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The Sociopath Next Door Paperback – March 14, 2006
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Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.
We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
- Print length256 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarmony
- Publication dateMarch 14, 2006
- Dimensions5.18 x 0.52 x 7.95 inches
- ISBN-109780767915823
- ISBN-13978-0767915823
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From the Back Cover
Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of "The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He's a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.
We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in "The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people--one in twenty-five--has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt."
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading "TheSociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know--someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for--is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and "The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Minds differ still more than faces.
--Voltaire
Imagine--if you can--not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern for the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken. And pretend that the concept of responsibility is unknown to you, except as a burden others seem to accept without question, like gullible fools. Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs. Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless. You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodedness. The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience, that they seldom even guess at your condition.
In other words, you are completely free of internal restraints, and your unhampered liberty to do just as you please, with no pangs of conscience, is conveniently invisible to the world. You can do anything at all, and still your strange advantage over the majority of people, who are kept in line by their consciences, will most likely remain undiscovered.
How will you live your life? What will you do with your huge and secret advantage, and with the corresponding handicap of other people (conscience)? The answer will depend largely on just what your desires happen to be, because people are not all the same. Even the profoundly unscrupulous are not all the same. Some people-- whether they have a conscience or not-- favor the ease of inertia, while others are filled with dreams and wild ambitions. Some human beings are brilliant and talented, some are dull-witted, and most, conscience or not, are somewhere in between. There are violent people and nonviolent ones, individuals who are motivated by bloodlust and those who have no such appetites.
Maybe you are someone who craves money and power, and though you have no vestige of conscience, you do have a magnificent IQ. You have the driving nature and the intellectual capacity to pursue tremendous wealth and influence, and you are in no way moved by the nagging voice of conscience that prevents other people from doing everything and anything they have to do to succeed. You choose business, politics, the law, banking, international development, or any of a broad array of other power professions, and you pursue your career with a cold passion that tolerates none of the usual moral or legal incumbrances. When it is expedient, you doctor the accounting and shred the evidence, you stab your employees and your clients (or your constituency) in the back, marry for money, tell lethal premeditated lies to people who trust you, attempt to ruin colleagues who are powerful or eloquent, and simply steam-roll over groups who are dependent and voiceless. And all of this you do with the exquisite freedom that results from having no conscience whatsoever.
You become unimaginably, unassailably, and maybe even globally successful. Why not? With your big brain, and no conscience to rein in your schemes, you can do anything at all.
Or no--let us say you are not quite such a person. You are ambitious, yes, and in the name of success you are willing to do all manner of things that people with conscience would never consider, but you are not an intellectually gifted individual. Your intelligence is above average perhaps, and people think of you as smart, maybe even very smart. But you know in your heart of hearts that you do not have the cognitive wherewithal, or the creativity, to reach the careening heights of power you secretly dream about, and this makes you resentful of the world at large, and envious of the people around you.
As this sort of person, you ensconce yourself in a niche, or maybe a series of niches, in which you can have some amount of control over small numbers of people. These situations satisfy a little of your desire for power, although you are chronically aggravated at not having more. It chafes to be so free of the ridiculous inner voice that inhibits others from achieving great power, without having enough talent to pursue the ultimate successes yourself. Sometimes you fall into sulky, rageful moods caused by a frustration that no one but you understands.
But you do enjoy jobs that afford you a certain undersupervised control over a few individuals or small groups, preferably people and groups who are relatively helpless or in some way vulnerable. You are a teacher or a psychotherapist, a divorce lawyer or a high school coach. Or maybe you are a consultant of some kind, a broker or a gallery owner or a human services director. Or maybe you do not have a paid position, and are instead the president of your condominium association, or a volunteer hospital worker, or a parent. Whatever your job, you manipulate and bully the people who are under your thumb, as often and as outrageously as you can without getting fired or held accountable. You do this for its own sake, even when it serves no purpose except to give you a thrill. Making people jump means you have power-- or this is the way you see it-- and bullying provides you with an adrenaline rush. It is fun.
