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Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life Paperback – April 15, 2010
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About the Author
Lauren Mackler is a renowned coach, keynote speaker, and host of the weekly Life Keys radio show on HayHouseRadio.com. Over the past 25 years, she has been a psychotherapist, workshop facilitator, corporate consultant, and a leading authority in the areas of personal transformation, relationships, and professional performance. She is the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, and fellow author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey, and Ken Blanchard.
Top Customer Reviews
That said, this one isn't bad. What makes it revolutionary, really,is the fact that she's NOT saying: This is how to fix your lonesome self so that you will be more attractive to friends, neighbors, family members and the opposite sex (or the same sex, I guess) and not be alone anymore. Rather, she's saying that the people who don't like being alone are frequently those who don't really like themselves and thus have a hard time being alone with themselves. Makes sense, certainly.
However, she's still writing largely about her own situation -- young marriage, harsh divorce, moving back to the US from Europe, alone. She's talking about the aloneness that comes from being single --not all those other types of aloneness; not waking up with my menopausal self in the middle of the night and being unable to go to sleep and wondering what the heck I'm doing with myself aloneness. Not being in a lonely marriage aloneness. Not wondering why I'm so different from all the other hellish housewives in my subdivision who seem perfectly content to play bunco, drink margaritas and talk about their latest diet aloneness.
On the positive side: Nowhere in the book does she suggest that physical exercise will solve your problems, which i always consider a huge plus in the self-help literature.Read more ›
"If your energy is being expended in staying safe - in avoiding failure, rejection, physical harm, and emotional pain by avoiding the people, places, and situations that trigger your fears-then that energy is tied up in your vigilance to stay safe instead of in fulfilling your potential." Page 78
"If you make finding a soul mate the main focus of your life-and many people do-then if he or she fails to show up, you may spend many days or months or years waiting for a happy and fulfilling life instead of living it." Page 32
Thanks for writing this terrific book, Lauren. It is a Godsend.
This book is tremendously insightful, and very well written. It is filled with a compilation of all of the tools (as well as the theories behind them) to take concrete, doable actions to move forward in your life and to live true to who you are. I think that so many of us know that we want "more" yet we don't always know what that "more" is, why we want "more", and how to get "more" out of our lives. Many of us just walk around doing the same old thing day in and day out, or as Lauren Mackler calls it, living life by default. She gives us the tools to live a more deliberate life, one that we have outlined for ourselves, and one that is more in line with our authentic selves.
What I love about this book is that it truly gave me a comprehensive step-by-step guide for personal transformation. I found that the book broke things down into manageable pieces for me to read, with corresponding exercises/activities for me to do. Each one built upon the next one, and at the end of the book, I had a life vision statement that empowered me, excited me, and energized me. And, even better, it is realistic!
I also love that Lauren Mackler is upfront about this work.Read more ›
Lauren Mackler has put her heart and soul into Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, a Hay House publication that walks readers through the importance of finding completion within oneself. She believes that first one must be whole because connecting with others.
She shares her own life story and experience as a prelude and support to the exercise and the guidelines she shares to help readers achieve wholeness.
Chapters like "Uncovering Your Unconditioned Self" talk about how you are born full of all emotions and free to express them. Growing up in a family unit starts affecting how you feel about your emotions and which you start expressing and most particularly repressing. Unprogramming yourselves from this is a very challenging thing to be but can have immense rewards for through this effort you can discover what your true preferences are and then make decisions that are best for you, not what other people may think is best for you.
Mackler continues this process through her "Living Deliberately Versus by Default" chapter where she suggests:
* Sending loving messages to yourself
* Taking good care of yourself
* Do nice things for yourself
* Set boundaries with other people
* Become your own advocate
* Believe in yourself
* Be compassionate
She culminates these suggestions with her chapter "Bringing Your Vision to Life," where she has created exercises to facilitate and expedite a reader's achievement of the goals of the book.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life by Lauren Mackler is a very good book that blends practical discipline that is based upon sound psychological and... Read morePublished 3 days ago by Arthur D. Schwartz
I've only gotten to chapter 3 and I've already felt my life transition for the best. I have to admit, Lauren has done a great job in simplifying things that are seemingly... Read morePublished 10 months ago by Ms. Wright
Great read; this book gives a divergent view on this subject --a must read if solo! Good price, and fast shipping.Published 20 months ago by B.ellen
'Solemate' is an excellent piece of work designed for the reader to follow procedures for self-improvement. It has several creative ideas to incorporate into one's life. Read morePublished 21 months ago by Sheldon T. Beck
Excellent book - I read this after I was divorced, but before I started dating. I recommend it for anyone who is divorced & knows that there are issues with their primary family... Read morePublished 21 months ago by Mary Emerson