Other Sellers on Amazon
Sinbad of the Seven Seas
A dazzling adventure of faraway lands and heroic spectacles, this heart-soaring epic follows the brave Sinbad the Sailor (Lou Ferrigno, "The Incredible Hulk") in a rousing tale based on Edgar Allan Poe's short story "The Thousand-and-Second Tale of Scheherazade." When an evil wizard named Jaffar casts a cruel spell, a good king and his happy kingdom face darkness for the first time ever.And when Jaffar demands marriage to the king's beautiful daughter, who is already engaged to a handsome prince, it will be up to Sinbad and his loyal companions to save the princess and the people ofthe kingdom. But first, he must retrieve the palace gems Jaffar has stolen and hidden away and facethe Amazon Queen, the Ghost King and the most vicious beast imaginable along the way!
Would you like to tell us about a lower price?
If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support?
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
From what I've read about this movie, it sat uncompleted for a while when Cannon went bankrupt then was finished later on, but Enzo Castellari (the original director) wasn't avialable to finish the movie, so they got Luigi Cozzi (who helmed both of Ferrigno's Hercules pics plus the completely ridiculous StarCrash) to come in and finish it. Unfortunately they had lost a good chunk of the sound so they use a narrator (a mom telling her kid a bedtime story a la The Princess Bride) who incessantly drones on to patch the story together (she even talks over scenes where the characters are clearly talking to each other, just like in The Creeping Terror).
So... to say this movie is a disjointed, terrible mess is being too kind. It is however, the kind of happy accident that produces a film that is insanely, hilariously entertaining for anyone who likes bad movies (in fact, this is my wife's absolute favorite bad movie).
Things to watch for:
-The pre-credits screen crawl that claims this SINBAD movie is based off a short story by Edgar Allen Poe (complete with Poe's picture behind the text).
-Sinbad's heart to heart chat with a bunch of rubber snakes. Its literally an "I know how you feel girlfriend" type of talk that includes "Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you" only to follow with Sinbad tying them together and using them to climb out of a pit.
-Jaffar the evil wizard. OMG, this guy overacts with the strength of ten Shatners! Everythings is wide eyes, flared nostrils, dramatic pauses... all in the service of such great lines as: "In the name of all that is evil... BUDGE! BUDGE!!!!!"
-Sinbad constantly drawing his sword, then throwing it away (he does this at least three times). One of the only times he actually uses his sword is when fighting a rock monster. That doesn't work so he throws a rock at it instead (which does work).
-Sinbad punching the head off a ghost (my wife almost pees her pants each time she sees this scene, its her favorite scene in any movie ever made).
-The scene where the true identity of the Amazon princess is revealed. She's not a young African beauty but a *gasp* old Italian woman in blackface!
-Kantu, the "Chinese Soldier of Fortune" as he's called by the narrator. He's in sneakers and a rainbow skirt, he spouts "Confucius say" proverbs, he fights in slow motion (always helpful to draw attention to the fact that no one is coming within a foot of striking their enemies) to horrendously stereotypical Asian music (think a Chinese buffet in the 70's), he gets called "slant-eyes" by a villian, and he's listed as "Samurai" in the end credits!
-A myriad of continuity errors! Sinbad's clothes change at random, Jaffar's lair is in the "highest, darkest tower" of a castle yet is several thousand square feet and set over lava, two characters are told to "take care of the monster" and are never seen or heard from again (not to mention there's no monster), Jaffar has one or two or no accomplices in any given shot of any given scene he's in, a knight has feathers in his helmet, then doesn't, then does, etc. etc. etc. you get the idea.
That's the tip of the iceberg, too, I didn't mention the laser shooting swamp thing, the piranah hand puppets, the good "wacky" wizard who acts like a prototype of Charlie Day, or the Captain Crunch pirate ship Sinbad sails in. Grab this movie, some friends and some drinks and you have the makings for a perfect bad movie night.
If the rating seems too generous, keep in mind that I rate films on entertainment value alone. By that criteria, this is absoultely a 5 star movie!