Maybe you cannot be the CEO of a multinational corporation, but you can frighten a few people, or cause them to scurry around like chickens, or steal from them, or--maybe best of all--create situations that cause them to feel bad about themselves. And this is power, especially when the people you manipulate are superior to you in some way. Most invigorating of all is to bring down people who are smarter or more accomplished than you, or perhaps classier, more attractive or popular or morally admirable. This is not only good fun--it is existential vengeance. And without a conscience, it is amazingly easy to do. You quietly lie to the boss or to the boss’s boss, cry some crocodile tears, or sabotage a coworker’s project, or gaslight a patient (or a child), bait people with promises, or provide a little misinformation that will never be traced back to you.
Or now let us say you are a person who has a proclivity for violence or for seeing violence done. You can simply murder your coworker, or have her murdered--or your boss, or your ex-spouse, or your wealthy lover’s spouse, or anyone else who bothers you. You have to be careful, because if you slip up you may be caught and punished by the system. But you will never be confronted by your conscience, because you have no conscience. If you decide to kill, the only difficulties will be the external ones. Nothing inside of you will ever protest.
Provided you are not forcibly stopped, you can do anything at all. If you are born at the right time, with some access to family fortune, and you have a special talent for whipping up other people’s hatred and sense of deprivation, you can arrange to kill large numbers of unsuspecting people. With enough money, you can accomplish this from far away, and you can sit back safely and watch in satisfaction. In fact, terrorism (done from a distance) is the ideal occupation for a person who is possessed of bloodlust and no conscience, because if you do it just right, you may be able to make a whole nation jump. And if that is not power, what is?
Or let us imagine the opposite extreme--you have no interest in power. To the contrary, you are the sort of person who really does not want much of anything. Your only real ambition is not to have to exert yourself to get by. You do not want to work like everyone else does. Without a conscience, you can nap or pursue your hobbies or watch television or just hang out somewhere all day long. Living a bit on the fringes, and with some handouts from relatives and friends, you can do this indefinitely. People may whisper to each other that you are an underachiever, or that you are depressed, a sad case, or in contrast, if they get angry, they may grumble that you are lazy. When they get to know you better, and get really angry, they may scream at you and call you a loser, a bum. But it will never occur to them that you literally do not have a conscience, that in such a fundamental way, your very mind is not the same as theirs.
The panicked feeling of a guilty conscience never squeezes at your heart or wakes you in the middle of the night. Despite your lifestyle, you never feel irresponsible, neglectful, or so much as embarrassed, although for the sake of appearances, sometimes you pretend that you do. For example, if you are a decent observer of people and what they react to, you may adopt a lifeless facial expression, say how ashamed of your life you are, and talk about how rotten you feel. This you do only because it is more convenient to have people think you are depressed than it is to have them shouting at you all the time, or insisting that you get a job.
You notice that people who do have a conscience feel guilty when they harangue someone they believe to be “depressed” or “troubled.” As a matter of fact, to your further advantage, they often feel obliged to take care of such a person. If, despite your relative poverty, you can manage to get yourself into a sexual relationship with someone, this person--who does not suspect what you are really like--may feel particularly obligated. And since all you want is not to have to work, your financier does not have to be especially rich, just reliably conscience-bound.
I trust that imagining yourself as any of these people feels insane to you, because such people are insane, dangerously so. Insane but real--they even have a label. Many mental health professionals refer to the condition of little or no conscience as “antisocial personality disorder,” a noncorrectable disfigurement of character that is now thought to be present in about four percent of the population--that is to say, one in twenty-five people. This condition of missing conscience is called by other names too, most often “sociopathy,” or the somewhat more familiar term, “psychopathy.” Guiltlessness was in fact the first personality disorder to be recognized by psychiatry, and terms that have been used at times over the past century include “manie sans délire,” “psychopathic inferiority,” “moral insanity,” and “moral imbecility.”
According to the current bible of psychiatric labels, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV of the American Psychiatric Association, the clinical diagnosis of “antisocial personality disorder” should be considered when an individual possesses at least three of the following seven characteristics: (1) failure to conform to social norms; (2) deceitfulness, manipulativeness; (3) impulsivity, failure to plan ahead; (4) irritability, aggressiveness; (5) reckless disregard for the safety of self or others; (6) consistent irresponsibility; (7) lack of remorse after having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person. The presence in an individual of any three of these “symptoms,” taken together, is enough to make many psychiatrists suspect the disorder.
