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Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept: Protect children from unsafe touch by teaching them to always speak up Paperback – Illustrated, January 11, 2011
Story is a great medium to discuss difficult topics. 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' was written to ensure children are armed with knowledge if they are ever touched inappropriately; and from the first unsafe touch, a child will understand to tell a trusted adult and keep on telling until they are believed. It is an important book and one that all children need to hear. Forewarned is forearmed! This book is supported by free activities and child protection resources on our website. 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' is available in 7 languages including English, Spanish, German, Chinese, Japanese, Italian and French.
Body Safety Education (also known as protective behaviours or child sexual abuse prevention education) involves so much more than focusing on stranger danger. In fact, 95% of sexually abused children will know their abuser and only 5% will be strangers. It is also crucial for children to learn that they must never keep secrets that make them feel bad or uncomfortable (in fact, we teach it's best not to have secrets in families, only happy surprises). The trouble with secrets is that they are the main tool used by child molesters to ensure children remain silent about the abuse. Ensuring the secret is kept is of utmost importance to the perpetrator. Therefore, threats and insisting no-one will believe the child is used as a way of controlling the child to be silent. Through Body Safety Education parents and children will learn the importance of there being no secrets between us.
Parents and carers need to be on the lookout for signs of sexual abuse in children and grooming behaviour which is often focused on themselves as well as their children. The answer to the question, 'How do I keep kids safe from sexual abuse?' is simple; teach them Body Safety Education from a very young age. Always use the correct names for their genitals, ensure they know that the parts covered by their swimsuit are known as their private parts, and that private means 'just for you', and consequently not for sharing. This is known as the swimsuit lesson. When you teach your child that 'your body belongs to you' you are empowering them with confidence through knowledge.
Body Safety Education also involves teaching your child that no-one can touch their private parts, and if they do, they must tell a trusted adult until believed.
Kids need to be safe as well as feel safe. Teaching a child that private means 'just for you' and that their private parts are found under their swimsuit is a valuable lesson that can prevent child molestation.
The sexual abuse of children is regrettably very common. Approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.
You can help stop child abuse by teaching social and physical boundaries to kids and that some parts are not for sharing. A child needs be able to proclaim loudly and with conviction that, 'My body belongs to me', 'I am the boss of my body' and that 'From my head to my toes, I say what goes'.
Please note: the author uses 'safe and unsafe touch' or 'inappropriate touch' as preferred terms for good and bad touch which may be confusing for a child as bad touch (inappropriate touch) can often feel good, i.e. be pleasurable and this can cause confusion for a child.
- Reading age4 - 7 years, from customers
- Print length34 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Grade levelPreschool - 5
- Dimensions8.1 x 0.2 x 10.8 inches
- PublisherEducate2empower Publishing
- Publication dateJanuary 11, 2011
- ISBN-100987186019
- ISBN-13978-0987186010
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Editorial Reviews
Review
... "it's really important to own this book for you and your family. It handles a very difficult (and uncomfortable) subject in a sensitive and age appropriate way and provides a chance to discuss it with your children." --tacklenappy.com/features/reviews/item/327-tacklenappy-book-review
... "there is a children's book that you MUST get if you have any children in your life. Whether they are your children or someone else's, please help make the topic of childhood sexual abuse just ever so slightly easier to broach with them by using this remarkable tool."
"GET the book, READ the book and most importantly, TALK about the book WITH your children."
"Anything that might help protect your children from the hands of a sexual predator is a priceless investment." --togetherweheal.wordpress.com/2012/11/24/some-secrets-should-never-be-kept/
"This is a skilfully written and beautifully illustrated book which covers the subject of keeping young children safe from sexual abuse. Written as a tool to help parents, caregivers and teachers broach the subject in a non-threatening way, it sensitively weaves the important facts into a story that young children will find accessible." --littleparachutes.com/book.php?id=571
"Our family has felt more empowered to address the issue of sexual abuse through having this resource, "... --momentsaday.com/protecting-children-against-sexual-abuse/
"I'm often asked for resources for children to help them protect them from possible sexual abuse. There has been nothing I could recommend. Until now."
"Melbourne author, primary school teacher and mother, Jayneen Sanders, has filled the gap by publishing a picture book for children titled 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept'." --melindatankardreist.com/2012/04/some-secrets-should-never-be-kept-new-book-to-help-parents-and-kids-discuss-inappropriate-touch/
From the Author
Forewarned is forearmed. If a situation like the one Sir Alfred encountered were to happen to a child, it is my sincere hope that they could draw on what they have learned from the story and the subsequent, essential discussion -- and speak up.
From the Inside Flap
It is important that young children are educated in personal safety and to speak up if they are inappropriately touched. Here are some general 'body safety' tips, followed by more specific guidelines on reading Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept to your child.
General Body Safety Tips
- Young children often find it hard to articulate how they are feeling. Therefore, provide daily opportunities to talk about feelings. Ask questions such as, How do you feel when it's your birthday? When you pat a puppy? When you go down a big slide for the first time?
- Discuss 'safe' and 'unsafe' feelings and brainstorm scenarios. Discuss how your child feels when they are worried or unsafe. Talk about what happens to their body: sweaty hands, racing heart, start to cry, sick feeling in their tummy, wobbly knees, etc. Say, These are your Early Warning Signs and they tell you when something is not right. Encourage your child to trust their feelings.
