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Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After Paperback – October 30, 2007
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
“Singled Out may be the single most important book you buy this year.” ―Bookworm Sez
“Gleefully debunks a number of sad-sack "facts." According to DePaulo's myth-busting research, [singles] are every bit as happy, healthy, and long-lived as couples.” ―Seattle Metropolitan
“If you're sick of your family asking, "So when are you gonna settle down?" or your boss saddling you with a fatter workload than your married coworkers, you will love Dr. Bella DePaulo's insightful, irreverent book.” ―Michelle Goodman, author of The Anti 9-to-5 Guide
“An engaging new book that brims with invigorating wit and unparalleled perspective.” ―Tucson Citizen
“Intriguing cultural study . . .DePaulo has given this complicated subject the attention and respect it deserves.” ―Publisher’s Weekly
“DePaulo dismantles [a few other] claims of the pro-marriage lobby.” ―Windy City Times
“Don't miss Bella DePaulo's Singled Out.” ―Sasha Cagen, author of QuirkyAlone
“She has a message for singles and couples alike: If you forget about your nonromantic relationships, you're missing out on a whole lot of love.” ―Santa Barbara News-Press
“An expose of the widespread cultural bias facing unmarried adults in America.” ―Harvard Magazine
“[A] terrific book” ―Amy Alkon, Syndicated Advice Columnist
“A masterpiece…filled with inspirational quotes…Every single should read this book” ―Yuspie (Young Urban Single Professionals of Indiana) Book Club
“[Shows that singles] can be as productive, charming, fun, moral, and wise as their coupled counterparts” ―Virginia Quarterly Review
“DePaulo combines her training as a social psychologist with wit and sharp analysis, bringing the entire "marriage is better" argument down like a house of cards.” ―Windy City Times
Top Customer Reviews
I wrote my original review when only about halfway through this book. I wanted to update the review with my final impressions, which ended up farther toward the positive end of the scale.
In general, I think DePaulo is onto something very important here, insofar as trying to de-pathologize singlehood and encourage the inclusion of many more definitions of relationship and family than is currently allowed. Not only is society already changed beyond going back, it was never the mythological construct we imagined existed in everyone's house but ours.
I enjoyed the book most where DePaulo shines: in sticking to statistics or an academic presentation of facts that help to demythologize both marriage and the single life. This included findings from scholarly studies and a revealing look at how society interprets in different ways behavior that is similar between singles and couples.
The author is least appealing when repeatedly seeming to sneer at or dismiss intimate bonds between couples entirely. One case made for the immaturity of people who marry was facile, denigrating, and two-dimensional. It's not that she didn't present some valid points to consider but it was hard for me as a reader to get beyond what seemed like a fair amount of anger towards the very idea of coupledom.
DePaulo rightly deplores singles being portrayed as cardboard figures with only one thing on their mind: marriage.Read more ›
I had heard of the author when I was an academic and even cited some of her articles in my own research. Then out of the blue, she asked permission to use a quote from me in this book. I was delighted with the request and the topic.
Having read DePaulo's academic articles, I anticipated a superb book and I was not disappointed. In fact, Singled Out vastly exceeded my expectations. I've given away 2 copies. One recipient said she bought 4 more to give away. And we don't usually buy books, let alone give them as gifts.
Unlike many popular psychology authors, DePaulo uses her research training to make significant points. The book is worth reading just to go through Chapter 2, an eye-opening look at the way research results can be distorted to meet an agenda. And any single person will laugh out loud at DePaulo's opening satire: What if we subjected married people to the indignities, frustrations and hassles that single people take for granted.
DePaulo asks, "What does research tell us about the specific benefits of paired relationships?" In fact, it's only in the last hundred years or so that the "pack of two" became privileged in our culture.
After reading Singled Out, I found myself seeing the world differently. I keep picking up hidden messages everywhere, especially movies and television. A singles column in my local paper really should be called relationship seeking. Singles groups? More of the same.
However, I do see signs of hope.Read more ›
"I do wish married people would understand that a lot of singles actually WANT to be single. Why does that bother you?...It is like the story my (happily married) friend...likes to tell about meeting the late Ann Landers, who said, `You tell that Richard Roeper to figure out what's keeping him from getting married and to fix it!'""
The above is found in this meticulously well-researched book by social psychologist Dr. Bella DePaulo (who is unmarried herself). (Specifically, the above quotation comes from an essay written by movie critic (of TV's "At the Movies with Ebert & Roeper") and columnist Richard Roeper's reaction to two married friends who wanted Roeper to get married.)
I think it's important for people to know what social psychology is: it is that branch of psychology that concentrates on any and all aspects of human behaviour that involve persons and their relationships to other persons, groups, social institutions, and to society as a whole. Social psychology exchanges freely ideas, models, and methods with other social sciences, particularly sociology.
This is why I chose this book. It's based on an objective social science (or, at least, it tries to be) and not on subjective opinions. This book is not a "diatribe" or a rant.
The best chapter in this book, in my opinion, has the title, "Science and the Single Person." Here, DePaulo looks at data and their numbers with regard to different kinds of people (single, married, divorced, etc.). She then interprets the data. The final conclusions are eye-opening and completely unexpected.
Then we proceed to examine the myths of being single that form the core of this book.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I would recommend this book because it clearly delineates the problem with how society treats loners.Published 9 days ago by Prabhu
Mostly ranting about society's stereotypes of single people as opposed to offering more positive views and helping single people reframe the negative views and feel better about... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Pen Name
In this book, the author takes careful aim and fires, knocking marriage off its glorious pedestal. All hail singlehood! We should own it. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Michelle Llewellyn
I give Ms. DePaulo a lot of credit for undertaking a thorough-going description of the destructive attitudes toward single people that abound in our society. Read morePublished 3 months ago by future blonde
This is good read for anyone open minded enough to accept it does happen. It was a relief for me to find it and realize I wasn't alone. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Lauralee
If you read only one book this year, read this one. It shows how singles are discriminated against in our society in ways that would never be done for anyone else. Read morePublished 9 months ago by Susan A. Santo