Other researchers and clinicians, many of whom think the APA’s definition describes simple “criminality” better than true “psychopathy” or “sociopathy,” point to additional documented characteristics of sociopaths as a group. One of the more frequently observed of these traits is a glib and superficial charm that allows the true sociopath to seduce other people, figuratively or literally--a kind of glow or charisma that, initially, can make the sociopath seem more charming or more interesting than most of the normal people around him. He or she is more spontaneous, or more intense, or somehow more “complex,” or sexier, or more entertaining than everyone else. Sometimes this “sociopathic charisma” is accompanied by a grandiose sense of self-worth that may be compelling at first, but upon closer inspection may seem odd or perhaps laughable. (“Someday the world will realize how special I am,” or “You know that after me, no other lover will do.”)
In addition, sociopaths have a greater than normal need for stimulation, which results in their taking frequent social, physical, financial, or legal risks. Characteristically, they can charm others into attempting dangerous ventures with them, and as a group they are known for their pathological lying and conning, and their parasitic relationships with “friends.” Regardless of how educated or highly placed as adults, they may have a history of early behavior problems, sometimes including drug use or recorded juvenile delinquency, and always including a failure to acknowledge responsibility for any problems that occurred.
And sociopaths are noted especially for their shallowness of emotion, the hollow and transient nature of any affectionate feelings they may claim to have, a certain breathtaking callousness. They have no trace of empathy and no genuine interest in bonding emotionally with a mate. Once the surface charm is scraped off, their marriages are loveless, one-sided, and almost always short-term. If a marriage partner has any value to the sociopath, it is because the partner is viewed as a possession, one that the sociopath may feel angry to lose, but never sad or accountable.
All of these characteristics, along with the “symptoms” listed by the American Psychiatric Association, are the behavioral manifestations of what is for most of us an unfathomable psychological condition, the absence of our essential seventh sense-- conscience.
Crazy, and frightening-- and real, in about four percent of the population.
Product details
- ASIN : 0767915828
- Publisher : Harmony; 1st edition (March 14, 2006)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 256 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9780767915823
- ISBN-13 : 978-0767915823
- Item Weight : 6.8 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.18 x 0.52 x 7.95 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #20,870 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #29 in Personality Disorders (Books)
- #77 in Popular Psychology Personality Study
- #132 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
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About the author

Martha Stout, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in private practice, served on the faculty in psychology in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School for twenty-five years. She is also the author of "The Myth of Sanity" and "The Paranoia Switch." She lives on Cape Ann in Massachusetts.
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Stout writes: “Many mental health professionals refer to the condition of little or no conscience as “antisocial personality disorder,” a [non-correctable] disfigurement of character that is now thought to be present in about 4 percent of the population—that is to say, one in twenty-five people. This condition of missing conscience is called by other names, too, most often “sociopathy,” or the somewhat more familiar term, psychopathy.
the clinical diagnosis of “antisocial personality disorder” should be considered when an individual possesses at least three of … seven [specific] characteristics:
The author goes on to write: “One of the more frequently observed of these traits is a glib and superficial charm that allows the true sociopath to seduce other people, figuratively or literally—a kind of glow or charisma that, initially, can make the sociopath seem more charming or more interesting than most of the normal people around him. … In addition, sociopaths have a greater than normal need for stimulation, which results in their taking frequent social, physical, financial, or legal risks. Characteristically, they can charm others into attempting dangerous ventures with them, and as a group they are known for their pathological lying and conning, and their parasitic relationships with “friends.” Regardless of how educated or highly placed as adults, they may have a history of early behavior problems … including a failure to acknowledge responsibility for any problems that occurred. And sociopaths are noted especially for their shallowness of emotion, the hollow and transient nature of any affectionate feelings they may claim to have, a certain breathtaking callousness… have no trace of empathy and no genuine interest in bonding emotionally with a mate... If a marriage partner has any value to the sociopath, it is because the partner is viewed as a possession, one that the sociopath may feel angry to lose, but never sad or accountable… is not that this group fails to grasp the difference between good and bad; it is that the distinction fails to limit their behavior…The high incidence of sociopathy in human society has a profound effect on the rest of …Sociopathy stands alone as a “disease” that causes no disease for the person who has it, no subjective discomfort. Sociopaths are often quite satisfied with themselves and with their lives, and perhaps for this very reason there is no effective “treatment.””
