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Peter D. Kramer

Should You Leave?: A Psychiatrist Explores Intimacy and Autonomy--and the Nature of Advice Paperback – January 1, 1999

by Peter D. Kramer (Author)

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"A stunning and moving look at the many- layered complexities of intimacy" (Kirkus Review) by the bestselling author of Listening to Prozac

How do we choose our partners? How well do we know them? How do mood states affect our assessment of them and theirs of us? What does "working on a relationship" truly entail? When should we try to improve a relationship, and when should we leave? Leading psychiatrist Peter Kramer presents an intelligent, compassionate eye on the complexities of partnerships and why intimacy is so difficult for us. With the art of a novelist and the skill of a brilliant psychiatrist, Kramer addresses advice seekers struggling with such complex questions

Equally at home with Shakespeare, Emerson, and Kierkegaard as it is with Freud and Jung, Should You Leave is a literary tour de force from a uniquely insightful observer and a profoundly resonant and helpful approach to resolving dilemmas of the heart.

Print length

336 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Penguin Books
Publication date

January 1, 1999
Dimensions

5.38 x 0.69 x 7.95 inches
ISBN-10

0140272798
ISBN-13

978-0140272796
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Beautifully illustrating the passion, curiosity, intellect, and sensitivity therapists bring to their work, Kramer has produced a tour de force, a book of non-advice more illuminating than any how-to could ever be." --Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Peter D. Kramer, M.D., recently named host of the national, weekly public radio series, The Infinite Mind, is "possibly the best-known psychiatrist in America," as The New York Times put it. Peter Kramer received his M.D. from Harvard and is the best-selling author of Listening to Prozac, Should You Leave?, Spectacular Happiness, and Moments of Engagement. His latest book, Against Depression, will be published in May 2005.In 2004, two programs of The Infinite Mind hosted by Kramer won top media awards: a Gracie Allen Award from the American Women in Radio and Television for an examination of "Domestic Violence" and a National Mental Health Association Media Award for “Between Two Worlds: Mental Health for Immigrants. Kramer has written for The New York Times Magazine and The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post Book Review, The Washington Post, the (London) Times Literary Supplement and U.S. News & World Report, among other publications. He lives in Providence, Rhode Island, where he is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University, and has a private practice.
Visit Dr. Peter D. Kramer on the web: http://www.peterdkramer.com
The Infinite Mind: http://www.theinfinitemind.com/

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Books; English Language edition (January 1, 1999)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0140272798
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0140272796
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.38 x 0.69 x 7.95 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,141,352 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,085 in Popular Psychology Counseling
- #5,068 in Love & Romance (Books)
- #19,887 in Personal Transformation Self-Help

Customer Reviews:
39 ratings

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Peter D. Kramer
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Peter D. Kramer (Death of the Great Man, Post Hill Press) is the author of eight books, including Ordinarily Well, Against Depression, Should You Leave?, the novel Spectacular Happiness, and the international (and New York Times) bestseller Listening to Prozac. He has appeared on the major broadcast news and talk shows, including Today, Good Morning America, Oprah, Charlie Rose, and Fresh Air. His essays, op-eds, and book reviews have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Slate, Times Literary Supplement, and elsewhere. Dr. Kramer recently retired from the practice of psychiatry to write full time. He lives in Providence, Rhode Island, where he is an emeritus professor at Brown University.
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Customer reviews

5 star		49%
4 star		25%
3 star		12%
2 star		7%
1 star		7%

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Historied

when the book is far more useful and interesting than that

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 23, 2014

Verified Purchase

This book is really mis-titled. It should be called: "consider staying" and is really an exploration of relationships and how they get stuck and what to do about it. It tends to say as per Yogi Berra: "it ain't over until it's over". Assuming that there is no violence or heavy abuse, staying with a relationship through rough stretches until it is either really over or healed, is what Peter Kramer has found works with many of his therapy patients. Otherwise we will go find another relationship that repeats the structure of the one we have not seen through to an end or a new beginning. The title can be a problem if you partner finds you reading it as they think you are likely off over the horizon and reading about how to do it, when the book is far more useful and interesting than that. Each chapter is based around a case study of a particular relationship Peter Kramer has tried to assist. Several friends found this book I leant them (an earlier copy as one of them kept my copy) very helpful to understand their relationship better. The author writes well and cogently but I guess it may not be the how to leave book the title promises.

16 people found this helpful

Helpful

Damon LaBarbera, PhD

Book on Advice Giving

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 26, 2021

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An informed and informative book, by psychiatrist Peter Kramer, on the nature of relationships, separation, and the giving of advice on those matters. Thoughtful and reflective, the book provides vignettes from Kramer's own work about the nature of attraction, marriage, and the complexities of staying or leaving a partner.

Helpful

recovering spouse

Not For Spouses of People with Severe Mental Illness

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 1, 2021

Verified Purchase

My husband has schizophrenia that manifested after our marriage.

What I take from this book is people marry peoplr with similar issues, and that one shouldn't leave. If you do leave, you have a problem. In fact he casts dispersions on people who leave a mentally ill spouse.

I'd like him to walk a mile in the shoes of people married to spouses who don't shower or brush their teeth for weeks, wake up yelling in the middle of the night, or rarely communicate.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Linda Witt

A must read for all therapists!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on November 30, 2013

Verified Purchase

This is an essential book for anyone who is a marriage therapist or patient in marriage counseling. It is very clearly written and one of the best books I have read on this subject in the last 20 years.

5 people found this helpful

Helpful

Barbs

Three Stars

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 27, 2017

hard read

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 24, 2013

Verified Purchase

This is a wonderful book, so easy to read, so relevant. I recommend it to anyone wanting to increase their insights into human psychology.

2 people found this helpful

Helpful

laurac

Horrible

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 31, 2014

Verified Purchase

I read the first 3 chapters and I have no idea what this guy is writing about. Is it a biography ? A self help book? It's written so bizarrely. I want my money back!

6 people found this helpful

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Noreen Agis

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 16, 2015

Verified Purchase

My son is reading this and it gives him the information he was looking for

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BRENDA WHITING

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on October 29, 2015

Verified Purchase

Helpful read

One person found this helpful

FRANCISCO

Failed or passed relationships.

Reviewed in Spain 🇪🇸 on September 10, 2013

Verified Purchase

At firs it seems to be a collection of clinical cases concerning the attitude to be taken in several types of relationships by the patients,but the innervisions approached by this author make the book worth to be read. Not a easy reading althougt profitable reading.

Brendon J. Robinson

This book came highly recommended to me

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on June 11, 2015

Verified Purchase

This book came highly recommended to me. I was disappointed by it. The author probably has some good advice but the book is not well written.

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Should You Leave?: A Psychiatrist Explores Intimacy and Autonomy--and the Nature of Advice Paperback – January 1, 1999

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