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Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life Paperback – April 15, 2010
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“Solemate – what a fabulous term for one who has mastered the fine art of being with oneself. This is the promise of Solemate – a book and program that can help anyone feel happier and more complete.”Christiane Northrup, MD, author of The Secret Pleasures of Menopause (Hay House, 2008), The Wisdom of Menopause (Bantam, revised 2006), Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (Bantam, revised 2006), and Mother-Daughter Wisdom (Bantam, 2005)
“Lauren Mackler's new book reframes aloneness as a gift and a blessing, the perfect opportunity to uncover wisdom, power, and a deeper capacity to love. Whether in a relationship or not, she offers step-by-step advice for fearlessly becoming your authentic self.”
Susan Piver, New York Times bestselling author of The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do” and the award-winning How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life
“Lauren's deeply personal book explores new territory in the area of intimate relationships. I encourage you to read 'Solemate' and apply its insight to your life.”
Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., author of Five Wishes and co-author of Conscious Loving (with Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks)
“Lauren Mackler is a passionate catalyst for change who knows how to help people achieve real results. Now she¹s captured her groundbreaking approach in Solemate, a must-read for anyone committed to improving his or her life and relationships.”
Robin Sharma, author of the #1 international bestsellers The Greatness Guide and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
About the Author
Lauren Mackler is a renowned coach, keynote speaker, and host of the weekly Life Keys radio show on HayHouseRadio.com. Over the past 25 years, she has been a psychotherapist, workshop facilitator, corporate consultant, and a leading authority in the areas of personal transformation, relationships, and professional performance. She is the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, and fellow author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey, and Ken Blanchard.
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We are all limited by a life of conditioned behaviors but, at the same time, as the author shows, we also have the potential to overcome and effectively escape them. Mastering the art of aloneness requires that we first embrace our alonenes. But in order to embrace it, we must first discover limitations that inevitably derive from the “family-of-origin” that may block and disguise our authentic selves—or our essential loving nature. The limitations can come in the form of anger, fear and other emotions that may result in negative or distorted images of ourselves that scar and damage self-esteem and self-worth.
The book goes into considerable detail on how we can develop and nurture a profoundly loving relationship with ourselves. This is a hugely important issue for many of us and is, indeed, I believe something that the world as a whole desperately needs. As the chapters move along, the discussion of the various aspects of mastering the art of aloneness provides the reader with exercises and routines that are recommended for breaking through the “trance states” that may continually act as throwbacks to negative conditioning, often originating with the family-of-origin. An “inner nurturing parent” may need to be created in cases in which an actual/biological parent has been deficient. We can become our own nurturing parent and, like the love of a parent that sustains and inspires, we develop the ability to give this most important of all gifts to ourselves. We all need to have an inner nurturing parent!
The author is quite right in focusing on distinct—but intimately connected, inner and outer support systems. While our exterior lives and our interior lives are interconnected they can have their own maladies, and greater happiness generally ensues when they are brought into harmony with each other. Mackler is careful to remind the reader that her book is not about valuing aloneness as something that is more important or less important than togetherness. The irony is that mastering the art of aloneness makes it much more likely that an individual will be able to master the art of togetherness. Aloneness and togetherness are really two perspectives on the same thing, which is the value of love whether it is projected inward or projected outward. In either case, within the inner and outer support systems there exist elements that hold the secrets to a happy and joyful life.
who finds aloneness to be shocking.
Laura has a website that is also instructive.
This book started my progression to a big
changes in attitudes & life style changes
necessary to enjoy maybe 20 more years of my life.
An easy read, so don;'t worry about not getting the essence of
Laura's advice; go on a gradient of positive changes.
~A New Fan. :)
I hope this is helpful. We are all works in progress!