Stout writes: “at the beginning of the twentieth century, conscience itself underwent a fundamental transformation, due to … Sigmund Freud [who] proposed that in the normal course of development, young children’s minds acquired an internalized authority figure, called a superego, that would in time replace the actual external authority … With his writings on the superego, Freud imparted to an awakening scientific world that our usual respect for law and order was not simply imposed on us from the outside. We obey the rules, we honor the virtues, primarily from an internal need that begins in infancy and early childhood to preserve and remain embraced by our families and the larger human society in which we live.”
Stout writes: “even a normal person’s conscience does not operate on the same level all of the time. One of the simplest reasons for this changeability is the fundamental circumstances of living inside a fallible, need-driven human body. When our bodies are exhausted, sick, or injured, all of our emotional functions, including conscience, can be temporarily compromised…Very simply, we are programmed to obey authority even against our own consciences.”
Of one experiment, Stout writes: “The aim of the experiment was to discover how long the subjects (the teachers in this experiment) would take to disobey Milgram’s authority when presented with a clear moral imperative. How much electric shock would they administer to a pleading, screaming stranger merely because an authority figure told them to do so? …Thirty-four of Milgram’s original forty subjects continue to shock the learner, whom they believe to be strapped to a chair, even after he asks to be released from the experiment. In fact …62.5 percent of the total group—never disobey the experimenter at any point …” Moreover, the author writes: “Studies … were repeated … and soon involved more than a thousand subjects of both genders and from many walks of life. The results remained essentially the same.” Going on Stout writes: “Because its essence is killing, war is the ultimate contest between conscience and authority. Our seventh sense demands that we not take life, and when authority overrules conscience and a soldier is induced to kill in combat, he is very likely to suffer post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD] immediately and for the remainder of his life, along with the depression, divorces, addictions, ulcers, and heart disease that attend traumatic memory…research involving Vietnam veterans has shown that soldiers who are not placed in situations where they are forced to kill are no more likely to develop the symptoms of PTSD than are those who spend their entire enlistment at home.”
About sociopaths in various populations, Stout writes: “According to Robert Hare [et al.] who test convicts, on average only about 20 percent of prison inmates in the United States are sociopaths. Hare and others are careful to note that this 20 percent of the prison population accounts for more than 50 percent of the “most serious crimes” (extortion, armed robbery, kidnapping, murder) and crimes against the state (treason, espionage, terrorism), but the actual sociopathic head count in prisons, for both men and women, is only about two in ten. … The result is that most sociopaths … are out here in the world with you and me.” She goes on to warn: “We try … to judge a person’s character by his or her appearance, but this book-by-its-cover strategy is ineffective in nearly all cases. … Sociopaths, people with no intervening sense of obligation based in attachments to others, typically devote their lives to interpersonal games, to “winning,” to domination for the sake of domination.”
About the odds, Stout writes: “When it comes to trusting other people, we all make mistakes…The bad news is that there truly are individuals who have no conscience, and these individuals are not to be trusted at all. Perhaps an average of four people in a random group of one hundred are limited in this way...the very good news—is that at least ninety-six people out of a hundred are bound by the constraints of conscience, and can therefore be counted on to behave according to a reasonably high baseline of decency and responsibility...”
On who to trust, Stout writes: “Albert Einstein once said, “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” … Deciding whether or not someone is trustworthy usually requires knowing that person well for a long time, and in the case of identifying a sociopath, much better and longer than one would have allowed …” And goes on to write: “The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy… Perhaps the most easily recognized example is the battered wife whose sociopathic husband beats her routinely and then sits at the kitchen table, head in his hands, moaning that he cannot control himself and that he is a poor wretch whom she must find it in her heart to forgive … When deciding whom to trust, bear in mind that the combination of consistently bad or egregiously inadequate behavior with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark…as you will ever be given.”