- Introduce the term 'private body parts'. Tell your child that their private parts are the areas under their bathing suit. Use the correct terminology for body parts from a young age. Tell your child that no-one can touch their private body parts (which also includes their mouth) and they can say 'Stop!' or 'No!' if someone does. Reinforce that they should tell someone they trust about the inappropriate touch. Have your child practise putting out their hand and saying 'Stop!' or 'No!' Tell your child that it is also wrong for them to touch somebody else's private body parts, even if they are asked to. Discuss briefly when it is appropriate for someone to touch their body, e.g. a doctor, but only if you or a trusted adult is in the room.
Reading 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept'
- Explain to your child that you are going to read a very special story. Show the cover and read the title. Ask, Who do you think this little boy is? How do you think he is feeling? Why do you think he is feeling this way?
- Read the story, stopping and discussing the illustrations when appropriate. Note: in the first reading, we suggest that you keep discussion of the illustrations brief, so that the storyline is not lost. Once the story is finished, go straight to the discussion questions at the back of the book. Spend as long as appropriate on each question. Note: when reading the story again, discuss the little boy's body language and ask your child how the little boy might be feeling.
- Revisit the story in the following week. Say, Do you remember this story? What was it about? What happened to the boy? Should we keep secrets such as someone touching our private parts? What Early Warning Signs did the little boy have? What would you do if someone touched your private parts? Reinforce to your child that they should tell the person to stop, and that it is important to tell someone they trust and keep on telling until they are believed.
- Continuing on from this discussion, have your child name three to five adults (including older teenagers) that they could tell if they are feeling unsafe or experiencing their Early Warning Signs. Talk about how these people are part of their 'network' -- people who they trust and who will always believe them.
- Revisit the story every few months or when a situation arises where your child is in the care of another person. Reinforce the key messages: your body is your body and no-one has the right to touch it, and secrets that make you feel bad and uncomfortable should never be kept.
From the Back Cover
A secret that should never ever be kept.
But who will poor little Sir Alfred tell?
Who can he trust?
Remember, some secrets
should never ever be kept.
This book was written to provide
children with essential skills in
self-protection, and to encourage
them to always speak up.
We recommend that children
be read this story by a parent
or caregiver.
Jayneen Sanders
is also the author of
'Body Safety Education --
A parents' guide to protecting
kids from sexual abuse'
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Educate2empower Publishing
- Publication date : January 11, 2011
- Edition : 2nd ed.
- Language : English
- Print length : 34 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0987186019
- ISBN-13 : 978-0987186010
- Item Weight : 3.84 ounces
- Reading age : 4 - 7 years, from customers
- Dimensions : 8.1 x 0.2 x 10.8 inches
- Grade level : Preschool - 5
- Best Sellers Rank: #330,602 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #127 in Children's Books on Abuse
- #2,878 in Parenting (Books)
- #5,424 in Sociology (Books)
About the author

Jayneen Sanders (aka Jay Dale) is an experienced early years educator, children’s book author and publisher.
She is the leading children’s book author on body safety and consent with nine books written in this space, and more currently in production. Jayneen has also written, and continues to write, children’s books on gender equality and social and emotional intelligence.
Jayneen began her teaching career in the 1980s as a primary school teacher in rural Queensland, Australia. She then moved to Melbourne, Victoria, and taught at several inner-city schools.
In 1985, Jayneen had a change of career and became an educational editor and publisher.
In the early 90s, Jayneen and her partner moved to Japan to work as English teachers. They lived and worked in Japan for over three and a half years. In fact, Jayneen's first daughter was born there.
On returning to Australia, Jayneen began working as an educational author/packager. Since then, she has authored and produced numerous award-winning titles for the educational publishing industry. Jayneen is also an accomplished children's book author, writing titles for literacy series such as ZigZags, Totally Kidz, Deadly and Incredible, and a children's picture book series for Penguin.
Jayneen is currently the lead author of the literacy series Engage Literacy published by Capstone. She has written over 150 titles for that series.
Jayneen is a mother of three daughters and was a school councillor at her local school for over seven years. This time spent in schools both as a teacher and a parent inspired her to ask the question of her community: 'What are we doing in schools to protect our children from inappropriate touch?' When she realised very little was being done, she decided to use her authoring and publishing skills to write 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' to help parents, caregivers and teachers to broach this subject and encourage children to speak up.
After the encouraging response to 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept', Jayneen realised there was a need to further build upon the idea of prevention education. Jayneen participated in Protective Behaviours professional development and attended numerous conferences on the topic to educate herself in how to keep children safe and provide them with age-appropriate and empowering body safety and consent education.
Jayneen then went on to develop and publish a comprehensive Body Safety and Respectful Relationship Teacher's Resource Kit as well as writing many more children's books on the topics of body safety, consent, respect, gender equality, social and emotional intelligence, and diversity and inclusion.
Jayneen currently works with her partner, Mark Sanders to run Educate2Empower Publishing. Her ongoing passion for the safety and empowerment of children continues today, with new manuscripts and free-to-download resources always in the wings.







