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The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field Paperback – May 1, 1995

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 3,189 ratings

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The modern classic on building self-esteem to improve your mindset, achieve more, and boost your relationships with your partner, kids, co-workers, and more—from a pioneering psychotherapist

“Brilliant, laser-focused, and critically relevant, Dr. Nathaniel Branden’s ‘pillars’ give us a lifelong set of foundations upon which to build our families, our schools and our businesses.”—Dennis Waitley, Ph.D., author of The Psychology of Winning.
 
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is the culmination of a lifetime of clinical practice and study, hailed as the most significant work on the topic. Immense in scope and vision and filled with insight into human motivation and behavior, it is essential reading for anyone with a personal or professional interest in self-esteem. 
 
Dr. Nathaniel Branden introduces the six pillars—six action-based practices for daily living that provide the foundation for self-esteem—and explores the central importance of self-esteem in five areas: the workplace, parenting, education, psychotherapy, and the culture at large.
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem provides concrete guidelines for teachers, parents, managers, and therapists who are responsible for developing the self-esteem of others. And it shows why—in today’s chaotic and competitive world—self-esteem is fundamental to our personal and professional power.
Popular Highlights in this book

From the Publisher

Concrete guidelines for teachers, parents, managers, and therapists.

Quote from book, if my aim is to prove I am ‘enough’—I conceded the issue was debatable

Quote from book, self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves

Quote from book, what is required is the courage to tolerate happiness without self-sabotage

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Self-esteem expert Branden outlines the six characteristics that define his guide to better living, emphasizing personal responsibility and self-reliance.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“Brilliant, laser-focused and critically relevant, Dr. Branden’s ‘pillars’ give us a lifelong set of foundations upon which to build our families, our schools and our businesses.”—Dennis Waitley, Ph.D., author of The Psychology Of Winning.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bantam; Reprint edition (May 1, 1995)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0553374397
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0553374391
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.3 x 0.94 x 8.24 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 3,189 ratings

About the author

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Nathaniel Branden
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Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. is a lecturer, a practicing psychotherapist, and the author of twenty books on the psychology of self-esteem, romantic love, and the life and thought of Objectivist philosopher Ayn Rand. His work has been translated into eighteen languages and has sold more than 4 million copies, and includes such titles as Taking Responsibility, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, and My Years with Ayn Rand. Branden's name has become synonymous with the psychology of self-esteem, a field he pioneered more than thirty years ago.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
3,189 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book enlightening, eye-opening, and practical. They appreciate the meaningful exercises and specific activities. Readers describe the material as high quality and solid. However, some find the second half repetitive and boring. Opinions are mixed on readability, with some finding it easy to read and understand, while others say the writing style is difficult to understand.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

124 customers mention "Insight"124 positive0 negative

Customers find the book enlightening, with great concepts, thoughts, and ideas to apply. They say it helps them be more aware and conscious of the decisions they make everyday. Readers appreciate the deep thinking ability of the author. They also say it's practical information for anyone to have. Overall, readers say the book is solid and allows them to live better.

"...of Self-Esteem is, as its sub-title proclaims: “the definitive work on self-esteem by the leading pioneer in the field.”..." Read more

"...Nathaniel did a great job explaining abstract concept into words. The exercises are meaningful and rly help me understand myself and others better...." Read more

"...Overall it has great, solid information to get to the root of low self esteem or to understand the foundations of good self esteem, whether for..." Read more

"I really liked this book. It’s practical information for anyone to have...." Read more

15 customers mention "Exercise content"15 positive0 negative

Customers find the exercises meaningful and helpful. They say the activities are difficult to keep as habits. Readers also mention the 31-week exercises are productive and great awareness exercises.

"...The exercises are meaningful and rly help me understand myself and others better...." Read more

"An excellent book with useful writing exercises. I like being able to refer to the printed text anytime...." Read more

"...The concrete writing exercises with the sentence stems are a great awareness exercise.2...." Read more

"...additionally, it contains plenty of exercises to do in order to enhance each of the mentioned six pillars...." Read more

15 customers mention "Eye opening"12 positive3 negative

Customers find the book eye-opening, saying it offers solid advice and insight. They say it changes their perceptive in life. Readers also mention the examples are quite tangible. They describe the book as intellectually stimulating and a wonderful look at the important part of themselves.

"...Branden’s style is rigorously smart yet still approachable (and almost Emersonially quotable :)...." Read more

"...this author teaches I have increased my self-esteem and become much more self-aware." Read more

"...It equips us to recognise our reactions & to look at why they are sometimes unreasonable. Its rather liberating to be aware." Read more

"...Shows poor philosophical understanding of true Christic teachings.3. Dismisses the importance of the feedback loop of self-esteem...." Read more

14 customers mention "Material quality"12 positive2 negative

Customers find the book's material high-quality, solid, and amazing. They say it stresses the importance of integrity, self-responsibility, consciousness, and self-assertiveness. Readers also mention the condition description is correct.