On the topic of what makes individuals be what they are, the author writes: “Like so many human characteristics, both physical and psychological, the primary question is that of nature versus nurture. Is the characteristic born in the blood, or is it created by the environment? For most complex psychological features, the answer is, very probably, both. In other words, a predisposition for the characteristic is present at conception, but the environment regulates how it is expressed.” And as to one particular study, Stout writes: “The Texas Adoption Project reports that, where scores on the Pd scale are concerned, individuals resemble their birth mothers, whom they have never met, significantly more than they do the adoptive parents who raised them. From this research, a heritability estimate of 54 percent can be derived, and interestingly, this “Psychopathic Deviate” figure is consistent with the heritability estimates—35 to 50 percent—generally found in studies of other, more neutral personality characteristics (extraversion, empathy, and so forth)… Overall in these studies, identical twins are twice or more as likely to have similar scores on the Pd scale as are fraternal twins, strongly suggesting at least some genetic role in the “Psychopathic Deviate” pattern… They are, in descending order of theoretical heritability: “fails to conform to social norms,” “aggressive,” “reckless,” “impulsive,” “fails to honor financial obligations,” “inconsistent work,” “never monogamous,” and “lacks remorse.” Still other studies have found that sociopaths have low “agreeableness,” low “conscientiousness,” and low “harm avoidance,” all of which personality dimensions have a genetic component.”
The author writes: “In terms of reaction time and evoked potentials in the cortex, sociopathic subjects in these experiments respond to emotionally charged words no differently from neutral words. In sociopaths, the evoked potential for sob or kiss is no larger than the one for sat or list, very much as if emotional words were no more meaningful, or deeply coded by their brains, than any other words... Sociopathy is the inability to process emotional experience, including love and caring, except when such experience can be calculated as a coldly intellectual task.”
The author writes: “In addition to genetic factors, there are environmental variables that affect the condition of being without conscience … in the United States in the ultrahygienic orphanages of the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, infants who are not touched at all, for purposes of antiseptic perfection, are prone to die quite literally…nearly all of the untouched babies in these orphanages perished…In 1989, when the Communist regime in Romania fell, horrifying photographs were released to the rest of the world of the hundreds of orphanages that had been kept secret by the psychopathic dictator Nicolae Ceauşescu. Under his regime, Romania was a nation of nearly unsurvivable poverty, and yet Ceauşescu had prohibited both abortion and birth control. Hundreds of thousands of starving children resulted, and nearly 100,000 orphaned children ended up in state-run institutions... except for being given enough food to keep most of them alive, the babies and children were ignored… Well-meaning Western Europeans and North Americans brought Romanian babies into their homes and lovingly tried to nurse them to health. And then a couple in Paris would discover that their beautiful ten-month-old Romanian daughter was inconsolable, and only screamed louder when they tried to hold her…Western Europe and North America had imported an attachment disorder nightmare created by a sadistic Romanian sociopath...”
Delving deeper, Stout writes: “Unlike sociopaths, …a narcissist looks for help, one of the underlying issues is usually that, unbeknownst to him, he is alienating his relationships on account of his lack of empathy with others, and is feeling confused, abandoned, and lonely. He misses the people he loves, and is ill-equipped to get them back. Sociopaths, in contrast, do not care about other people, and so do not miss them when they are alienated or gone…Heritability studies tell us that for sociopathy in particular, biology is half of the story at most. In addition to genetic factors, there are environmental variables that affect the condition …”
As to offering a reason why sociopaths exist in a society, the author writes: “people who have no conscience make excellent, unambivalent warriors. And nearly all societies—Buddhist, Shinto, Christian, or purely capitalist—make war …To some extent, we can think of sociopaths as being shaped and maintained by society because nations so often require cold-blooded killers, from anonymous foot soldiers to the conquerors who have made, and continue to make, human history. Sociopaths are fearless and superior warriors, snipers, undercover assassins, special operatives, vigilantes, and hand-to-hand specialists, because they experience no horror while killing (or while ordering killing) and no guilt after the deed is done.
