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Spa Wars: The Ugly Truth about the Beauty Industry Paperback – February 9, 2011
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Here are some actual quotes from the book.
"I think Howard Stern should be taken more seriously."--one of several comments expressive admiration for Howard Stern
"On any given night, you could have a group of black women approaching the counter and we would look at each other and know exactly what they wanted. Someone would say, 'Here cooooomes the eww baby bus,' and sure enough, they would come up to the counter and say, 'You get eww baby and chess-nut?' Classic! At the end of the day, it didn't take much to entertain us, but an eww baby bus."
[On working in Georgia] "It just adds to the whole idea that southerners think northerners that northerners think they are stupid. Well to be honest, people like that, do nothing to help their cause and only perpetuate that assumption. I would like to enlighten the southern part of the country."
"Of course I always get the obese women who want a Brazilian. I wonder if they're getting it because some guy is going to be down there. Maybe she only wants a Brazilian to be cleaner and in vogue. If that's the case, then drop 100lbs."
[On female lawyers] "Trust me, just about anything you do, is an improvement. Put that money to use and invest in yourself, especially if you are an ultra-liberal granola lawyer. Pick up a copy of Vogue and learn that appearance really is everything. Then make Playboy your new bible, since you don't believe in God anyway and memorize it. Female lawyers don't need to wear red lipstick to look powerful. Just look at Hillary Clinton! She looks pissed and cranky, not powerful. Maybe it's just her crappy, crusty underwear bunching up, but red just doesn't work in the workplace."
[On Asian clients] "I think the whole super smart thing is just a myth because they never seem to understand the steps in doing skin care and makeup. I think that is why Clinique developed the three-step process."
"When a black person does like and trust you, they will be a client for life. They'll shank anyone who gets in their way of seeing you! White women are not loyal like that. They go around constantly trying different people, and always believe they can find the next best great person. Sluts!"
"Even Clinton, the most powerful man in the world, made time for a blowjob, so you can wait online to shop."
"If you're an Indian man or woman, get a pedicure now. These people have feet that look like they walked right out of a Planet of the Apes Episode, from the 1970's."
The latter part of the book is a guide to recommended treatments and products. The author writes, "It is my mission in life to educate myself and others and force comapanies to higher more ethical standards. That was really the point of the book." Umm, could have fooled me.
Many of her recommended skin treatment products are made by her sister's company. To her credit, she fully discloses this. For the other products, she doesn't give specific names. She recommends "Skinceuticals Sunblock." Skinceuticals doesn't have any product called Sunblock. It has six sunscreens. Which one(s) is she referring to?
As others have said, the writing is very choppy--she often switches subjects randomly--and wasn't carefully proofread. That's a minor complaint compared to the actual content of the writing.
In the beauty/spa field we see the best---and WORST--sides of people. Some clients are so demanding that they come off as vulgar. Those folks are the bulls-eye target the author was likely aiming at. It provides a humorous "tension-relief valve" to anyone in this profession who have dealt with their share of primadonnas and downright sadistic clients (thankfully they are the minority).
So...when visiting a spa, please don't think that your skincare specialist is snickering behind your back. She/he is just hopeful that you will treat her/him with respect, so that your experience will be its absolute best. If you do buy this book, read it with consideration for the farcical tone in which it was intended.