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Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age Paperback – May 31, 2017
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Single But Dating is very cheeky and fun, I could've used this in my 20s. Dr. Nikki is like your cool single girlfriend who is always telling you to take a break from dating and focus on yourself, except she doesn't expect you to actually give up the fun parts of sex and dating. It's the perfect way to live!
– Jane Marie, writer, radio producer (This American Life) and host of DTR, Tinder's official podcast
Love is vital in our lives and has powerful effects in our brains. Dr. Nikki offers a fresh perspective to help women find this precious gift in our changing world.
-Dr. Mike Dow, NY Times bestselling author of The Brain Fog Fix
Dr. Nikki's book is fun sexy and smart. I love that she shares intimate details about her egg freezing experience. Single But Dating is the new dating rule book for today's woman.
-Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh, Fertility Specialist
Modern dating is constantly changing. In ‘Single But Dating’ Dr Nikki Goldstein establishes and embraces a new relationship status for women. The book is a celebration of single life, and a rejection of the pressures which society has placed on women in the past.
Charly Lester, Founder of The Dating Awards & Dating Expert Academy
A debut guide offers safe and effective dating strategies for the single woman.
In this highly modern take on female singlehood, Goldstein, a well-known Australian doctor of human sexuality who also has a background in family mediation, asks her readers to examine their own histories, desires, and motives as they embrace the “single but dating” lifestyle. As a not traditionally “paired” but sexually active woman, the author noticed that the “single” designation often seemed to elicit pity or shame, but none of the other options (in Facebook parlance, In a Relationship, Married, or It’s Complicated) applied either. She presents the term SBD as shorthand for a lifestyle in which a woman is actively engaged in relationships with the opposite sex. This can include sexual encounters that are extremely casual as well as others that move more slowly and/or have more emotional involvement. Goldstein speaks from experience. Beyond her doctorate and family mediation career, she also personally explored the SBD life and her own perspectives on it, ultimately undergoing important growth and finding a long-term, fulfilling relationship. The book conveys the convincing message that SBD women will do well to seek true self-confidence by understanding their own conditioning, wants, and needs and by learning how to communicate honestly and adroitly with potential or actual partners. This frank and detailed guide succeeds at delivering a balanced discussion of many relationship types, sexual pleasures, and common-sense cautions. A diverse array of often skirted topics―such as sexually transmitted diseases, masturbation, pregnancy risk, egg freezing, and sexual fantasies―is deftly handled alongside considerations of how to communicate meaningfully, avoid dangerous personality types, move on after a breakup, and recognize the readiness for a serious relationship. The first several chapters provide useful exercises in self-exploration, such as jotting down “shoulds” and “should nots” of dating and identifying external sources of these expectations (for example, family, friends, or media). Social media and communication via texting and even sexting, realities of today’s dating scene, are covered skillfully and extensively as well.
Savvy, contemporary, and worthwhile advice on the many facets of the dating life for women. -Kirkus Reviews
Goldstein, a sex and relationships counselor in Australia, parlays her personal and professional experience in the field of romance into an empowering how-to manual for young women looking to play the field. Goldstein, an “open-minded heterosexual female who predominantly dates men,” gears her advice toward her own demographic. Her goal is to combat the negative associations of the label “single” by encouraging readers to navigate their personal lives with confidence and self-awareness, with the goal of happiness. The book fits in the traditional confines of relationship self-help, with exercises and lesson plans at the end of each chapter, but Goldstein’s advice is refreshingly modern and unapologetically candid. The chapter on confidence encourages readers to reflect on the relationship between their sense of self-worth and the media they consume. The chapter on sex explores the fluidity of sexuality while also addressing logistics—for example, she writes that the style of pubic hair is a personal choice that “is more about our body confidence than about a partner’s pleasure.” The best chapters deal with manners and how technology changes the way people date, flirt, and communicate. Goldstein keenly observes that online dating makes us “distracted and disposable.” Her book is filled with practical tips, and is a much-need antidote to the ills of dating today. (Apr.) - Publishers Weekly
Dr. Nikki not only shares incredibly helpful and insightful information on how to navigate dating and enjoying single life in our modern world, she also candidly reveals personal experiences that all readers can relate to. ‘Single But Dating’ is sure to inspire readers.
-Sunny Rodgers, Playboy Radio Host
Dr. Nikki Goldstein tells it like it is in Single but Dating! Thank goodness there is a dating book for the modern woman who wants to enjoy her life while single and dating, not hurry it up to get down the aisle. We love Dr. Nikki's useful tips to milk every ounce of fun and knowledge out of this period in life.
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
The Rules and Not Your Mother’s Rules
Dr. Nikki Goldstein takes a refreshing look at dating and is reframing “happily ever after” for modern daters. If you’re looking for practical advice to ensure that you relish in the journey that is dating, be sure to check out Single But Dating.
Jessica O’Reilly, author of The New Sex Bible
About the Author
Dr. Nikki Goldstein is Australia’s Modern Day Expert on all things relating to sex and relationships. She has a unique ability to normalize the subjects of sex and relationships and her fresh, balanced and candid views make her instantly relatable and approachable. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, a Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling and a Doctorate of Human Sexuality; she is a highly credible authority on the topics of love, sex, dating, romance and relationships. Coming from a background as a family mediator who assisted in the process of divorce, she has an understanding of what makes and breaks relationships. She appears across many media avenues such as TV, Radio, Podcast and Magazines both in the US and Australia.
She also keeps busy regularly posting new tips and advice on her website – www.drnikki.com.au.
Twice voted Australia’s Best Sex Educator, she’s young, bright, honest and has lived many years of her life as a Single-But-Dating (SBD) woman.
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