Stout writes: “Since Darwin published The Origin of Species, in 1859, much of scientific theorizing has considered that all living things, including human beings, have evolved according to the law of natural selection. According to this law, known more popularly as “the law of the jungle,” any characteristic that enhances survival and reproduction (and therefore the continuance of its own genetic components) will tend to remain in the population. If a physical trait or a behavioral tendency bestows this felicitous survival advantage on individuals for countless generations, in many situations and across habitats, it may, incrementally and in the course of time immemorial, become part of the standard genetic blueprint for the species. … When it comes to surviving, clearly there is a certain conflict of interest between the individual and the herd/ community/ flock, and arguments concerning the origin of what evolutionary psychologists call “altruistic behaviors” have generally centered around the unit of selection in evolution. Does natural selection “choose” only individuals for survival, or can selection perhaps operate at the level of groups, thus favoring the survival of whole populations over others? … But if the unit of selection is the group as a whole, then a certain amount of altruism can be explained. Quite simply, a group composed of individuals who cooperate and take care of one another is much more likely to survive as a group than a collective of individuals who can only compete with or ignore one another. In terms of survival, the successful group will be the one that is operating to some extent as an entity, rather than the group in which every single individual is looking out for number one, to the exclusion of everyone else. … Group selection, and all it implies about our true nature, has been an extremely controversial idea among evolutionists, reflecting the fact that the theory of evolution itself is still evolving…Kin selection means that pieces of the individual’s genetic blueprint (the only biological aspect of the individual that stands a chance of being “immortal,” so to speak) will fare better if the individual guards not only his own survival and reproduction odds but also those of other individuals who share some of his genetic makeup. If he behaves generously and protectively toward his blood relatives, their enhanced survival and reproduction rate will increase the numbers of his own genes in future generations, since his relatives and he have many genes in common…For example, if I share my fruit [my relatives], my individual life may be shortened, but on average, the odds that my genes will continue in the population have actually been multiplied, because my genes are shared in part by each of my cousins. And the genes that I have donated to the gene pool by lengthening the lives of my cousins may well include the genes that cause me to feel emotional attachments.”
Moreover, Stout writes: “Furthermore, kin selection explains why we nurture and protect our children despite the fact that doing so lessens our own energies and our individual survival resources. From this vantage point, conscience is the genetically programmed mechanism that makes sure we do not ignore the extra little packages of our genetic material that just happen to be walking around on feet other than ours.” And goes on to write: “As for our genetically designed sense of conscience toward the aforementioned distant relatives and strangers—gene-centered evolutionists propose that their version of natural selection would have favored genes that resulted in “reciprocal altruism,” or non-zero-sum (win-win) behaviors such as the division of labor, friend seeking, cooperation, and the avoidance of conflict. These behaviors would be mediated by emotions such as gratitude, compassion, and conscience, and so emotions such as these would have had an advantage where the natural selection of genes was concerned.”
Stout writes: “Naturalist Gould reexamines the evidence from paleontology and maintains that natural selection operates on multiple levels, from the gene to the individual to the group, and even—or especially—the species. …the absence of conscience may sometimes be even more adaptive for survival. In this way, nature would constantly be fostering conscience in most of us, while, at a different level, continually supporting a smaller percentage of individuals who thrive without the neurobiological underpinnings of emotional attachment and conscience.”
As to one generalized difference between men and women, Stout writes: “Gilligan believed that Kohlberg had derived only an “ethic of justice” because he had interviewed only males, and that if women were interviewed, a very different system of ideals would emerge. She interviewed women who were making momentous decisions in their lives and discovered that these women were thinking about the caring thing to do, rather than pondering “the rules.” Women, decided Gilligan, reasoned morally according to an “ethic of care,” rather than a male “ethic of justice.” … Thanks to Carol Gilligan, psychologists and educators now understand that moral reasoning has more than one dimension and that people develop morally in much more complex ways than we first believed.”
