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Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Paperback – December 14, 2004
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With a title like this, it's no surprise that authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish had a monster bestseller on their hands when the book first appeared in 1988. From the subsequent deluge of readers' stories, questions, and issues, they have created nearly 50 pages of new material for this, the 10th anniversary edition. The central message remains the same, and sounds almost too simple: avoid comparisons. But parents know that's easier said than done. The value of Faber and Mazlish's discussions is precisely that they talk you through umpteen different situations and outcomes to help you teach your brawling offspring a new set of responses. The highly informative text is punctuated with helpful summary/reminder boxes and cartoons illustrating key points. It's a must-read for parents with (or planning on) multiple children. But parents of young children who get along fine (so far) should read it too--as the authors make very clear, rivalry is inevitable. The only question is how to manage the rivalry with intelligence and compassion, and on that subject they offer a wealth of good advice. --Richard Farr
From Library Journal
Disciples of the late Haim Ginott, a child psychologist, Faber and Mazlish have conducted workshops on family relationships and co-authored Liberated Parents, Liberated Children (Avon, 1975) and How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (Rawson Wade, 1980). The present book states that sibling rivalry stems from jealousy similar to that a spouse might feel if asked to welcome another husband or wife into the household. It outlines ways to defuse such explosive situations as comparing, assigning roles, or taking sides and suggests specific remedies to avoid conflict. Cartoon-like illustrations and "quick reminders" help reinforce new behavior. A welcome assist over the rough times that too often leave lifetime scars. Suzanne Druehl, Little Rock Public Library, Ark.
Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
Top customer reviews
This little guidebook with it's simple illustrations, many stories and pragmatic wisdom is just one of the books from the La Leche League circle that made so much sense and the ideas work!
It allowed me-so much-to disengage from the drama and put the experience where it needed to be....conflict and resolution building skills for my kids. It also really pointed out how damaging or inspiring we can help our children make their sibling relationships be through what comments slip out of our mouth-often from our own history.
The book does a wonderful job of educating a parent about how our behaviors and expectations create the relationship between the children. If we want a different response we need to behave in a different way. Wonderful book.