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Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: Live in the Present, Find Your Future Hardcover – December 25, 2003

4.3 out of 5 stars 7 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Reading a Parrott book is like listening to a wise, trusted friend help you sort out your problems with warmth and compassion. In this instance, the problem is regret, which the author believes can serve as a springboard to a better life once it's dealt with effectively. Parrott, a bestselling CBA author and clinical psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, leads readers through a series of practical steps toward a regret-free life, culminating in a deeper appreciation for God's grace. He clearly presents the faith-based material through his seemingly effortless writing style, conversational tone, innate sense of structure and frequent use of fresh anecdotes. He's also vulnerable, exposing some of his own regrets. In fact, his personal experiences, coupled with the regrets he has heard others express, prompted him to write Shoulda ("I decided I'd regret it if I didn't write this book," he quips). The first of three sections indirectly defines the potential audience: "Every honest human has regrets," he writes in "We All Have Regrets." A second section, "When Regret Turns Toxic," deals with issues such as shame and blaming others, while the third, "Living Without Regret," promises to put an end to feelings of defeat and false guilt. Each of the 12 chapters ends with questions for reflection, and a number of self-assessment tests are sprinkled throughout.
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Review

' Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda is for anyone who wants to break free from the past and focus fully on the present and future.' -- Christian Single -- Michael White <br><br> (Christian Single -- Michael White)
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Zondervan; 1 edition (December 25, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0310224608
  • ISBN-13: 978-0310224600
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 0.9 x 5.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,301,182 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
The premise of this book is captured by the title itself: "Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda". The realization that our lives are impacted by regrets, "if only's" and guilt is hardly a new concept, but it is presented very logically and clearly here.
Les starts with some insights into how our regrets for things done, or more impactfully those things not done, can have a dramatic influence on how we view our present. Perhaps there are no more powerful influences that affect us than those we carry around with us everyday. To some degree, all of us are affected by how we later interpret our actions and inactions in relationships and work. Sometimes these decisions haunt us decades later, and keep us from acting today.
The book is broken into chapter topics, and includes quizzes, assessments, study questions and examples. If motivated, I think that one could get some pretty profound insights into current behavioral patterns by just completing the self assessments and becoming more aware of how much we really are defined at times by things we ought to let go of and move on. The section on guilt is outstanding, and is presented in a manner which is easily understood. One key is differentiating between the guilt that is valid and requires action, and false guilt which serves to keep us from doing what is needed to build relationships and experience life more fully.
The book is written well, in a conversational tone. For me, it really did feel conversational as I took classes from Les at SPU and have spoken with him on enough occasions to "hear" him while reading. The concepts are not new, and ironically I was working through them when I met Les nearly 14 years ago.
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Format: Audio CD Verified Purchase
I dont have anything agaist religion, but there should be more of a psychological component to working thru regret. He just talks about the having regrets, not how to handle them. and when he does touch upon how to rid yourself of such a terrible feeling, its all about "putting yourself in Gods hands, letting him take care of it and how he will forgive you". NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING~
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
A long time ago (25 years) our private counseling business had a concern
about regrets. We could only find one book on Regrets. Now there are a
number of then. SCW is really top notch.......great help in designing a class
on Regret.
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Format: Hardcover
We all have regrets. After all, we're human. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda shows us how we can rid ourselves of regret, even the regret that has become guilt or shame. In simple language Shoulda Coulda Woulda helps us distinguish real guilt with false guilt and with feeling those guilty feelings and actual guilt.

Read this book with an open mind and learn how to heal damaged emotions and relationships. Shoulda Coulda Woulda asks us to take a hard look at unhealthy perfectionism. It also asks us to forgive ourselves and others and to bring closure to past hurts. Making good decisions, will, Dr. Perrott says, help prevent future regrets from piling up and becoming an unmanageable part of our lives.

The book also includes self-assement tools and questions. Also note: Dr. Parrott believes that we all need God's grace to free us.

This book is old information presented in a new way. The fact that there is nothing new does not mean it's less valuable however.
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