Stout writes: “And as of the time I write these words, virtually identical Y chromosomes are carried by almost 8 percent of the men living in the region of the former Mongol Empire, 16 million of them. Geneticists believe this means that some 16 million people living in the twenty-first century are stamped with Genghis Khan’s thirteenth-century legacy of genocide and rape. Genghis Khan was exceptional among sociopathic tyrants in that he did not die a violent or an ignominious death. Instead, he fell off a horse during a hunt, in 1227 … And sociopathy is almost always a solo routine, another strategy that may sometimes work temporarily but not often in the long run. For the obvious reason of unremitting self-interest, people without conscience make lousy team players. … a person without conscience, even a smart one, tends to be a shortsighted and surprisingly naïve individual who eventually expires of boredom, financial ruin, or a bullet.”
The author provides “Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life”
That said, her grasp of what a socio/psychopathic personality entails in both motivations and practices seems skewed. She provides some great examples, such as "super skip" who fits the prototypical, textbook model to a near T. Then there is "Darlene" I believe the name was, who posed as a therapist by using sex to secure a position that should have required a lot of work and education; while having only acquired a bachelors. Being driven to keep the appearance of her role up to snuff, she burdened herself with accessory readings and put a great deal of effort and time into manipulating the staff. This woman also brings her whole charade down over a dislike of a more attractive and intelligent individual, who is an actual therapist AND outshines her. Causing her ego some great discomfort, which in the fickle and reactionary world of the psychopath is as good a cause as any to take action against the person in question. She provides other great examples, but I won't take up anymore time writing a synopsis of the book itself. In short, these are both great examples of psychopathic personalities, her verbiage and rhythmic writing tone make them fun and terrifying to read about, and if taken as a short read intended to introduce one to the world of ASPD and how people that function under it's guidelines behave... the book makes for a wonderful cautionary tale.
However, she also takes some inappropriate liberties that nearly stopped me from finishing the book several times; these departures and oversteppings are what inhibit me from readily recommending the book to laypeople. The entire segment where she speaks to the behavior of a patients ex-husband, who quit his job and hangs out by the pool all day, even after they separated, who continued to harass the woman using their son as a pawn in the game of manipulation as well as sinking so much effort into making people feel sorry for him... It smacks of bad practice, to diagnose or paint someone as being afflicted by something as complex as psychopathy based strictly on the second hand stories of the partner is, well, "inappropriate" at the risk of sounding redundant. This gentleman could have had actually suffered from depression, it does't always manifest as a constant melancholy, he could have just been lazy and parasitic, he could have suffered a trauma that left him uncomfortable in the work force. What is more likely from the portrait she paints is that he had an overbearing mother and didn't appropriately transition into adulthood psychologically, so he subconsciously sought out nurturing women to play the role of surrogate mommies for him. The distance from the child they have together was most definitely not the cold abandon of a psychopath, but rather the jealous indifference of an egocentric child at the arrival of a new sibling who he will soon have to fight with for affection and attention. She at one point asserts that when this man knocks the woman up and has an "I GOTCHA!" moment, that is a surefire sign of psychopathic behavior... I would guess that makes every woman who intends to entrap a guy with a little cash a psychopath as well? What Dr. Stout seems to miss here is that ladder climbing is 100% natural to our species, and laziness is often a result of high intelligence.
By far and large psychopathic personalities do not engage in things like this man did, their shallow pool of emotional affect makes them wonderfully adept at simply "walking away" when the game is done. No point in trying to fight the good fight when there's another sucker right around the corner. Much like the woman pretending to be a therapist above did. While Dr. Stout makes mention of Dr. Robert Hare she does't seem to be overly familiar with his work, or how the PCL-R functions in an operative capacity. Just because someone has a few behavioral nuances that resonate "psychopathy" when you tap the chime just right, does not in fact mean that the person you're talking to is, in fact, a psychopath. And to diagnose someone who you have not had the (dis)pleasure of meeting in person, and engaging in a few lengthy sessions of observation or direct dialog with, is unprofessional.
