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My Sister, My Self: Understanding the Sibling Relationship That Shapes Our Lives, Our Loves, and Ourselves Paperback – Bargain Price, September 5, 2006
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From the Back Cover
Discover the unexpected ways that being a sister affects your life choices
Whether your sister relationship was close, conflicted, or somewhere in between, that childhood bond shaped the woman you are today. Having grown up as an older, younger, middle, or twin sister influences your choice of occupation, your circle of friends, your love life--even how you feel about your own body.
My Sister, My Self provides you with powerful tools to:
- Come to terms with a challenging sister relationship
- Make sense of your need to depend on or control others
- Recognize how your sister role influences your interactions with friends and colleagues
- Understand the sister role you've played since childhood
"Vikki Stark's study of sibling relationships will take you to new depths of understanding of yourself, your sister, and the myriad ways you shaped each others' lives. You'll find a wealth of workable suggestions for getting . . . to a healthier, happier relationship with the one woman who shares your genes and your history."
--Adele Faber, coauthor of Siblings Without Rivalry
About the Author
Vikki Stark, M.S.W., has twenty years' experience as a family therapist, supervisor, and educator and appears regularly as a guest expert on television. Originally from New York City, she now lives in Montreal.
Top Customer Reviews
That's the kind of book My Sister, My Self is: destined to keep circulating and (unless you're very careful) dog-eared and pencil-marked.
The theme of this book is, Your position as a sister will influence just about every area of your life - family, career, personality. What drew me into reading and re-reading is Stark's assertion that she can guess the birth order of a woman with only a few brief clues. Accountants (if I remember correctly) tend to be middle sisters.
And what amazed me is, she got my number! I am an older sister -- the bossy kind, not the caretaker type. And I fit her description quite accurately: totally independent and enjoy being in charge. I can't help noting how many older sisters tend to seek entrepreneurial careers and never really fit in as "team players."
I suspect most readers will do what I did: fast-forward to the chapters describing themselves. But I hope therapists and coaches will also enjoy reading this book because a lot of behavior that seems dysfunctional can be attributed directly to birth order. And from what Stark tells us, these influences go deep and can be hard to change.
Stark focuses solely on families with sisters, which means someone else has to write the book about sisters with brothers and only children.Read more ›
Women are complex individuals, more so in relationships with other women. To be a women in a sibling relationship with a sister is to know this relationship's most powerful influence. Vikki Stark details the sister relationship in all its forms offering practical measures to negotiate the relationship with the intention of strengthening the bond. Yet she does not shy away from the difficulties and the possibility that, in some cases, the relationship may fail. She is a reasoned voice who clearly articulates the struggle.
Moreover, she does not judge. She validates, supports, and comforts, quite simply, because one can so easily identify with all she writes. She is the therapist who has lived your experience. She is a psychologist whose observations are near psychic.
Ms. Stark's book was refreshingly real, based on sound qualitative research, exploring the sometimes ugly issues that are part and parcel of sibling rivalry, bullying, bossiness and babying, as well as the more common themes of friendship and interdependence. Often funny, sometimes sad, but always touching and informative, anyone who has ever had a sister should read this book.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Grateful to read about other people's relationships with their sisters - helps to gain more perspective on one's own relationship(s).Published on May 13, 2014 by NortheastNaturalist
This is not what I was looking for, but it offered some ideas for consideration. Written in a foksy kind of way.Published on November 19, 2013 by Thelma L James
The book was great and none of the pages were ripped, torn, had water damage, etc. However, when I took the book out of the package it was dirty and sticky.Published on April 17, 2013 by Taylor
To many examples. I expected something more practical. Matters with sisters have to be aproached very tactfully when rivalry is at its highest peak. Read morePublished on November 28, 2012 by SANDRA CID
Well I was so blessed with three myself, although our relationship has been a twisty turning one, we all love each other very much. Read morePublished on December 24, 2011 by K. E.