"...He values ambition, integrity, respect and the importance of ingenuity in human evolution...." Read more

"...I think I'll go with 3 stays, because the material is amazing but very difficult to get through...." Read more

"...This is not fluff. It's not New Age silliness. It's solid, crucial information that will help you live a happier life...." Read more

"...Stresses the importance of integrity, self-responsibility, consciousness, self-assertiveness, etc. All good qualities.Negatives:1...." Read more

77 customers mention "Readability"46 positive31 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the readability of the book. Some mention it's well-organized and relatively easy to read and understand, while others say the writing style is difficult to understand the first time through, and the vocabulary is not common.

"...Branden’s style is rigorously smart yet still approachable (and almost Emersonially quotable :)...." Read more

"...Cons:* Too long and tedious. Part 1 drags some, Part 3 becomes pretty boring by the end.* Sentence completion gets old fast...." Read more

"...I am almost finished with it, and it is BY FAR the best self help type book I’ve read/listened to...." Read more

"Great book for an introduction to your self esteem and the people around you." Read more

10 customers mention "Boredom"0 positive10 negative

Customers find the book boring, disappointing, and repetitive. They also say reading it is arduous and uninviting.

"...Cons:* Too long and tedious. Part 1 drags some, Part 3 becomes pretty boring by the end.* Sentence completion gets old fast...." Read more

"...I really liked the first half of the book, but I feel the second half was really repetitive and I enjoyed it less...." Read more

"...very small and text so tightly spaced that reading it is arduous and uninviting...." Read more

"...self Esteem but this book took me like 2 month to finish it because it's boring and it takes too long to get to the point you would like...." Read more

WTF
1 out of 5 stars
WTF
The book was cut incorrectly. The whole top half was cut off . Horrible manufacturing.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2016
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“Apart from disturbance whose roots are biological, I cannot think of a single psychological problem—from anxiety and depression, to underachievement at school or at work, to fear of intimacy, happiness, or success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to spouse battering or child molestation, to co-dependency and sexual disorders, to passivity and chronic aimlessness, to suicide and crimes of violence—that is not traceable, at least in part, to the problem of deficient self-esteem. Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.”

~ Nathaniel Branden from The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Nathaniel Branden is a smart dood. Big brain. Very big brain.

He’s the leading authority on the science of self-esteem and, in addition to the big brain/wisdom, he has a fascinating life story.

Nathaniel met Ayn Rand as a teenager and began an intimate relationship with Ayn and her work that lasted over 20 years and included highlights such as Ayn deeming Nathaniel the embodiment of her ideals and Nathaniel helping to create the Objectivist movement. Check out part one of his fascinating interview with Ken Wilber at his website (NathanielBranden.com) for more mojo on that front and to get a personal look at his life and wisdom.

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is, as its sub-title proclaims: “the definitive work on self-esteem by the leading pioneer in the field.” Branden’s style is rigorously smart yet still approachable (and almost Emersonially quotable :).

In this Note (as with all the others), I’m less interested in giving you an intellectual overview of the subject and more interested in pulling out some of the many Big Ideas we can *immediately* apply to our lives.

Let’s explore some of the Big Ideas:

1. The Six Pillars - Of self-esteem.
2. Practice - Create self-esteem.
3. Living Consciously - Pillar #1.
4. Self-Acceptance - Pillar #2.
5. Self-Responsibility - Pillar #3.

Yep. It’s clear. Let’s honor the small improvements we’re making as we develop our self-esteem and live more and more radiantly conscious lives,

More goodness— including PhilosophersNotes on 300+ books in our ​*OPTIMIZE*​ membership brianjohnson . me.
34 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 25, 2021
If there is one book I would recommend someone to read, this is on the top selections. Nathaniel did a great job explaining abstract concept into words. The exercises are meaningful and rly help me understand myself and others better. Ppl go to school to be "educated" and paying exorbitant money and for what? large number of ppl don't even remember or use the subjects they had "passed" after they graduated hs/college/uni. The lesson offers in this book far more important than what our current school system can offer. It's relevant to everyone's live no matter who you are, what you do, your gender, race etc. We don't teach kids wisdom. We teach them to think like we do and unintededly (or perhaps purposely too in some cases) paved a road for them to make the same mistakes the more "adults" in society have already and constantly do. Then we wonder to ourselves, why is the world the way it is? Do yourself a favor and get this book.
11 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2021
The content here is very good. I am almost finished with it, and it is BY FAR the best self help type book I’ve read/listened to. I usually prefer books that are psychology based written by psychologists. This is one of those books. If you are into self-help books that feel like your witty, bubbly BFF is giving you a pep talk—know that this is definitely not that kind of book. That is not to say that it is boring, it’s just not cute or charming in any way. It’s direct, clear, well structured, and simple.

