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A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage: The Essentials for Long-Lasting Togetherness Hardcover – October 6, 2009
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About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
This short guide is the culmination of years of study and research by Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, a family therapist with more than 25 years experience. O'Neill tells that she has used hundreds of self-help books poured over by couples in search of answers. This missive presents twenty insightful and, in some ways, surprising suggestions to help couples recapture and maintain the romance and closeness that she says needs to be an integral part of marriage.
Not Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill's first book, A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage is the author's third work. Lurning: 147 Inspiring Thoughts for Learning on the Job, published in 1993 and 98 pages, is exactly what the title reads: inspiring thoughts for learning on the job. Sheltering Thoughts, publication in June 2005 and 148 pages, on the other hand, offers words of understanding for the family who has lost a family member. At 64 pages, her latest book is the shortest of her publications.
Believing that marriage can only work as a team effort, O'Neill gives the following insight.
"Here's a little philosophy to set the stage. Many have conceptualized marriage as tedious, lifelong work, day in and day out. That's enough to make anyone ponder jumping ship. Marriage, to me, is better thought of as a creative work in progress.Read more ›
|Length: 3:08 Mins|
BK: In your book, A Short Guide To A Happy Marriage, you said a couple has to have a sense of a team spirit to have a great marriage. How can a couple discover that? Or is team spirit something that comes instinctively?
SO: Team spirit is something that develops as a couple comes together--though talking, dating, or living together. Without it, couples shouldn't get married. There are, of course, different levels of a team spirit, and it can be crushed or shut down. When couples come to me, we have to get it up and going. It's behind the reason they got married.
BK: You talk about how important it is for a couple to find an activity that both partners enjoy doing together. I mentioned this to Bruce Cadle, the Date Night Chef, and he said that a weekly shared meal, which becomes a ritual, adds meaning to a marriage.
SO: Right. But it's not about trying to capture what you did before marriage. Rather, it's something you share together. It doesn't have to be a meal. It could be bowling. Because if you know that even during the busiest week you are going to come together and do whatever it is that you do--that's what adds meaning to a marriage.
BK: What about you and your husband?
SO: One of the most important things in our lives is cooking our Thursday night meal together. Nothing on earth, except the gravest emergencies, interferes with us having that meal together! We've been doing it for fifteen years.
BK: You also mentioned that touching is an aphrodisiac. I'm curious how you figured that out.Read more ›
The advice given is good, but doesn't address underlying problems. For instance, one advice given is to share your day with your spouse, but doesn't ask why you're not doing that already. What if your spouse has nothing in common with you? Then sharing your day will bore them, which you'll notice, and will lose your motivation to do again.
Another advice given is not to have separate bank accounts, but again, doesn't ask why you don't already. What if your spouse is too irresponsible with money and you don't feel safe sharing? Another advice given is to always act like a team, but what if the reason you don't already is because you two are so wide apart in values that you can't relate to each other?
Simply following Do This/Don't Do That advice won't give you a happy marriage. You'll have a better shot at that by marrying someone you're compatible with in the first place. When you're compatible with someone, you needn't make a mental note to ask about their day, or share your money with them, or act like a team. You'll be doing that anyway.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I really love this book and it has provided very good and simple advicePublished 12 months ago by Amazon Customer
Too short and too vague to really be helpful
5 min read
8 more words required but nothing else to say
"good" but not "excellent". Not very meaty, nor much content or insight. Short book, of course, so maybe not reasonable to expect more.Published on October 11, 2013 by Michael D. Beck
I could not believe that a book of 10-15 pages would cost this much with no "insight" into helps and guides.Published on January 4, 2013 by Megan's
This book is what it says...."A Short Guide..." however it is very enlightening in ways that are simple and practical. Read morePublished on July 26, 2012 by MrsCrash
This book was the biggest disappointment I've had since owning a Kindle. It was not worth the money at all and contained little helpful advice ("... Read morePublished on October 5, 2011 by M. E. Baney
Downloaded to my kindle thinking it would be somewhat of a Kindle single (at 60 pages for the hardcover version). Read morePublished on September 9, 2011 by A.Richter
A very thoughtful piece of writing!
Most writers decide to take what should be put into a small book like this and create a novel, or multiple novels, and waste our time... Read more