I somehow manage to get by socially in superficial settings (although I always feel almost ill after any 5-minute water cooler chat and have to go be by myself for a bit to recover) and even have a job requiring public speaking about 30% of the time (which I absolutely hate, but the remaining 70% of the time is solitary, and I just don't think I'd survive for more than a few days if I had to work as part of a team or even share an office with anyone). I've only had one or two friends in my entire life - and those were back in middle school. Ever since, I've been so alone it would take weeks for anyone to notice if I died. Every single interaction with every single human being has always felt like an "obstacle course" that I just have to get past.. preferably as quickly as possible, and hopefully with as little damage as possible. The idea that interactions can be enjoyable is novel to me. Groundbreaking. Earth-shattering.
I've read ALL the books (probably well over a hundred books over the years), had ALL the therapy, and tried ALL the techniques - with barely any results. So I've been saying I might have to write my own book on how to function socially, if I figure it out eventually...
Well, this book makes me believe I may not have to write my own book after all!! It feels like someone has already written it. Finally something that makes me feel like I am not alone in my struggles. The author just gets it.
To use a metaphor, other books on social skills are like "just get in your car and drive 3 miles to the north and then you'll see a shopping mall." This book is like "this is how you get into the car and adjust your seat. Here is the gas pedal and here is the brake. And this is how you use the GPS. And this is how you will be able to recognize the shopping mall. And this is what you do if you get lost on your way."
That's just what I need. Maybe to some people it's obvious why they want to socialize and what they do with friends once they acquire some, not to mention how to go about acquiring them in the first place. But to me, it is not. It's something I've never known before. It's something I've had so little modeling for, growing up, that I didn't even have the slightest idea about how things work. This book just fills these gaps - these abysses! - in my knowledge in a most satisfying way. I'm actually kind of excited to try to improve, now that I have at least some concrete guidance on how to do it.
Thank you, Chris MacLeod, from the bottom of my heart.
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About the author
A lifesaver for introverts! Chapters broken down to key points. Great for self improvement!
I'm an introvert that gets tired from large events and at most just listen at times. There are times where I rather be somewhere else than a mandatory party I have to attend or sit through.This book gives you a shift in mindset that helps you improve as an individual. Each chapter, there are key points to focus on and examples to try out and be aware of. Make the situation work for you, and don't depend on other people to make it fun and comfortable for you. This book won't solve all your issues, but it gives bite size information for you to think about and improve yourself!
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2018
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- Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2019
A lifesaver for introverts! Chapters broken down to key points. Great for self improvement!I'm an introvert that gets tired from large events and at most just listen at times. There are times where I rather be somewhere else than a mandatory party I have to attend or sit through.
Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2019
This book gives you a shift in mindset that helps you improve as an individual. Each chapter, there are key points to focus on and examples to try out and be aware of. Make the situation work for you, and don't depend on other people to make it fun and comfortable for you. This book won't solve all your issues, but it gives bite size information for you to think about and improve yourself!
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- Kemal RezaReviewed in Belgium on August 2, 2023
Dirty condition when arrived at house
