Nevada, researchers found that children who live in homes with a lot of books – either children’s books or adult books – continued their educations three years longer on average than kids whose families had little or no books as home!
But what about -
Blog postA personal commentary on boundaries from a Christian perspective
The term boundary seems to stir up heated debates among Christians. Some believe boundaries in a relationship or a marriage are not Biblical and simply should not be used while others feel they are absolutely necessary in dealing with abusive and/or addictive behaviors.
I personally feel that part of the problem may be with semantics. Perhaps instead of calling something a boundary (which implies that ther -
Blog postDealing with Abuse in a Relationship
There are no quick fixes when it comes to domestic abuse. So if you believe you may be experiencing abuse, the first step is to get educated. Learn about the types and signs of abuse, look for a pattern in the abusive behavior and discover different techniques for keeping you (and your children if you have them) safe. Once equipped with this information, you will be better able to plan your course of action. Every relationship is different, so ev -
Blog postAbuse is not a one time incident. There is a distinct pattern and cycle to abuse. And, over time, without help or intervention it will get worse.
Abuse usually consists of three stages. The tension building phase, the incident phase, the make-up/calm phase. Sometimes experts refer to the stages as “build up,” “blow up” and “make up.” There is no set amount of time that each phase lasts nor is there a set amount of time it takes to complete the cycle. Every relationship is different. -
Blog postWe’re all familiar with the song Don’t Worry, Be Happy. We may have even quoted it a time or two. But when it comes to kids and worry – sometimes that statement is easier said than done.
Sure, kids don’t have bills to pay, elderly parents to care for or jobs that stress them out. But, just like us, they have their share of daily demands. They have grades to think about and tests to take. They have problems with friends and concerns about extracurricular activities. They also may be -
Blog postDid you know that ...In one school day, 65 children will learn they have cancer?Every five minutes, someone is diagnosed with a blood cancer?Leukemia is the number one cancer causing death in children? For this reason, my kids' school, Pickerington Elementary, is collecting spare change and other donations to support the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. This money will be raised in honor of central Ohio children who are battling the effects of blood cancers.
If you would like to make a -
Blog postSometimes people limit the definition of “abuse” to physical abuse. If a person is not hit, punched or beaten, then others don’t believe the relationship is abusive. Unfortunately, there is more to abuse than bumps and bruises. Abuse is an insidious way for one person to exert power over another person. There are many facets to abuse including physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, sexual assault and stalking. Some examples of abusive behaviors include:
Criticiz -
Blog postUse the following checklist to determine if your dating relationship is abusive or could become abusive. Keep in mind these are guidelines and cues to pay attention to – they are not meant to serve as a judgment on the worth of another person. Question relationships with partners who:
Exhibit poor impulse control
Examples include: abusing alcohol or drugs, gambling, using pornography; having a history of fighting, lawbreaking or destroying property; driving recklessly; showing -
Blog postThank you for visiting "Beyond Bruises," which is an educational blog exploring the dynamics of abuse. Currently, this blog is under construction. Once complete it will feature information about all aspects of abuse and what we, as a community, can do to put an end to it. Please check back in a month. Or, sign up to be a follower. You will be updated when the blog is up and running.
Sincerely,
Sherri Gordon -
Blog postToday, January 21, is National Thank Your Mentor Day and I thought it was the perfect way to begin my blog for 2010. Take some time today to think about the mentors in your life and post a tribute to them. You can post your comments on this blog, send your mentors an e-mail, call them or even write them a thank you note. Many times, people speak into our lives without even realizing it and it is good to let them know how they have impacted you.
For instance, here are some the positi
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Coping with Online Flaming and Trolling
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Coping with Bipolar Disorder
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Be Smart about Money: Money Management and Budgeting (Be Smart about Money and Financial Literacy)
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