He breaks down what contributes to self esteem and makes important distinctions about what self esteem is not. His guidance for building the six pillars is mostly through practicing stream of consciousness writing assignments—which seems too simple, but it is a useful tool. I initially was re-listening to parts so I could take notes and journal along with it. It is not really a casual listen, but it is fantastic. It would be a great read if you are a therapist counseling others with self esteem issues.

The only thing I found odd and off putting was his repeated mentions of his personal (mentor/romantic) relationship with author Ayn Rand. Felt like a shameless name drop and took away from the flow of the book. He could’ve made his points without mentioning her name. It wasn’t often, but it was odd.

Overall it has great, solid information to get to the root of low self esteem or to understand the foundations of good self esteem, whether for yourself or in parenting, teaching, or helping others.
40 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2024
An excellent book with useful writing exercises. I like being able to refer to the printed text anytime. So for me it was worth purchasing this hard copy.
Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2024
Great book for an introduction to your self esteem and the people around you.
Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2024
Under 50 pages in and got my moneys worth
Reviewed in the United States on January 16, 2024
I really liked this book. It’s practical information for anyone to have. The information and examples described for each of the 6 pillars was especially helpful. I plan to reread it multiple times.
5 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Davi Gontijo
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Self-Help Book Ever
Reviewed in Brazil on January 26, 2022
I'm brazillian, but I need to write this in english to reach as many people as I can. The fact is that this book is a gem. The principles that are taught here can be useful regardless of your age, income, situation or your past events and that's why I consider this work a 10 out of 10 for its genre. Many people disdain self-help books saying that all of them are bad, but that's a dangerous thought that comes from an overgeneralization. Can the majority of them be bad? Yes. However, the majority dosen't mean that all of them are. And this misleading reasoning might be able to hinder some individuals to buy a transforming, complete and resourceful book like this one. The reason I claim that comes from the clear positive features that are observed, once the form and content of the book are really good. Firstly, the author is precise in his definitions and summarizes highly important ideas in small phrases in just one line or paragraph, what demonstrates an evident writing skill. Moreover, the content is also imbued of richness, providing that this subject was deeply studied by the author for most of his life and the the practices outlined work well. On the other hand, at the same time that what is shown can work in an exquisite manner, it also demands a certain level of discipline. The results will only appear if you are commited to do all the exercises proposed, without exceptions.
Layla
5.0 out of 5 stars Lectura muy recomendada
Reviewed in Spain on August 31, 2024
Si te interesa el estudio del desarrollo de la autoestima, esta lectura es imprescindible.
Nirjal
5.0 out of 5 stars Very politiker book
Reviewed in Sweden on November 12, 2022
I was looking for this book to raise my self esteem. This is a good practical book. Perfect size. Readable.
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Nirjal
5.0 out of 5 stars Very politiker book
Reviewed in Sweden on November 12, 2022
I was looking for this book to raise my self esteem. This is a good practical book. Perfect size. Readable.
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Saraj
5.0 out of 5 stars Très bon livre
Reviewed in France on July 14, 2022
Très très bon livre. Très intéressant et très clair. Je recommande
Christopher Manners
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that will not only help you to feel better, it will help you to live better.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 24, 2021
I first read this book in the mid mid 90’s and continue to read aspects of it every month. I have bought copies of the book for members of my family, friends and work colleagues. I was fortunate to meet Canadian Psychotherapist Dr Branden PhD. and discussed issues with him around Self-esteem before he died and can honestly say he is the only person who has throughly understood the topic and got it. If I’m not reading the book I’m listening to the audio version in my car constantly. You think you’ve cracked it when, after solving one life issue, another rears it’s head like a hydra. But as you persist in using the material to develop yourself it gets easier and easier.

The material contained within the book is sound, and for those who are not looking for ‘quick fixes and effortless solutions’, this book is a game-changer. For those willing to be honest with themselves and who are willing to do the work and apply the 6 practices of Self-Awareness, Self-Acceptance, Self-Assertiveness, Self-Responsibility, Self-Integrity and Living Purposefully, I can guarantee that your life will change dramatically within a month of doing the exercises. I have been teaching Health ‘Authentic’ Self-Esteem to young people and the adults who work with them, and also to their parents (15,000+) over the past 25 years and the results have been profound and life changing for those I’ve taught these principles to.

A word of warning. So profound is the material contained within this book that if you follow it completely, your life will change for the better and this may not be to the liking of those people you know. Your change will highlight the change they need to do in themselves and make them uncomfortable.
Truly this book, to quote Branden, ‘will not only help you to feel better, it will help you to live better.’