Her list of things you can do to spot "sociopaths" is good, but again, you cannot over-apply these things, as an undergraduate I remember vividly struggling to define psychopathy and seeing it in every person that tried to smooth talk a beer out of me, or returned my giving nature with a false smile and handshake, but would never do for me what I was doing for them. You can't do that because people are, by nature, relatively shallow creatures who operate on societal expectations 90% of the time; this is why there is such a strong push from the psychological community to take "culture" into affect when assessing how "evil" a crime is. For instance, boy soldiers in Africa are terrifying to us. The idea that someone could murder a family, much less have the child murder the mother with the disgusting proposition of "you can kill her and live, or we can kill all of you", then move on to dope him up with whatever drugs are available and essentially reconfigure the youth into an emotionless killing machine... Seems to us, to be so evil that only Satan himself would do such a thing, and I have to agree that whoever originated the idea was pure evil incarnate. However, the truth is that often these boy soldiers grow to early adulthood and begin the chain anew themselves, voluntarily. Is it because they're all psychopaths? No. It's because in their culture, and life experience, this is the normal way of things, so with no alternative to critically compare it to, they believe what they're doing is rational and necessary.
Those same child soldiers are also reformed with amazing speed and success when removed from the situation, I actually met a man who had been through this when I was in new york many years ago. He was now an accountant and had moved here to the US after being "rescued" (his word) by a man that shot him during a raid, but didn't finish him off and instead nursed him back to health, the compassion started a chain that ended up with him being here in the US and having a family of his own. This man carried an extreme psychological burden, he had gone through the kind of things we see in movies and reject because they're too harsh for us to accept, by the time he was 8. His early life had been spent wondering around with cocaine, gunpowder, marijuana and heroin in his system for close to a decade. Shooting people for no reason other than than, well that is what he was supposed to do, right? If you knew what he had done, you would say "this man has to be a secondary psychopath at the least to have been capable of engaging such horrid behavior!" But he isn't.
Dr. Stout would no doubt characterize this man as an agent of evil, and warn that even though he may be seemingly normal now, the proverbial blood on his hands is proof that he is a dangerous person and likely a "sociopath" who has just learned to blend in hoping that his past deeds are never uncovered, because, no one wants to go to jail. And this is where she falls into a very specific category of psychologist when discussing this topic, she's of the group where they blame all bad behavior on magical personality disorders, whichever one is convenient at the moment. News flash, there is a reason serial killers often don't fit the model for psychopathy, it's because they're psychotic, not emotionally vacant. There is a reason hitmen like the famous Mr. Klinsky (sp?) can be so perplexing, because on one hand he kills people for a living, on the other he was a loving father and husband who had lots of friends and is reduced to honest tears on tape when discussing the impact of his deeds on his children... He wasn't a psychopath (not a primary one at least). He likely would have never been caught if he had been. Psychopathy is not required for people to be bad, or bad people to do bad things, or even bad people to do good things on occasion; people are complex, more complex than this book gives them credit for being. And I feel like Dr. Stout has overlooked that in favor of spinning a good yarn so that her book sells.
If you read this, and find yourself enamored with the perplexing and engaging study of the psychopath, I suggest you actually read "Without Conscience" by Dr. Hare, as well as "Snakes in Suits" by Dr. Hare and Dr. Bobiak (I think I spelled that right), as well as "People of the Lie" by Dr. Peck. You cannot speak on, theorize about, or assess with any sort of accuracy the potential dangers of someone like a psychopath being within your sphere of influence off the contents of this book alone. In fact if all your exposure to the topic is from this book you'll become agoraphobic due the amount of anxiety you'll instill in yourself by seeing "sociopaths" everywhere. Monsters are very real my friends, but they do not hide under your bed or go "bump" in the night very often, far more commonly they smile at you with warmth and say "How was school today son?" Or "I love you so much" one morning after two weeks of dating, and you bask in the romanticism of their implied sincerity while their eyes sparkle in genuine happiness at your naivety. If you really want to understand the personality behind the title, you'll have to step well outside this book before you develop an informed opinion.
Top reviews from other countries
For me, this book just wasn't what I was hoping for, or expecting. If you are looking for a more intelligently written, examined book about this particular branch of psychology, I am guessing that there are other books out there which would be far better.
I am not exaggerating when I say that after reading this book the world made much more sense to me.
I am now reading it for the third time.
I recommend it to many of my patients who have a psychopath in their lives.
Excellent, great case studies, could not put it down. I had a major problem with a psychopath at work this really helped me to understand that even therapists can be psychopaths.
Please purchase this book if you are finding perspective to what has happened to you.
















