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A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage: The Essentials for Long-Lasting Togetherness Hardcover – October 6, 2009
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Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
About the Author
Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, Ed. S, is a marriage and family therapist who has always been obsessed with how and why relationships last. She has been in practice for over 25 years. Her website is www.shelteringthoughts.com. She lives in Westchester County, NY with her husband and son.
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BK: In your book, A Short Guide To A Happy Marriage, you said a couple has to have a sense of a team spirit to have a great marriage. How can a couple discover that? Or is team spirit something that comes instinctively?
SO: Team spirit is something that develops as a couple comes together--though talking, dating, or living together. Without it, couples shouldn't get married. There are, of course, different levels of a team spirit, and it can be crushed or shut down. When couples come to me, we have to get it up and going. It's behind the reason they got married.
BK: You talk about how important it is for a couple to find an activity that both partners enjoy doing together. I mentioned this to Bruce Cadle, the Date Night Chef, and he said that a weekly shared meal, which becomes a ritual, adds meaning to a marriage.
SO: Right. But it's not about trying to capture what you did before marriage. Rather, it's something you share together. It doesn't have to be a meal. It could be bowling. Because if you know that even during the busiest week you are going to come together and do whatever it is that you do--that's what adds meaning to a marriage.
BK: What about you and your husband?
SO: One of the most important things in our lives is cooking our Thursday night meal together. Nothing on earth, except the gravest emergencies, interferes with us having that meal together! We've been doing it for fifteen years.
BK: You also mentioned that touching is an aphrodisiac. I'm curious how you figured that out. The research shows it, but I haven't seen any popular writers put it that way.
SO: Yes, but touching is different than having sex. It's not an aphrodisiac everyday, of course, but it can lead to it. If you can count on it happening every day, a certain type of hug, or sitting on the couch together, by the end of that week, you will be more likely to be up for sex.
These highlights from our discussion show how well versed Sharon is in the art of making your marriage exciting and meaningful. After you read Sharon's book, you might want to consider two other book's which complement hers. If you need help with finding a regular activity to enhance your marriage, get Brue Cadle's Party For Two: Fun, Fancy & Easy Romantic Recipes from The Date Night Chef
For more information about how to make your marriage more exciting, see Successful Second Marriages by Patricia Babush. She'll help you to keep your marriage together by showing you how to learn important lessons from your previous relationships.
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Most writers decide to take what should be put into a small book like this and create a novel, or multiple novels, and waste our time...Read more