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Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It Paperback – May 17, 2011
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About the Author
Bella DePaulo (PhD, Harvard) is the author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After and of Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship. She has been a Visiting Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara since the summer of 2000. Dr. DePaulo writes the Living Single blog for Psychology Today, and is also a contributor to the Huffington Post. Her op-ed essays have appeared in papers such as the New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, Forbes, and the Chronicle of Higher Education. Bella DePaulo has discussed the place of singles in society on NPR, CNN, and many other media outlets, and her work has been described in newspapers (such as the New York Times and the Washington Post) and magazines (such as Time and Business Week). DePaulo also studies the social psychology of deception, and has provided expert analysis of the topic for the Today show and other network news shows. More information about her background, her books, and her contact information, together with her All Things Single (and More) blog, can be found at her website, www.BellaDePaulo.com. Bella DePaulo has always been single and she is living happily ever after in the lovely little beach community of Summerland, California.
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This book speaks to me, because nobody else seems to care about this problem. It's barely on the RADAR, so I am happy to see someone, especially a female, speaking-directly to me on this issue. It's also mind-boggling that a company would willingly deny opposite-sex couples the same rights enjoyed by gay-couples, even if they don't have to cover them. With marriage on the decline, more and more people will notice this unfair treatment. Of course, this exposes a huge problem with employer-based healthcare. Ideology quite literally prevents me from getting coverage offered to married couples and gay domestic partners working for the same company.
I even considered suing my girlfriend's company but after talking to a lawyer, he said that no lawyer would take a case like this pro-bono and that I probably wouldn't win. Why does my state mandate coverage for gay-couples (through domestic partner benefit-sharing) but doesn't allow this same privilege for opposite-sex cohabiting couples? It's utterly medieval to me. Basically, people who are unmarried are punished, because the government prefers marriage over non-marriage. I utterly reject the idea of marriage because I am an atheist and a realist. I want the right to be unmarried and most marriages end in divorce, even with the best of intentions.
And, if one more person suggests that I should 'just get married' to solve the problem of marital-status discrimination, I'm gonna scream. :) By the way, my girlfriend and I have been together going on 15 years now. The fact that a company would deny us healthcare benefit-sharing is asinine.
In addition her economic arguments ignore one obvious point. Singles jump through more hoops to get loans not because they are more likely to have a higher debt to income ratio with one income. In addition with only one job you are more prone to lose your only source of income in the case of a layoff. The same thing applies to couples where only one spouse works. Like with all banking, it is about the numbers, not your marital status.
On the whole, its kind of sloppy work for an academic.