As the film begins we learn it's based off of a story originally written by Edgar Allan Poe titled "The Thousand and Second Tale of Scheherazade". Now, I've never read the story, but I highly doubt the schlock we're in for here will come anywhere near resembling the original source material...soon we're watching as an annoying mother preparing to tell her even more annoying daughter a bedtime story, relating a tale about a sailor named Sinbad, played by Ferrigno, sporting an impressive perm and huge, bouncy pectoral muscles. Seems Sinbad and his band of fun boys, including Prince Ali (Wybenga), a Viking (Ennio Girolami), a bald Greek cook, Poochi the Dwarf, and a Chinese solider of fortune named Kantu (Yamanouchi), sporting sneakers and a rainbow skirt (let your freak flag fly, brother) are returning to the paradise city of Basra, ruled by the benevolent Calif Pal (Hodson), whose daughter the Princess Alina (Martines) is set to marry Prince Ali...but the celebration never begins as the evil vizier Jaffar (Steiner) casts a wicked spell over the city, banishing the sacred gems, all in an effort to claim the princess for his own....or something like that. Now Sinbad and his crew of flaming homersexuals set out for the four corners of the Earth to recover the sacred gems and save the princess from the evil, hammy clutches of the sinister Jaffar. One is located on the Island of Warrior Women, protected by an Amazon queen who's also a mind vampire, two more are located somewhere on the Isle of the Dead, and the fourth in `a place of great peril'...whatever. The boys end up facing all sorts of comically menacing foes on their journey, riddled with homoeroticism, before they finally return to Basra to face off against Jaffar in a completely ridiculous showdown...
This Italian production wasn't just bad, it was epically bad...the Cannon film group churned out a lot of crud in the 1980s before they went belly up, but this has to be one of their worst features I've seen so far, and that's saying a lot. The acting is beyond atrocious, followed only by the script, which was moronic beyond belief. Here's a few juicy excerpts...
This first one comes from Jaffar as Sinbad learns the evil vizier has taken over Basra...
Jaffar: The extraordinary powers that I possess make me top of the heap around here.
This next, golden nugget comes as Jaffar tries desperately to use his magics to remove the last, remaining gem from its holder...
Jaffar: For the last time...I command you, in the name of all that is evil...budge! Budge!
And finally this last bit, also from Jaffar, comes as he plans on squashing Sinbad and his men's attempts to recover the sacred gems...
Jaffar: No one can resist my will...and no one, not Prince Ali...not even his friend Sinbad...a man who I hate more than hate itself...will stand between me and my heart's desire!
A man who I hate more than hate itself? Perhaps Jaffar's blind hatred is so consuming it accounts for his continual stunningly rotten exclamations throughout the picture...sigh...the makers of this film should have just dug up Poe's corpse and violated it ten ways till Sunday rather than release this junk and crediting Poe as their inspiration. I think my favorite scenes are near the beginning. Sinbad, who's in a perpetual state of flexing throughout the film (yeah, we get it, you're all full of muscles...get over yourself already), often seen wearing skintight, purple pants, is locked away in a dungeon, while his men have been captured and taken to a torture chamber, complete with piranha tank (oh geez). The head torture dude proceeds to spew forth some of the worst puns you'll ever hear, and at one point refers to the Asian crewmember as `slant eyes'...oh, that's lovely. Just what I'd want my kids to hear, if I had any...get this later on, as if this wasn't bad enough, the Asian man begins quoting Confucius...argh! Anyway, Sinbad escapes his imprisonment by talking to a bunch of snakes, convincing them to allow him to make a snake rope out of them, telling them how he won't hurt them...yeah, I'm sure supporting his 300+ pound frame did no damage whatsoever to them...he does escape, and rescues his worthless companions in a ridiculously awful, choreographed fight sequence (the film has quite a few of these, many of them filmed in slow motion...argh!). At some point Jaffar hooks up the sorceress Soukra, played by female bodybuilder Teagan Clive (the lumpy female from the health club scene in the John Candy/Eugene Levy movie Armed and Dangerous), whose only purpose seems to be to stand around and trade lame barbs with Jaffar. Some other highlights include Sinbad battling a Styrofoam rock monster, an idiotic goo creature that shoots laser beams from its fingertips, ghost warriors from the Isle of the Dead, and then finally his evil twin as Jaffar creates a demonic clone of Sinbad near the end. I'd like to mention something about the musical scoring here...if you dig on lousy, synthesized music so common in the 1980s, then dig in because you've hit the mother lode here. Also, if you have problems following a film, or are easily distracted, never fear, as remember I told you about how this movie started off as a mother telling this tale as a bedtime story to her daughter? Well, her droning voice chimes in regularly, dumping steaming loads of unnecessary exposition because, apparently, the filmmakers either thought their movie was too difficult to follow on its own, or the audience too dumb to get all that's going on...either way, it's just another annoyance to add to the already lengthy list. I did, in fact, like the various sound effects, for what its worth.
The picture quality on this DVD, presented in widescreen anamorphic (1.85:1), looks decent enough, and the Dolby Digital mono audio comes through clearly (given the rotten dialog and shoddy musical score, maybe this wasn't a good thing). The only extra featured is a theatrical trailer for the film. The film deserves one star, but I am going to give it another just because it was so funny (I wasn't laughing with the film, but at it...).
By the way, both of Lou's Hercules films are also out on DVD, featured on one, glorious DVD.